Labour! is it really THAT bad or bareable?

[Ashley2189]

Also, I labored at home for 18 hrs before I agreed to go to hospital. I think if my labor would have been shorter I could have definitely made it 100% natural nd totally bearable. It only became unbearable for me when I was almost 24 hrs into it, contractions lasting 30 sec, one minute apart from start of one to start of next, and only 2 cm dilated!!

 

[Kess]

Hi Ladies,

Im only 10 weeks pregnant but the fisrt thing I thought when i saw the "pregnant" on the test was: Oh *&(&!!! Im going to have to give birth!

Not a normal reaction! But since then I have tried to educate myself near to the point of being obsessed with it.

SO HERE`S MY QUESTIONS AND THE STUFF I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.. please put me out of my misery.

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Does the epidural hurt????
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

I just had my baby boy on Friday, so I can answer this truthfully without having forgotten anything! Here's a thread with my birth story in it: https://www.babyandbump.com/home-natural-birthing/688251-my-baby-arrived-fuller-birth-story-page-2-a.html

Elective C Section or Normal Birth?

Do you mean which one should you choose? I'd recommend a normal birth, honestly, c-section carries greater risks and a much harder and longer recovery.

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?

Yes, an epidural gives you a much bigger chance of tearing, as does lying on your back and instrumental interventions (forceps, etc) which are more likely with epidural.

Does the epidural hurt????

Never had one, can't answer that.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)

My baby was my first birth, and I'd say it went very well. I had no interventions, it was a home waterbirth. It was hard work, and yes it hurt, but contractions and crowning were all totally copeable with. The only stage where I thought "I can't do this" was a weird pain I got which I mentioned in my birth story, which apparently isn't common. My family were all there at the birth, and I didn't manage to put my sister off birth or homebirth, so it obviously wasn't too traumatic from the outside either!

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

Perineal massage has been proven to help reduce the incidence of tearing in first time mothers. Water birth, and giving birth in positions like all fours (NOT on your back) are both supposed to help too. And trying not to push too much/too early, just breathe through the contractions and they come on their own in a more controlled and slower way, which gives your skin time to stretch. I was terrified of the same, and I did tear, but tbh it wasn't anything like what I feared and I didn't even feel it.

HTH.

 

[xxEMZxx]

Of course its bearable, and not everyone's experience is awful!
My labour flew by tbh, waters went at 12am, contractions started at about 1-1.30am. Was sent home until about 5am when I was 3/cm but I didn't have any pain relief till about 10am when I was 5cm and I only had Gas and Air. Didn't need any intervention throughout. I did have a minor PPH after I gave birth but I was fine after they injected me to make the blood clot. All in all from established labour it was only 8hours. I did tear but only 1st degree, it didn't hurt at all when they stitched me up, although the first few times you go for a wee isn't a pleasant experience lol!

But I wouldn't be doing it again if it was that bad. I think the best thing is to be relaxed if you can and not worry, I went in not knowing what to expect but I just went with the flow.

 

[sugarcube84]

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth? I dont think you get a choice really, natural birth if all is well however if you need a c section because of some sort of problem then that will obviously be the best option in that situation. I wouldnt ever opt for a c section if there was no medical need due to increased risks for mum and baby and i dont think any doctor would give you one just because you wanted one. However before i get jumped on i do realise that in certain situations c sections are safer for mum and baby rather than a natural birth

If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing? Maybe slightly due to lying on your back which is the most common position for people who have had epidurals, there is research to say that it increases your risk of intervention such as a hormone drip to speed up contraction, ventouse, forceps again this could be due to the position you lie in (against gravity)

Does the epidural hurt???? Dont know i havent had one but my friend who had a c section said it was fine.

Does first time births ever go well without any intervention? Yes!!!! Read my birth story, i had a lovely labour and birth, went into labour naturally very slow easy start over a couple of days then my show and it started to build, in hospital for about 10 hrs before he was born and no pain relief other than tens and gas and air, and i really didint need anything else. Breathing really helps, as does stayd relaxed and focused.

Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp! i tore didnt feel it and healed really well, a lot of people recommend perineal massage.

