Leaving a 6 week old with grandparents overnight....

[SaraEmily]

I had almost a full night night away from my LO at a young age... but every weekend just seems like a lot IMO.

I hope you didn't think I meant anything was wrong with that. That's perfectly fine, just (imo) not an every weekend thing.

 

[SaraEmily]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

Yes, and having 'two homes' has been proven detrimental in a lot of cases. Idk, it just makes me wonder why people have children if they refuse to give up their previous life.

Also, I'm only 21 myself, and when I hear/read about young parents going out too much, it pisses me off because I feel like it makes all of us young parents look bad.

 

[sevenofnine]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

Likening it to a child that has two "homes" when the parents split puts a bad taste in my mouth. Obviously that is best for some families out of necessity, but why offer a similar situation if you don't have to?

I guess if they, the parents, and the LO is fine with the arrangement, then there really isn't an issue.

 

[rjm09]

It took 3 yrs and an emergency for me to agree on an overnight with my son!
I just will not do it. We've had them watch him for a few hours while we went out, even having a few drinks out, we were still able to come pick him up. We can still go out and do couple things.

If you need the sitter for partying, what's to say you're going to be the best parent the next morning with a hangover?

Dd is 9m, and have been asked for the overnight. There's just no reason to! I'm the parent, I agreed to a lifetime responsibility, even if that means giving up "couple time" with dh.

 

[sevenofnine]

I had almost a full night night away from my LO at a young age... but every weekend just seems like a lot IMO.

I hope you didn't think I meant anything was wrong with that. That's perfectly fine, just (imo) not an every weekend thing.

No! Not at all, I was just saying that obviously I understand that sometimes after just having a baby, a little "you" time is needed!

And although my mum and pops would (gladly) take her for me every week or weekend if I wanted it, it just doesn't seem right to me? Once again, it's just my opinion based off my life. Obviously I don't know the OP so it may be different.

Because... of course I would LOVE to go out weekends and party and hang out with all my friends... but I don't. Besides, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for that when she's older and can tell me she wants to go by a friend or grandma and grandpa (who will surely spoil her).

 

[sam2eb]

I left my now 2 year old with my mum for overnights from she was 4 days old!

It stopped when she was about 8 weeks old because she began to kick off a lot there, like she just wanted to be home, and she hasn't stayed over anywhere since.

I don't see anything wrong with what your planning at all!

 

[HanaK]

Nothing wrong with it. We left our LO for one night at 4 weeks and recently at 11 weeks. My BIL and SIL have always let their kids have sleepovers and their three are chilled out, happy and confident little boys. Do what you feel is right. Your baby will suffer no adverse effects either way. In fact, he won't even remember!

 

[HanaK]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

Yes, and having 'two homes' has been proven detrimental in a lot of cases. Idk, it just makes me wonder why people have children if they refuse to give up their previous life.

Also, I'm only 21 myself, and when I hear/read about young parents going out too much, it pisses me off because I feel like it makes all of us young parents look bad.

This is a bit ridiculous. Not all of us are Mother Earths who don't want to spend one night in adult company for months and months. Having the odd night away is surely healthier than wishing you could and being unhappy. If you don't want to fine but there's absolutely nothing wrong with needing a little down time.

You can't equate the odd night away to parents being out all the time.

 

[SaraEmily]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

Yes, and having 'two homes' has been proven detrimental in a lot of cases. Idk, it just makes me wonder why people have children if they refuse to give up their previous life.

Also, I'm only 21 myself, and when I hear/read about young parents going out too much, it pisses me off because I feel like it makes all of us young parents look bad.

This is a bit ridiculous. Not all of us are Mother Earths who don't want to spend one night in adult company for months and months. Having the odd night away is surely healthier than wishing you could and being unhappy. If you don't want to fine but there's absolutely nothing wrong with needing a little down time.

You can't equate the odd night away to parents being out all the time.

When did I say months and months? The odd night away is fine. But the OP isn't talking about the odd night away, she wants to do it every weekend.

 

[kates84]

I couldn't even imagine leaving LO for a few hours at that age, much less over night. I have to agree with the other posters, every weekend is excessive. I know you're young, but parenting is a full time job, and you can't really have the best of both worlds. Sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you, just giving an opinion.

Why not if everyone is happy with the arrangement?
It's not for me but we don't know ops circumstances. Lots of children have two 'homes' when their parents split. This isn't really any different

Yes, and having 'two homes' has been proven detrimental in a lot of cases. Idk, it just makes me wonder why people have children if they refuse to give up their previous life.

Also, I'm only 21 myself, and when I hear/read about young parents going out too much, it pisses me off because I feel like it makes all of us young parents look bad.

Slightly off topic, but when I hear people say "oh they are young" as a reason why other people need more breaks, I get a little......annoyed isn't the right word, but I certainly feel it feeds in to the stereotype.

The vast majority of the "young" parents I know in person are just as likely as the "older" parents I know to require a crow bar to separate them from their children. They would look perplexed at someone suggesting that they need more relief than an older person.

