kinda dreading getting married

[aly888]

If you aren't comfortable with your OH having a stripper at his stag/bachelors party then really the only thing you can do is talk to him about it. Tell him you wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that was going to happen. Make it clear that it's not about trusting him etc but more of a betrayal. And let him tell you any worries he may have about your hen/bachelorette party To be perfectly honest, films do make things worse. Strippers (in UK at least) are generally not attractive at all. Usually aging/scrawny/saggy women and not the 5'10 toned and tanned specimens that Hollywood would have us (or the men) believe, so if he did have one there's no doubt he'd be bitterly disappointed.

Personally, where my OHs stag do is concerned, the less I know the better. I don't want to know what goes on or what he's having. Ignorance is bliss, and at the end of the day, if he wants to do the dirty with someone like that then me saying 'no' isn't going to stop him

 

[Tiff]

I don't know, I'd never outright tell my husband he couldn't do something that he wanted to. Who am I to tell him what he can and can't do? I would be LIVID if he came up to me and forbade me from doing something. There's no way in hell that would fly with me!

If I was upset or against something, of course I would say so. I'd state my reasons. One of the great things about my guy is that he understands and listens... so if I was seriously opposed to something he probably wouldn't do it. Just as I wouldn't do something that he was seriously opposed to.

I guess I just don't understand the 'Oh, I'd tell him no and he better respect it' mentality. Honestly, if he ever tried that on me my first thought would be how DARE he!

Mine wasn't a No and you'd better respect it, as much as it was a "if you don't respect my feelings there's no future for us". Course it really wasn't an issue between the two of us as it was his step-dad picking on me about it and purposly pushing my buttons trying to upset me...DH never actually said anything about it until we had our talk and then he told his step-dad to shut up when he mentioned it again. Course I didn't know where DH stood on it and had I known that he had no desire to have strippers anyway, then I prolly wouldn't have even mentioned it at all.

Wasn't meaning to single you out hunny, it was more just the general feeling of some of the posts.

That's very unfair of his stepdad though to tease you about something to purposely upset you. I'll never understand why people think that's okay.

 

[BabiesOneDay]

Curious how this turned out for you? I'm in the same boat now. I totally trust my OH. I do NOT, never have, and never will, trust his "friends". Mine is a bit of a double-whammy. The stripper thing, I am against because I too feel looking at a naked woman is not okay when you're taken. He got to do that before me. Those were his "glory days". They were over when he met me as far as I'm concerned.

The double-whammy... OH is a product of two alcoholics, and is just now getting to a place where he's getting in better control of himself. We'll refer to it I suppose as more of a social drinking/control/can't stop when he starts kind of problem than full blown alcoholism right now. His friends are not aware of his struggles.

So, what is a bachelor party if not strippers and booze? In my case, seems like he should forego one all today. Idk if this would bother him or not. I don't want a bachelorette. We've considered eloping anyway, but a planned elopement, so I know people would know we are marrying, and I know his friends would try to do a bachelor party. THAT would likely me the part he would have trouble with... explaining to them why we aren't doing them :/

Ugh

 

[Cowgirl07]

My dh never had a stripper, I wasn't completely for him having one. So one night we sat down and discussed it. I would never forbid him to have one, because if he forbade me to go out or something I would be mad. He decided along with his best man not to have one. He had been to a strip joint when he turned 18, he said they aren't worth it. So instead of that they went and shot trap, had a bbq and then they went to the bars. I think there are plenty of options besides the typical strippers and bars. Maybe have a coed shower/party at a park or something.

 

[Tiff]

My dh never had a stripper, I wasn't completely for him having one. So one night we sat down and discussed it. I would never forbid him to have one, because if he forbade me to go out or something I would be mad. He decided along with his best man not to have one. He had been to a strip joint when he turned 18, he said they aren't worth it. So instead of that they went and shot trap, had a bbq and then they went to the bars. I think there are plenty of options besides the typical strippers and bars. Maybe have a coed shower/party at a park or something.

True! My husband's "bachelor party" was him and a bunch of friends spending the weekend at a white water rafting camp. They got there Friday night, yes there was some drinking, but they had to be at breakfast by 6am the next morning as their first foray out into the river was at 7am. They spent ALL day in the river, exhausted by the time they were done and all had an early night ha ha.

There are definitely ways for him to have a bachelor party that doesn't include booze and strippers.

 

[Mummy May]

I'm not accepting of it either and my oh wasn't accepting of me having a stripper either - but in my eyes they're vile and tacky haha. We decided together that we each wont do that xx

 

[mrs owl]

I'm not accepting of it either and my oh wasn't accepting of me having a stripper either - but in my eyes they're vile and tacky haha. We decided together that we each wont do that xx

totally agree...I have much better ways to spend my money than to visit a strip club