Good luck and dont worry

 

[katy1310]

I was exactly the same as you - I have always had a massive fear of labour and giving birth! I remember talking to my sister in law a few weeks before I had Sophie, and she told me that the best piece of advice she was given was to remember that the fear of the pain prior to being in labour, and the fear of the unknown, is worse than the pain actually turns out to be (I hope that makes sense, the way I've put it!).

I can't comment on labour because I had an emergency c-section at 27 weeks, but I CAN tell you that an epidural doesn't hurt. I had a huge fear of that as well but all I felt was something cold on my back, a tiny scratch and a bit of pressure. The thing that scared me most at the time was being told not to move an inch while it was going in!

I wouldn't choose a c-section if I had the choice, but if you do have to have one, it's honestly not that scary. Having any kind of surgery is another major fear I've always had, and I was always even more scared of having a section than I was of a natural birth, but in the end it was ok. Yes it was sore for a few days afterwards and I did feel very weak and wobbly, but I was given plenty pain relief, and it gets dramatically better after about 3-4 days. I had been very ill as well though, before having the section, as I had severe pre eclampsia, so I wasn't feeling brilliant to start with!

If it wasn't for the fact that it might be dangerous for me to have another baby, I would do it again without hesitation - but I just don't think I could put another baby through what Sophie went through, and my own life was at risk as well so it's something we'd have to think long and hard about. The actual c section (and pregnancy - I was always terrified of being pregnant too but when I actually was, I loved every minute of it!) hasn't put me off doing it again.

Another friend kept reminding me that we are designed to carry babies and give birth to them

Hope you have a smooth pregnancy, labour and birth xxx

 

[Katie40]

Hi,

Throught my pregnancy i was terrified of giving birth, it stopped me enjoying being pregnant, but i can honestly say i loved giving birth! I found it barable, just remember every contraction brings ypu closer to meeting your baby. If i had a moment where i freaked out or had a panic, i told myself 'youve got a job to do, yes it hurts but moanong about the pain isnt going to make it any easier, so stop moaning and get on with it' i think a lot of it is in your frame of mind, stay focused and positive.

I got to 9cms on my own, i had gas and air for the last hour, pethadine for the last 30 mins to get me through pushing, because i knew they would take gas and air away!

Listen to your midwife, she will guide you so you dont tear xxx

 

[Lucy22]

Definitely bearable, if you have a positive attitude

I actually quite enjoyed my natural labor and can't wait to do it again in 5 weeks time

 

[Radiance]

I was terrified of labor but I actually enjoyed it!!!
Best experience in my life and it was all natural!
It took 3 hours, this was my first birth and it was so amazing! I loved it!
I can not wait for this one! and I also have bigger babies.


I had a normal birth although I was late so they had to break my water
and start my contractions,
I have never had an epidural so I can't answer that but I know that they
had to cut me, if they know you're going to tear than they should cut you.
When they cut you they usually numb it before cutting

 

[24/7]

Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
I had a natural delivery
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing? I had no epi and didn't tear
Does the epidural hurt????
N/A
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Mine was an amazing experience- A completely natural delivery with just some G&A at the begining the nothing at the end. I felt completely in control and just followed what my body was telling me.
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!
My MW said you have less risk of tearing without an epi - Mine was able to point to where I needed to push and tell me how hard and without the epi I was able to listen.

It was a completely pleasureable experience for me. It was long, 22 hours from start to finish, with 2.5 hours of pushing, but absolutely perfect and just the birth I planned and the pain completely manageable despite just water a G&A at the begining. My birth story has a link in my sig. xx

 

[Tulip]

The dilation part was very painful for me and I had half a shot of pethidine, but pushing and birth was not. I did have a third degree tear and have to go to theatre to have it repaired but that's because LO came out with his hand over his face - not the best use of the restricted space down there

it was an amazing experience though I think unless there is medical necessity the NHS won't give you an elective c/s, it is major abdominal surgery and for the most part recovery is much more difficult than with a vsginal delivery, even with a tear/cut.

