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[sammiexsue]

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[Anniebobs]

I'm sorry your mum isn't being as supportive as you'd like. It sounds like a lot of the problems are stemming from you living with your mum, I don't know if it's possible but maybe it's time to get your own place. I know when my sister was expecting her first she was living at home and before she announced her pregnancy she went to the bank and got approved for a mortgage then told mum the news and explained that she'd be moved out by the time the baby arrived. I love my mum and she's a very hands on granny but I couldn't live with her, especially when raising my family!

 

[notmommyyet]

I have to agree with Annie and I do kind of feel bad for your mom. She has more or less been helping raise your daughter and now that you guys can't live there you are packing up and leaving. I would imagine your mother is very attached to your daughter. Why leave states? Why not just get your own place and be financially independent in your current state?

Secondly if your mom was kicking you out once a month why would you want to have another child while living in that house? I would have found out my own place and then got knocked up.

 

[mod19]

Well which parent will appreciate the little ones more? I know its hard to move. I moved from Wisconsin to Texas this last year so my husband could be by his daughter, but as soon as she's 18 we're going right back to Wisconsin. As far as I'm concerned you need as little stress as possible right now. And if moving to be by your dad is the best thing for you right now then that's what you need to do. Sounds to me like your mom is having some sort of break down or mid life crisis. Loving mothers and grandmothers don't act like that, not saying your mother isn't loving, just saying maybe she needs counseling to help get her through the divorce. Sounds to me like she's really not over it yet. She needs to deal with her own problems before making any for you

 

[korndogger123]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

 

[purplecupcake]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

 

[mod19]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with that too, although my parents wouldn't mind I understand a lot of people would. She did say it was a temporary 6 month situation though, so they would be moved out before the baby came. And to kick them out and let them back and kick them out and let them back over and over again is just showing characteristicss of an unstable person.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I agree with all the previous posters, it's time to get your own place to raise your children. Living under parents roofs while raising kids gets too messy.

 

[skyesmom]

I have to agree with Annie and I do kind of feel bad for your mom. She has more or less been helping raise your daughter and now that you guys can't live there you are packing up and leaving. I would imagine your mother is very attached to your daughter. Why leave states? Why not just get your own place and be financially independent in your current state?

Secondly if your mom was kicking you out once a month why would you want to have another child while living in that house? I would have found out my own place and then got knocked up.

hey hon, this is a support forum. you have no idea of these people's situation, age, financial status, etc. nor you don't know their mother. i'd be more careful with judging people so harshly.

if she wants to move out of a dysfunctional household, and change states, that's her own choice. and if they need support from a grandparent for whatever reason and here they get problems, maybe a move is the best solution. i find it really easy to sit comfortably in your chair, and judge and criticize the people you've never met over internet.

i think this person has enough of trouble in her real life and she came here looking for some support, so let's be friendlier and helpful.

 

[korndogger123]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with that too, although my parents wouldn't mind I understand a lot of people would. She did say it was a temporary 6 month situation though, so they would be moved out before the baby came. And to kick them out and let them back and kick them out and let them back over and over again is just showing characteristicss of an unstable person.

If her mom is so unstable why would you plan a baby? If your being kicked out and let back in I would have never planned a baby I understand and sympathize she had to have a baby now or never but that would of been my motivation to get on my own feet ASAP. Less stress all around.

My mother became very unstable after her divorce. (She wanted it but it was still hard on her). She was rarely able to be there for me and my baby but I'm not going to fault her for that. Her emotions were everywhere.


No one owes providing you and your children a place to live except you and your partner. If she wants you out one day I mean what can you say? It's their house. It's not their job to provide you housing.

As for everything else sit down and have a heart to heart.

 

[_jellybean_]

Sounds like you're having a hard time. Hope things get better with the move.

 

[notmommyyet]

I have to agree with Annie and I do kind of feel bad for your mom. She has more or less been helping raise your daughter and now that you guys can't live there you are packing up and leaving. I would imagine your mother is very attached to your daughter. Why leave states? Why not just get your own place and be financially independent in your current state?

Secondly if your mom was kicking you out once a month why would you want to have another child while living in that house? I would have found out my own place and then got knocked up.

hey hon, this is a support forum. you have no idea of these people's situation, age, financial status, etc. nor you don't know their mother. i'd be more careful with judging people so harshly.

if she wants to move out of a dysfunctional household, and change states, that's her own choice. and if they need support from a grandparent for whatever reason and here they get problems, maybe a move is the best solution. i find it really easy to sit comfortably in your chair, and judge and criticize the people you've never met over internet.

i think this person has enough of trouble in her real life and she came here looking for some support, so let's be friendlier and helpful.

I don't find anything wrong with what I said. I was not being judgmental. I was giving her another perspective. My friend lived with her mother while raising her daughter and I will tell you her mom loves that little girl as if she is her own. My friend lost custody and it tore her mother up. I was not judging but I do feel bad for the grandmother who has been in the little girls life since day one. And also how the little girl won't be able to see her grandma anymore.

And if I lived in an unstable house where I was being thrown out once a month that is not exactly the best time to try for a second child. Once again these are my own personal feelings.

 

[skyesmom]

but the OP said in her second phrase that for some medical issues this could be the last child she can have and that if they wanted another one, that they had to try immediately. i don't think that leaves you much options for the family planning in terms of time.
and i personally don't find it helpful to tell to someone "i wouldn't have gotten pregnant in that situation" when they already are (and conceiving and having future children is compromised) and nothing can be done about it.

 

[mod19]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with that too, although my parents wouldn't mind I understand a lot of people would. She did say it was a temporary 6 month situation though, so they would be moved out before the baby came. And to kick them out and let them back and kick them out and let them back over and over again is just showing characteristicss of an unstable person.

