Labour! is it really THAT bad or bareable?

[NDB1983]

Hi Ladies,

Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth!

Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.

SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Does the epidural hurt????
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

 

[emzky90]

Hi hun, i'm afraid i can't answer your qs aboute epis as i didnt have one. I'd say natural birth is easier and you recover quicker than you would with a section. My birth was amazing- i was induced at that. 4 hour labour on gas and air. I had a 2nd deg tear but didnt feel it happen and the stitches didn't hurt either. hth

 

[emzky90]

Oh and contractions do hurt but breathing and being able to move work wonders. If you cant bear the pain of the contractions tho you can always try the epi as that's supposed to numb all pain xx

 

[Connah'sMommy]

Hi Ladies,

Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth!

Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.

SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Does the epidural hurt????
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

Unless there is a medical reason i personally wouldnt elect for a c section and cant answer the epi Q as i never had one.

What i can give you is a really positive first time birth experience!
If its your first you can have a really positive and natural experience

With Connah i went into labour 1 day before my due date,it was around 1am when i started getting regular contractions and i rang L&D right away. I wont lie, they were coming thick and fast 4 mins apart and very painful.
They were managable though as i managed to stay at home for a while. I was 8cm by the time i got to hospital so all that time dilating was spent at home.

Got there,was asked the usual questions about what had happened so far,got given some G&A and examined.

My water broke spontaniously (allover the place!) i got the urge to push and at 5am Connah was born!

I didnt tear either or have to be cut so a really quick positive labour for me

try not to worry too much about it and dont let anyone scare you with their horror stories, your labour could be totally different to some of the nightmares you hear about

 

[Blah11]

Of course it's bearable or women wouldnt ever have more than 1. It is painful of course but it's also the most amazing experience I've ever had and I cannot wait to do it again in November

My first labour was a back to back baby which are notorious for long, very intense and painful labours. However, I really enjoyed mine, was in active labour for maybe 12 hours, waters went on their own (before contractions), i only pushed for 27 minutes and had NO tears or even grazes.
Didn't have an epidural so can't answer your questions on that.

Best tip for labour is to relax. Look up hypnobirthing and maybe take some classes and when it comes to pushing, listen to your MW. When they say don't push, don't push and when they say keep pushing, keep pushing. Best way to not tear!

 

[Connah'sMommy]

Of course it's bearable or women wouldnt ever have more than 1. It is painful of course but it's also the most amazing experience I've ever had and I cannot wait to do it again in November

My first labour was a back to back baby which are notorious for long, very intense and painful labours. However, I really enjoyed mine, was in active labour for maybe 12 hours, waters went on their own (before contractions), i only pushed for 27 minutes and had NO tears or even grazes.
Didn't have an epidural so can't answer your questions on that.

Best tip for labour is to relax. Look up hypnobirthing and maybe take some classes and when it comes to pushing, listen to your MW. When they say don't push, don't push and when they say keep pushing, keep pushing. Best way to not tear!

Best way IMO, they are there to coach you and the student i had did amazing...im convinced she was the reason i didnt tear and i listened and did exactly as she said

I went into it with an open mind and no birth plan either so i think that contributed to a good experience too x

 

[Babydance]

Hey hun please dont dwell on the labour too much cos afterwards youll regret not enjoying your pregnancy! My friend had a 20 min labour i ended up in theatre.. every single person is different.
Ellective C Section or Normal Birth? I had a "normal" birth but had a borderline 4th degree tear thanks to the doc trying to turn LO so will have a section with this one.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing? Im not sure on this one
Does the epidural hurt???? I had an epidural after i had LO to get my stitches and i can honestly say i didnt feel it atall. This cold stuff is put on your back (i think its the anticeptic stuff) and after that all i remember is chatting to the nurse lol

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through) My birth was fine apart from the doctor trying to turn LO, i then needed forceps and an episi but i only felt the docs tear. Contractions were bareable with G&A and i didnt even know id had an episi until 2 weeks later LOL my sis in law had 2 easy water births no intervention and few stitches both babies were nearing 10lbs!!

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp! I can only comment on my experience and that is that being cut got her out easier and i didnt even know it had happened the tear however i was very aware of lol

All the best hun and remember the birth is only one day (not even that!) Enjoy your pregnancy and that little bundle will be worth all the pain, i can 100% honestly say i had no clue about what was going on down there after she was in my arms!! The first i knew about the placenta being delivered was hearing the doctor saying it had been LOL

xxxxx

 

[Eternal]

Labour and birth are totally bearable, I have had gallstone attacks which have hurt much more. So its not the most painful thing in the world. More importantly you have a baby at the end of it and what a wonderful thing to come out at the end.

