knowing what your baby would've looked like

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by aviolet, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. aviolet

    aviolet Mommy of 1 angel

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    hey does anyone ever wish they could've known what their baby would've looked like? Like.... what color hair... what color eyes... whose nose would they have, whose smile? These things are bothering me so much lately :( I want so many more details than I was allowed time to know :cry: I can only guess on the gender, whatever I feel in my gut, and knowing what he/she'd look like is just another one of those things where I personally need to feel it on some intuitive level to continue healing... when I get to heaven it won't matter if I'm right or wrong, but here on earth it'll help me cope if I have an idea of what my baby would look like.

    A friend suggested I check out some hereditary studies.... seems brown hair is the most dominant (which I have, the father is blonde), so looking at our parents - if my mom had brown hair, and his dad had brown hair then it's likely our baby would've been a brunette, add to that our siblings and their hair and eye color... but my mom has blonde hair, I don't know about his dad, and my sister is blonde with blue eyes and the father's brothers are all blonde and blue eyed, so... I guess maybe that means it's a 50/50 shot for our baby to be either blonde or brunette? I'm not sure I got that right and it seems too complicated. plus I'm no closer to figuring out what she might have looked like... How annoying! lol.
    oh and my cousin is a brunette, and her husband has brown hair, yet they had a little blonde boy with blue eyes so I guess brunettes don't always win out even when the odds are in their favor... just wish I could come up with something my heart will accept, even if it isn't right... I want a picture of her in my mind, it's so important to me that it just feel right...
     
  2. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    Oh sweetie, I know exactly how you feel. I always imagined my little boy would look just like his Daddy, o that's how i picture him in my mind. Our youngest daughter looks like her Daddy too. We were lucky that we got to see Charlie and although he was only 13 weeks, it was obvious he had the same nose and mouth as Jasmine. This comforts me, although i am struggling to look at Jasmine sometimes because it is such a huge reminder of what i have lost.

    Stay string sweetie, take time to grieve and think of your baby as often as you want to. Don't let any one pressure you into moving on.

    We are all here, and in the same boat.

    Much love xxx
     
  3. Las78

    Las78 Mum to 3 beautiful girls

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    Oh hun, I too wonder what my angel would have looked like, he should have been 5 months old now.

    I know it may seem strange but there are places you can go where they combine yours and hubby's photos and create an image of what your child may look like, perhaps that would help?

    I'm sorry, I know how hard this is for you x
     
  4. aviolet

    aviolet Mommy of 1 angel

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    Oh yeah I hadn't thought of those places that combine photos... usually they just look creepy, lol. but I did a google search anyway just to see what I could come up with... found one website called makemebabies.com :haha: I tried about 10 times trying to get a baby with brown eyes, but everytime they made them blue. And all of the photos looked hideous except the very first one.... when I saw it I actually said "awww" as it almost looked realistic :thumbup: I shouldn't have kept trying because all the combinations that followed looked horribly fake and ridiculous, lol. But this one.... well, it's sweet anyway. :cloud9:

    https://i49.tinypic.com/2drgk21.jpg
     
  5. Las78

    Las78 Mum to 3 beautiful girls

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    Aww, that is sweet hun x
     
  6. tinybutterfly

    tinybutterfly Proud Mommy

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    ^^ i find most of those pictures creepy too...

    as for genetics, the blonde hair is 50/50.
    hair colour is determined by 4 allels (spots on dna), since your mom is blonde but you're brown
    your combination is B.bb (B= brown, b= blond .=undecided).
    you get half of that from your dad (B.) and half of your mom (bb since her 4 are bbbb).
    your OH's combination is bbbb (blonde).
    for your little one, the possible combinations are
    B.bb - B.bb, bbbb, bbbb, so 50/50 for each

    don't have enough info for the colour of the eyes though,
    but how you find it is similar to the hair colour as blue is recessive and brown is dominant
     
  7. aviolet

    aviolet Mommy of 1 angel

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    Thanks :) Still confuses me, lol. But yeah it generally seems like it's a 50/50 shot with hair and eye color so I'm pretty much still stuck in the unknown :(
     
  8. Melly

    Melly WTT after Angel Baby

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    i wonder this too.

    im sure i was having a boy. the male side of hubbys family mostly have dimple chins, so i wonder if our baby would have had the same. we were both quite fair as kids (i was very blonde, he was mousey), i have greeny blue eyes, he has brown.
     

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