I would say put it to one side and enjoy your pregnancy for now. As you progress, look up hypno-birthing and optimal positioning of baby to give yourself the best chance of a comfortable birth xx

 

[Lauraxamy]

You're getting a wonderful baby so it's deff bearable for that reason! It wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn't have an epidural just gas and air, I didn't feel the need for an epidural tbh. I was induced too which they say is more painful but I wouldn't know any difference, but to me it didn't seem THAT bad or as bad as people make out. You'll be fine

 

[prgirl_cesca]

I didn't have an epidural so can't comment on those, but just want to say don't be scared of tearing. I didn't have any pain meds (well, I had gas&air) and I had a 2nd degree tear but didn't actually feel my skin 'tearing' like you would imagine you would.

I found the pain bearable but obviously bloody painful! I had a super quick labour (2hrs) so I don't know if it was because the pain didn't go on for very long, however I was induced and had the hormone drip which makes contractions super intense.

 

[aliwnec10]

Hi Ladies,
Ellective C Section or Normal Birth?
If I have a epidural , do I have a bigger risk of tearing?
Does the epidural hurt????
Does first time births ever go well without any intervention?( Stupit question but I have not heard one positive story, all my friends said it was the most traumatic thing they have ever gone through)
Also I dont want to tear or be cut?? Any advice?? Im such a wimp!

1. I would definitely have a vaginal birth if given the choice. I had a vaginal birth and the recovery is so much easier than a c/s. I'm actually afraid of c/s's after seeing what my friends have gone through.
2. Having an epidural has no bearing on if you will tear.
3. The epidural did not hurt me at all. But i got it at 8cm's, so maybe that's why. My mind was preoccupied.
4. My first birth (and only birth so far) was honestly a piece of cake. It was fast. 7 hours start to finish of labor and delivery. I honestly thought the whole thing was rather easy, but i have a high threshold for pain. I really hope my next one goes the same way!!!!
5. why is being cut or tearing such a big deal to you? your body is going to do what it needs to do. You just need to let go and go with it. I tore naturally and i didn't feel it at all. I didn't have any problems and no complications after either.

 

[aggiepup05]

Oh..... I could well be pregnant and I have never given birth, I am PETRIFIED at the thought of it so I decided to read some stories and I don't know if I'm reassured lol, from what I gather from these ladies is just breathe, smile and relax, I am waiting to do a test so if I am I must be due around the same time as you, if i am, we can pm each other on here. I've just turned 19 and a right wuss myself with pain lol, stubbing my toe is the end of the world but I have asked many women how contractions and pushing feels. It sounds like as long as you stay calm it is bearable and like these ladies say, a baby at the end! I bet no matter how much you hurt, you will hold your baby and immediately say "I would do that again and more!" xxxxxx

 

[HollySSmith]

I had a long labour (33 hrs) but did it natural for the first 24, had an epi, but had it shut off after baby turned. My labour was painful, DS was posterior and stuck. The epi didn't hurt and I was having a contraction when it was being done. It only took to one side for me though so after DS turned I had them shut it off (my labour stalled as a result of the epi too, but luckily it picked back up once it was off). I took my time pushing (2hrs!) but I didn't tear! My mw don't do episiotomys if you are tearing (maybe if it was a serious tear) as A tear heals better and is usually less extensive than a episiotomy. Though I warned my mw that they were to just let me tear unless the baby was in distress.
I wouldn't say I found my birth traumatic. I would suggest perineal message and staying home as long as possible. Avoid a c-section if possible, the recovery is longer and harder.

 

[stacey&bump]

Hi hun congratulations ! I know u really cant help but worry and panic about labour but in my opinion i didnt think it was as bad as i was expecting. I know everyones different though. I had a normal birth , I found the contractions were sore but bearable with gas & air. I didnt have an epi but i have heard it can make the labour longer and a bigger chance of vaccum or forcep delivery. my birth went really well i didnt tear , I lay on my side to deliver my daughter and the sister of the labour ward who delivered my baby told me theres a less chance of tearing in this position so note that lol !

Good luck x

 

[ohbananas]

After the contractions started (I was induced), I wanted a c-section but ended up having a wonderfully easy natural birth. Would highly recommend it.
I never had an epidural, I was however given morphine to sleep as I was in early labor for 2 days and didn't sleep. Then when I was in active labor, I was given fentanyl.