C sections are only done for medical reasons, its major surgery.

I had an epidural, it didnt work for me, my spine is a bit ackward though, but as for pain, i didnt feel anything going in. If you have an epi though you ARE more likely to tear, or need instrumental delivery. Plus you usually cant have one until your past 6cms.

I totally cant wait to give birth again!

My first labour went ok, i did have some complications, and had to have an episitomy but other than that no interventions.

I would second what others have said about relaxing, the pain is much more managable if you relax and stay calm, when you panic it gets much worse, so stay calm.

Have you heard of hypo-birthing? Its not for everyone, but as your worrying I think it may work well for you, it works by teaching you how to cope and breathe etc. I havent done it myself, but lots of ladies on here have.

to avoid tearing then you can message yourself which helps with streaching, and importantly, listen to your MW when pushing.

I was cut, but I cant actually remember any pain from being cut, i tried not to think about it and I just wanted my baby out safe so didnt care.

However, the stitches were by far the worse part of my labour! so if you can avoid then do, but of that was the worse the surely labour wasnt so bad!

 

[Tabitha83]

With my first it was all back labor very easy no pain for me anyway. Tried the epi didn't work at all so it was natural. I tore a bit not much and I was 18 when I did it.
I personally think the more stressed you are about it the more its going to hurt. I went in with no expectations and was surprised how little the actual labor part of it hurt

 

[x__amour]

It really just depends on the person. I found it bearable but I didn't get to push because of my EMCS so I have no idea about that.

 

[Mypreciouskid]

Epidurals don't hurt, in comparison to contractions. Put off getting the epidural, if you can, and I can almost guarantee you won't even feel it. I was so elated to see the anesthesiologist (4 epidurals here). I won't lie...contractions hurt, and there is no perfect way to describe the pain. Just keep telling yourself that it's a natural process and you will get through it!!! Try to relax, and breathe...it really does help if you aren't tense.

Eta: I have had episiotomy (combined with a forward tear) and 2 natural tears, and there was no comparison! The tears healed sooo much better and were far less painful, in my experience!

 

[Courtcourt]

I cant speak for the labor itself, but I was kind of the same way and now that I am 39 weeks I don't care how bad it hurts. I want her OUT OUT OUT! So, I think your fears will ease a bit with time.

Also, were the opposite, I have many friends with children and they were all amazing births. One has 3 children, two have 2, 4-5 of them have one and the only thing that happened in any of them is one who opted for a birthing center water birth had to be sent to a hospital for a section due to cord wrapped, even then it was all fast and fairly pleasant. My fear is- SOMEBODY has to have a crappy labor, and all my friends have had amazing ones (none were in labor for more than 5 hours- NONE of them!!!!) and I am the only one left, and I have shitty luck. So, mine will probably be bad. Haha.

Once it is time for your epidural, you will probably welcome the needle. My MIL is a L&D nurse and sad lots of moms who have properly working epidurals can actually get some rest once they have the epidural in

Just go into it with an open mind, women have done it for thousands of years. My great gran did it 14 times in the 1920's and 30's! I can totally do this!

 

[madcatwoman]

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?

Having experienced a normal birth, if i could id opt for a section. my recovery too far long than friends who had sections, at 2 weeks they were getting on with life where as i couldnt even sit down till 5 weeks.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Noooo i dont think so, i had one, i tore but it was more due to a face presentation and forceps.

Does the epidural hurt????
nope not at all, not for me, best thing i did!

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

Afriad mine didnt go well, from the start i was induced at 42 weeks, i wont say anymore though lol!
i think the tearing depends on size of baby, intervention etc!

 

[SparkleBug]

It really just depends on the person. I found it bearable but I didn't get to push because of my EMCS so I have no idea about that.

What a CUTE little girl you have!!!!

 

[XxChristinexX]

my first was traumatic. To begin with it was ok,waters broke at midnight,went to hospital around 2am,contractions felt just like bad period pains,midwife examined me....which was not nice at all, and to everyone`s shock I was 7cm dilated,so was told another couple of hours baby will be here. It didn`t go that way at all, baby had turned & was back to back,he got stuck. The midwife kept trying to convince the doctors to intervene as I was exhausted and she was convinced no matter how hard I tried baby wasn`t going to budge. Doctors kept saying give her a little longer, in the end midwife told me to stop trying and finally they intervened!! An episiotomy was done and forceps used, baby was so stuck, when they pulled I was almost pulled off the bed, & I tore as well.