If her mom is so unstable why would you plan a baby? If your being kicked out and let back in I would have never planned a baby I understand and sympathize she had to have a baby now or never but that would of been my motivation to get on my own feet ASAP. Less stress all around.

My mother became very unstable after her divorce. (She wanted it but it was still hard on her). She was rarely able to be there for me and my baby but I'm not going to fault her for that. Her emotions were everywhere.


No one owes providing you and your children a place to live except you and your partner. If she wants you out one day I mean what can you say? It's their house. It's not their job to provide you housing.

As for everything else sit down and have a heart to heart.

She's said that she's on a time crunch to have another child if she wanted to have more. I wasn't trying to start any drama in here I was just supporting the OP since that's why she came on here...for support. She also stated that it was temporary to pay off some bills so that they would be in a better financial situation. I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing. Not everyone makes $100k+/yr. She didn't come here to be judged and I don't understand why people are replying to her with such negative comments. I think we all need to go watch Bambi again. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.". She's already having a hard time with her family, why make it harder for her from a stranger?

 

[perfectgoddes]

PP, OP said she has PCOS and I have PCOS so actually, the older ladies with PCOS get, the likelier we are to get pregnant naturally. Unless she has another medical condition, PCOS is not the real reason she had to get pregnant now. I am not going to guess at her real reasons. We all make our own choices. I do agree with other posters that she knew her mom was recently divorced and if her dad is already remarried, she may want to consider her mom's current emotional state. I can easily see how relocating to be near her dad and step mom could upset her mother. If anything, the needing to move in with family for financial reasons would have been my personal reason to wait to grow my family.
Hopefully, everything works out for OP and she is able to maintain all of her family relationships.

 

[korndogger123]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with that too, although my parents wouldn't mind I understand a lot of people would. She did say it was a temporary 6 month situation though, so they would be moved out before the baby came. And to kick them out and let them back and kick them out and let them back over and over again is just showing characteristicss of an unstable person.

If her mom is so unstable why would you plan a baby? If your being kicked out and let back in I would have never planned a baby I understand and sympathize she had to have a baby now or never but that would of been my motivation to get on my own feet ASAP. Less stress all around.

My mother became very unstable after her divorce. (She wanted it but it was still hard on her). She was rarely able to be there for me and my baby but I'm not going to fault her for that. Her emotions were everywhere.


No one owes providing you and your children a place to live except you and your partner. If she wants you out one day I mean what can you say? It's their house. It's not their job to provide you housing.

As for everything else sit down and have a heart to heart.

She's said that she's on a time crunch to have another child if she wanted to have more. I wasn't trying to start any drama in here I was just supporting the OP since that's why she came on here...for support. She also stated that it was temporary to pay off some bills so that they would be in a better financial situation. I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing. Not everyone makes $100k+/yr. She didn't come here to be judged and I don't understand why people are replying to her with such negative comments. I think we all need to go watch Bambi again. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.". She's already having a hard time with her family, why make it harder for her from a stranger?

I still 100% stand by what I said.

If her mom is so unstable why would you plan a baby? If your being kicked out and let back in I would have never planned a baby I understand and sympathize she had to have a baby now or never but that would of been my motivation to get on my own feet ASAP. Less stress all around.

I'm trying to offer another insight, that's all. I have had what I call an "insufferable mother"... so I am trying to give insight of maybe a little of what her mother is feeling.

I also say sit down with mom and talk it out....

 

[mod19]

I feel I could never raise my children in someone else house. Even though you are paying, they are sacrificing a lot to have children in their home. (especially since they raised theirs).
My mom also divorced and it was a VERY emotional time for her. She NEEDED to be alone.

Maybe she is upset you planned another baby under her roof without thinking, "Hey maybe we should get our own place."

My family would have been mad and assumed I am taking advantage.

Your mom prob has a lot of emotions. Try and cut her some slack.

Totally agree. If I had a grown adult child who moved back in with me and kept having chidden...I'd be annoyed too.

I agree with that too, although my parents wouldn't mind I understand a lot of people would. She did say it was a temporary 6 month situation though, so they would be moved out before the baby came. And to kick them out and let them back and kick them out and let them back over and over again is just showing characteristicss of an unstable person.

If her mom is so unstable why would you plan a baby? If your being kicked out and let back in I would have never planned a baby I understand and sympathize she had to have a baby now or never but that would of been my motivation to get on my own feet ASAP. Less stress all around.

My mother became very unstable after her divorce. (She wanted it but it was still hard on her). She was rarely able to be there for me and my baby but I'm not going to fault her for that. Her emotions were everywhere.


No one owes providing you and your children a place to live except you and your partner. If she wants you out one day I mean what can you say? It's their house. It's not their job to provide you housing.

As for everything else sit down and have a heart to heart.

She's said that she's on a time crunch to have another child if she wanted to have more. I wasn't trying to start any drama in here I was just supporting the OP since that's why she came on here...for support. She also stated that it was temporary to pay off some bills so that they would be in a better financial situation. I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing. Not everyone makes $100k+/yr. She didn't come here to be judged and I don't understand why people are replying to her with such negative comments. I think we all need to go watch Bambi again. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.". She's already having a hard time with her family, why make it harder for her from a stranger?

I'm trying to offer another insight, that's all. I have had what I call an "insufferable mother"... so I am trying to give insight of maybe a little of what her mother is feeling.

Gotcha. I can't imagine how hard it must be to get divorced and have you're ex move on before you do. I'm sure its hard and plays games with your head.

 

[sammiexsue]

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[sammiexsue]

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[sammiexsue]

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