Leaving a 6 week old with grandparents overnight....

[tinytabby]

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

 

[staralfur]

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

Agree. I think even if the baby is planned and you've read every book and babysat your nieces/nephews, and worked at a daycare... you're never going to realize what an impact having your own baby will have on your life.

 

[Dk1234]

My friend does this to go out and I find it really bad when I think about it. But maybe it's because I am not confident enough to do the same and I'm jealous of all her time, who knows. But regardless, who cares what anyone on here thinks. I guarenttee my friend could care less what I think about her doing it. She still has a very active social life and seems pretty happy about it.

 

[beth_terri]

I wish someone would take my kids for a night to give me and my oh a date night. We went out for a meal on valentines day leaving the kids for about 2 hours but we havent had a night without them since before my 1 year old was born. But every weekend? And from 6 weeks? Not for me! I'm a young mum of 2 but just don't have the sort of family that like to help out.

My oh used to go to his grandparents every weekend. What he remembers is spending all week at school, then the weekends at his grandparents. He doesn't remember spending much quality time with his parents.

But I guess as the parents it's your choice to do what you're comfortable with.

 

[Scottish mum]

Sorry I don't think it's anything to do with how well you've settled into motherhood I think it just depends on you as a couple!

We leave lo once every two months overnight sometimes twice depending on plans.

You know what if the op wants a night out to party so what!! Just because she's a mum she's can't be out with friends. I'm crazed as some of the replies haha I mean there was only a post on here the other day about mums trying to out do and not support one another, now some are challenging why you shouldn't leave your lo!

There are extremes of course, there are people who do take the piss and maybe it's a child welfare thing, but to have a night off does not mean your not taking to motherhood lol. My god!

 

[kissesandhugs]

I hate even leaving my baby for 2 hours with her grandparents (and not because I don't trust them), that's just me. They offered at 6 weeks many times while I was in the province visiting but I said hell no. She still hasn't been away from me overnight (or longer than 3 hours). Do what u need to do... Were u ready for a baby? Guess it's none of my business...

prime example. Rude...

 

[Scottish mum]

Metal maiden what!!!! I can't believe what I'm reading! Are you for real! My lo was planned we have good jobs and a good home to raise him oh and he's spoilt rotten by the way but you know what... There are times when you need adult time to have a glass of wine and catch up, but not that I need to explain myself but I for one would never say to you that there's something not right with you as your not having any time out!

You must be a cave woman lol

 

[Dk1234]

I hate even leaving my baby for 2 hours with her grandparents (and not because I don't trust them), that's just me. They offered at 6 weeks many times while I was in the province visiting but I said hell no. She still hasn't been away from me overnight (or longer than 3 hours). Do what u need to do... Were u ready for a baby? Guess it's none of my business...

prime example. Rude...

Yeah I agree this is rude. Maybe she was t ready for a baby. I wasn't ready to have 2 but life happens. I don't think not being able to leave your child is any healthier than leaving them once a week. This comes from someone who is that way. I have issues leaving my son. Even now heavily pregnant I could probably really use some alone time but I won't do it. That doesn't make me a super mom, that makes me a little anxious. Either way, different things work for different people. I agree the OP should just see how it goes before you make it an every week thing, but geese some people think they are such amazing mothers.

 

[readytotry]

I agree kissesandhugs. So far it has been suggested that the OP has PND and wasn't ready to have children just because she wants to spend one evening a week with her partner whilst her child is cared for by loving grandparents. Really?!?

 

[onetwothreebp]

Don't forget she wants to party too!! Lol

Sometimes you're NOT ready for a baby but you still have. I had been married for less than 2 years when I accidentally got pregnant. Was I ready for a baby? No. Was I ready for an abortion? No. Was I ready for adoption? No.

Sometimes you have to do things you aren't ready for sooner than you plan and if you have a great support system around you to help you, that's even better.

 

[beth_terri]

I'm just jealous, no one wants my kids

 

[_jellybean_]

Seriously, what's the big deal? OP, do what's right for you.