Baby was born at 4.10pm, after the birth baby was unwell & had to be taken for tests (spinal tap), they discovered I was a GBS carrier and LO had to stay in incubator on antibiotics for 5 days.

I am so terrified this time round, as I am now 38. Hoping history won`t repeat itself

 

[Mrs-C]

I was in hospital for four days before I had LO - I was induced twice & had next to no sleep while I was there.

My waters went on their own but I still was put on the hormone drip. I was knackered, stressed, worried (I had bad pre-eclampsia and was having to give birth early). I think all in all it meant I went in with a bad start! As I was on the drip I couldn't get out of bed, even to go to the loo.

I am sure water (pool, bath or shower) would help with the pain, as would walking around. I couldn't do any of that so can't comment!

I did not cope with the pain - but I think that was partly down to how tired I was. I DO NOT cope well when tired! I had a tough time after having LO, and lost half of my blood. I am so scared it would happen again and DH would miss the birth that next time I plan to have an epidural. I refused it over and over this time. In hindsight, I should have had it.

Good luck! Many women are fine - just remember you are more likely to hear about the horror stories, as you are more likely to hear complaints about a restaurant etc.

 

[Whatme]

Lol totally bare able, and totally do able! Since the Dawn of time.. You'll be fine.
I am woman hear me roar..

 

[Seity]

It's different for every woman. I don't doubt that some ladies experience a lot less and some a lot more pain than I did.
It was definitely not bearable for me. I went in with an open mind, but I had a fast labor and only 30 min in it was clear that I was just barely coping at it was about to get a hell of a lot worse. They kept telling us before hand about breathing through contractions and getting a break, well I didn't get a break. My contractions were one on top of the other to start with.
I got a walking epidural, which is a shot in the back in the same place you'd get the epidural catheter placed, except it's a one time dosage. It only lasts 2 hours, but I knew that was all I'd need because he's was coming fast. I was right.
If I had to do it again. I'd get the epidural or walking epidural the second I arrived at the hospital. It was brilliant. I was well rested and comfortable as soon as I got the drugs and able to relax and 'enjoy' the rest of the birth.
First time birther and it was a very straightforward birth that didn't need any intervention, so yes, it can and does happen.

 

[Eternal]

yeah I agree with its different for everyone, and your mental attitude, i had a 3rd degree epistomy, so i was in pain afterwards, but then i know people who make a huge deal out of it like it was the worse pain ever, again i know lots of ladies who had sections, some a week later you totally wouldnt know they has MAJOR surgery, yet other are still complaing now 3 years on!!! lol!

But i guess we all have different tolerances. My epistomy tore back open and then got infected, but i still got on with things.

Also I had my gallbladder removed while 17 weeks pregnant with these twins a few weeks ago, a friend also had hers done a week before, same surgeon, same surgery (mine was slightly more complicated and involved), i never even took a single painkiller where she was in agony.

So its different for everyone, my labour was managable, but i totally had meltdowns! I was tired (was awake for more than 48 hours) and like someone else said that doenst help. But the main problem was panicing! If i could have just relaxed a bit i know i would have been better, once i was in delivery (as opposed to the horrible labour ward) i coped so much better as the MW was always there and i knew if i needed to i could have pain releif.

Pain releif also works differently for everyone, i couldnt use gas and air, my epi failed, pethidine made me sleepy but def worked well for me, i was able to doze which im sure made a huge difference.

Just keep an open mind.

 

[Ashley2189]

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?

As far as Im aware, most doctors will not offer a section unless necessary. Id still avoid a c-section impossible, natural allows fluids to be squeezed out of baby for easier breathing =)

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?

Never heard of that.

Does the epidural hurt????

I would say its a little uncomfortable, but not at all painful. Then again, when I got mine I had already been in labor almost 24 hours and my contractions were only a minute apart, so I was concentrating on trying not to scream and squirm through contractions.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)

Yes they can go very well! A friend of mine gave birth a cpl weeks after me completely natural, no interventions, very fast labor and delivery, and said it barely hurt! (Im iincredibly jealous of anyone whose labor is less than 24 hrs, mine was over 34!)

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

I really wish I had done my kegals and especially perineal massage! I had an episiotomy which then tore further into a 3rd degree! I keep wondering if peri massage would have helped me to be able to stretch enough to get my baby out.(had a vacuum delivery because I just couldnt get her out, her head was too big for me! Good size baby at 8 lb 13 oz)