l

[sammiexsue]

l

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

I'm so sorry you're not finding the support you need. I'm surprised to see what the thread boomed into. I stand by what I said that it would be best to find someplace else to live, whether it be close to your dad or mom because having your kids around their grandparents is a great thing. But it sounds like living with your mother is becoming toxic and baby and your daughter are #1 and that environment isn't a good place to be. I'm sorry that you have to have a hysterectomy, but it's a wonderful thing that you're pregnant now and will have your second baby before it has to be removed. Wishing you the best, things have a way of working out, sometimes it just takes longer to find the right door.

 

[sandilion]

OP sorry to hear you're going through this. I also have a difficult mum and i personally would have a nervous break down if i ever lived with her again. The fact your mother runs around bad mouthing you to everyone is horrible and very childish. My mother has done the same to me, I know how much that hurts. And it sucks even more when people believe the bullshit. But that's usually because they want to.

I think the best thing to do is forget your mum, find your own place and focus on your own life. If you mother wants to to be in your DD's life then i think she needs to be sent a clear message to pull her head in and treat you with more respect. If she has a issue with you then she should be going to you and keeping it between you. This running around talking crap about you is a sure way to end a relationship once and for all imo. I don't blame you for being hurt.

Stay strong love.

 

[skyesmom]

i find it a bit sad that people are willing to write harshly without reading the post well. someone mentioned that they also have a PCOS and that with older age it gets easier to conceive with that condition... and used that as an argument against the OP, when the OP's post clearly stated that there is another condition besides the PCOS for which they won't be able to have children later on. (turns out, a hysterectomy, so quite irreversible i'd say and really leaving no options.)

and besides this, there are kinder ways to state your disagreement than writing insensitive and useless stuff like "i'd moved out before i got knocked up". it's sad, especially on bnb, that's generally a really understanding and supportive place.

 

[Rickles]

TBH - I didn't comment at first because I thought - there's so much going on here - where should I start.

I think you have to understand that online no-one can really step into your shoes - people try and help in the way they think best, for some that's tough love, for others that's empathy. People usually have the right intentions even if it doesn't feel that way.

xx

 

[ElOrance]

And did any of u think to ask maybe theres other problems like her mixing pills that she buys from a dealer and booze

If this is the case it seems like it's a very good thing you'll be moving out. It certainly doesn't sound like your mom is in a good place to even be watching your current child much less providing a stable place for the new baby.

It all sounds very stressful -- particularly since you seem to be getting mixed messages from your mom and it really sucks to seem like you're choosing sides between parents or to have one parent mad at you. But, once you two have found your own place, given birth and all is going well, you can always reach out to your mom to mend fences. Being on your own and independent, as hard as it may be early on, will probably put you in a much better place to develop a good relationship with both parents down the line.

 

[_jellybean_]

I wouldn't feel safe having someone watch my children if they had a drug dealer, so I think it's good that you're making the move. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time.

 

[sammiexsue]

thank you