I went out a couple of days after I brought my baby home. I went to lunch with my husband. I would read then about how there are a lot of mothers who don't like to leave baby, and I would feel guilty. Everyone is different. I do agree that once you start going out and leaving lo for the night, that you might miss lo, and maybe not want to go as often, but I really don't think it's a big deal if you go out once a week.

Do what feels right to you.

 

[readytotry]

Me neither. When she was a cute newborn maybe but as a marauding toddler, not so much.

 

[Dk1234]

And let's face it, if some couples spent a little more alone time with each other maybe there would be fewer divorces. I don't think my husband and I need this, but we'd be better off if we had it, I wish I could leave my son a little more.

A healthy family dynamic is important too. Not suggesting you have to have weekly dates to get it but I bet some relationships would benefit

 

[fieryphoenix]

I definitely wouldn't leave my lo with my parents every weekend, he's my kid/responsibility not theirs! IMO

 

[Scottish mum]

Yeh to right, enjoy! Baby appreciates a stress free mum! Plus it's all exciting seeing them in the morning : )

 

[onetwothreebp]

And let's face it, if some couples spent a little more alone time with each other maybe there would be fewer divorces. I don't think my husband and I need this, but we'd be better off if we had it, I wish I could leave my son a little more.

A healthy family dynamic is important too. Not suggesting you have to have weekly dates to get it but I bet some relationships would benefit

Yeah I had to roll my eyes at a poster saying they agreed to a lifetime responsibility, even if that meant giving up couple time with her husband. Good thing you can be a wife and mom at the same time and succeed at both!!!

 

[Dk1234]

And let's face it, if some couples spent a little more alone time with each other maybe there would be fewer divorces. I don't think my husband and I need this, but we'd be better off if we had it, I wish I could leave my son a little more.

A healthy family dynamic is important too. Not suggesting you have to have weekly dates to get it but I bet some relationships would benefit

Yeah I had to roll my eyes at a poster saying they agreed to a lifetime responsibility, even if that meant giving up couple time with her husband. Good thing you can be a wife and mom at the same time and succeed at both!!!

I agree. being a good wife can in turn make you a good mommand other way stound. Last I checked marriage is a lifetime commitment too. At least to me. Different things work for different people. And even some people may not personally ever do this, to suggest you aren't a good parent if you do is so silly z.

 

[sevenofnine]

I agree kissesandhugs. So far it has been suggested that the OP has PND and wasn't ready to have children just because she wants to spend one evening a week with her partner whilst her child is cared for by loving grandparents. Really?!?

The only reason I asked if she had PND was because she mentioned feeling resentful of her LO. I was truly curious. PND is no good! And although missing your old life is VERY normal, having extreme feelings of resentment isn't.

So I certainly didn't mean to suggest that she had PND.



This is what she said:

Goodness, I didn't think it would be so controversial! I guess I wanted reassurance to be honest, but not so. Partying, perhaps some nights, but definitely I'll have a few glasses of wine, even if at home, and I'd rather not look after my son intoxicated. I love my son dearly but don't want to resent him because I feel trapped and long for parts of my old life I lost. Having a child has overwhelmed me more than anything ever has! Don't know if it makes a difference but mthe grandparents live 4 doors down, so not far....anyway, I feel bad now, perhaps I won't leave him?

She clarified afterwards and said she didn't mean it like it sounded.

 

[MetalMaiden]

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

Agree. I think even if the baby is planned and you've read every book and babysat your nieces/nephews, and worked at a daycare... you're never going to realize what an impact having your own baby will have on your life.

I hear what you guys are saying, and I really don't want to get into a debate about individuals interpretations because we all are different... but personally, I was ready for a baby, (and I had never worked at a daycare or babysat too often ect) and it has been challenging at times, but I was ready for it. To endure it, to experience it and to grow from it. I had an idea what I was getting into, I wanted it and was ready for it. thats my two bits on that, unrelated to OP post... i know there are lots of situations where babies may be surprises and parents aren't ready and they cope but yeah... I do believe one can definitely be ready for a baby...