Not aimed at the OP or anyone in this thread at all. But SaraEmily - no, you shouldn't have a bad name hon

 

[Noelle610]

Hmm.... Well, I love the odd night away and I think that's healthy. But every weekend sounds excessive to me. Does one or both of you work? If so, you may find you really cherish that weekend time with LO as they get older.

 

[jessicatunnel]

She never said anything about partying by the way. "Meeting friends" can mean going shopping, getting a bite to eat, getting coffee, going to a movie. Doesn't always mean partying.

I wouldn't do it though. Six weeks seems far too young to leave a baby overnight. We haven't left Lilly overnight and she's fourteen months.

 

[sevenofnine]

She never said anything about partying by the way. "Meeting friends" can mean going shopping, getting a bite to eat, getting coffee, going to a movie. Doesn't always mean partying.

No, she didn't say she was partying. I added that in... oops. But regardless of what she's doing, being away every weekend seems like a lot.

 

[fannyadams]

I don't think it has anything to do with age.
Some people are comfortable with it, others aren't.
I've seen plenty of posts on here over the months where people's lo's spent overnight with their grandparents weekly.
Again, it's not something I personally would feel comfortable with but I bet there's lots of things I do feel comfortable with that others don't.
The child is loved and looked after. What's the problem?

 

[SaraEmily]

I think people assumed they would be out late partying because of the overnight part. Getting coffee or a bite to eat wouldn't require that, but who knows. We shouldn't assume anything.

 

[smallpeanut]

I chose to have my daughter, I'll take responsibility of my daughter. Then only time I'll give her up for the night is when I need a night off or me and oh have a rare night planned. Don't get me wrong, some times I appreciate the time away but I'd rather her be gone for a few hours in the day than the whole night. I find it harder to relax.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think if you feel comfortable with it, your parents feel comfortable with it and are well enough to care for a new baby, and your baby seems to adjust to it fine and without any problems cropping up, then I don't see any problems with it.

Me personally, I couldn't do it. I've only left my daughter with anyone but my husband once since she was born. My mom came to visit from the U.S. and watched her while we had lunch at the pub about a 30 second walk from our house. I lasted about 1.5 hours before I cried and had to come home. That said, I don't especially trust either of our sets of parents to watch her anyway, at least not as a baby. Husband's mum and partner would probably just leave her to cry in a room somewhere while they drank wine and ignored her (they don't really like kids). And my mom, she's great, but she's just getting a little too old to be on point all the time with a tiny baby. I'm hoping when our daughter is older and more self-sufficient, I'll feel differently, but for now, I'm not comfortable with it.

But I think we have to keep in mind that it's an incredible luxury in our culture to be able to spend so much time with our children. There are many people (especially in the U.S. where I'm from) who are back to work full-time, even having to go away on business trips, from 6 weeks pp. If I still lived there, I would have had to and would have spent very little time each week with my new baby. Not saying it's ideal, but it's reality. I'd say certainly an overnight with grandparents once a week while spending the rest of the week close to mum is better than having to put your 6 week old in childcare 40 hours a week, which is what most of my U.S. friends have had to do. I know people have to do it and it's often not a choice, but I'd still feel more comfortable with one than the other at that age. And there are plenty of cultures where grandparents co-parent and are even primary caregivers while parents work or live away. Maybe that's not ideal for some people, but I don't think it's terribly damaging either.

You know what feels right for you and your family and no one should tell you how to parent. I think enjoy your night out. We've not had one yet and I wish we could!

 

[minties]

For me it would bé weird, I just can't imagine it. I've only been away from my son at night when I was in hospital having Sophie, and hé stayed at home with his dad.

 

[TryinFor1]

I can see it both ways but I don't think its a big deal if everyone is happy. I wasn't a baby when this happened, but when I was 2+ I would spend up to a couple weeks with my Grammy. I LOVED it. I missed my mom, sure. But I got spoilt rotten! I know who my mom is and I love her to death. And I know who my grandmother is who I also love to death. We were all happy with that situation. And it happened all the time.

Now, personally, I wouldn't do that. Ds has stayed away from me once at 4 months and will be again next month at 7.5 months. I do get away, or try to, once a week to my friends house but that doesn't happen very often. But I can't expect it to with a child. He has to come first.

I don't think you are a bad parent and he will absolutely know who you are. I don't necessarily agree with the amount of time away but that is just because that isn't for me. And as another poster said, he really won't remember. Lol

 

[aliss]

Urgh, I hate to say it but I wonder if the assumption of partying is because she admitted they were young parents ??

Anyways, do what works for you and your family. I would not leave my baby overnight because my FIL is 70 and has had multiple cardiac surgeries, I don't want to be responsible for my kids pushing him past the brink

But if your parents are capable (and I'm guessing if you are young, so are they), and you are comfortable with it, then go ahead and do what you feel is best. Don't be pressured into it, but don't be pressured out of it, if it is what you want.