To be perfectly honest, labor stinks, the back contractions I was having made me think my hips were going to shatter and my tailbone was going to break, I did however, make it through it. At 1:30 in the afternoon, I was 5 cm dialated and they broke my water, by 3:50 I was ready to push as I was fully dialated. At 3:55 my baby girl was born. Listen to them when they tell you to push. And when to breathe, and where to push. It is just like going poo. Just remember the more you listen, the better you push, the quicker all the pain is over.

I remember asking the nurse when she was telling me to push, if by pushing my tailbone would stop hurting. She said of course, well that was all the motivation I needed. I did indeed tear but to be honest baby just kinda slipped out, lol. I don't even remember the ring of fire, they just kept saying push through the pain, well do it. It makes things go fast! I had second degree tearing, they stitched me up, gave me a local anaesthetic for numbing and I was up and about 20 min later. The stitches were the worst on day 2, 3 ,and 4, then they kinda subside and now I can't even tell they are there.

I also remember screaming at the top of my lungs when I had to push the first 2 times. DON'T DO THAT! It exerts your energy to the wrong places. Just shut your mouth, hold your breath, and push.

All in all, its true, you forget the pain as soon as you see your little one.

 

[maisiemoo]

At the time, I thought labour was unbearable. Olivia was back to back and I had a lip in my cervix, so at 9cm she was stuck. All i wanted to do was push and I couldn't, well I was told not to. I can't describe how difficult and painful this was. However, in retrospect of course it was bearable, I did it, although I almost strangled my partner in the process lol It's amazing how much inner strength us women have and you'll cope xx

 

[bbyno1]

m being honest..I find it quite unbearable. Im quite scared for the birth of my next baby now BUT if it was that bad i wouldn't of got pregnant again. I only had Pethadine and was in labor for around 28 hours. I had a natural birth (close to a c section though as Aliyahs heartbeat was dropping). I listened to the midwife. When she said to push i did,i didn't push when i felt like it.
I didn't have any complications,no tears,grazes etc

 

[lolomom]

I did about half my labor naturally and then finally got an epidural. I have to say, I truly thought contractions wouldn't be "that bad" and I generally tolerate pain perfectly fine.....but after 6 hours of contractions every 3-4 minutes I was done. I also did not have a complication free delivery however.

I was 41 weeks pregnant when I finally starting having consistent contractions with my son. After having them fairly steady for most of a day, we finally decided to go to the hospital. The early contractions were fine, they felt like fairly moderate menstrual cramps, easy to walk and talk through. In fact, my husband and I went on a long walk to pass the time and hopefully progress things along. While in the hospital they checked me, found me 2 cm dilated, told me I was in "false labor" and sent me home. At that point the pain was intensifying and I was pretty uncomfortable. I was also pretty upset because I was a week overdue, and it certainly didn't feel like "false labor".

I spent the next 6 hours writhing on my bed with intense and awful contractions coming every 3 minutes, while my husband slept comfortably and I wanted to kill him. It was the middle of the night and I had no slept at all, so I was also exhausted. Finally, at 4 am, my water broke and we went back to the hospital. When we got there I was running a fever of 102 and was 4cm dilated. Apparently that was enough to let me stay.

At that point, I'd had it. I was exhausted and completely tired of dealing with the pain. I will be perfectly honest, I could have done it without drugs. However, I was no in the right frame of mind anymore, I was disgusted that they sent me home in the first place, and I was ready for relief. I got an epidural.

It was the most amazing thing in the world. Did not feel it going in, and within minutes the pain was gone. It did not slow my labor at all, it did not cause unusual or worse tearing, it did not make me require tools for delivery, it did not diminish my ability to push my son out. It was heaven. I slept, and talked, and joked throughout the labor. It was calm, no screaming, no pain.

I am not at all afraid of labor this time around because I know I have the epidural option. But truthfully, yes, labor sucks. Its painful, its hard. It's also completely do-able, and no matter what, you'll be fine. Good luck and best wishes