Leaving a 6 week old with grandparents overnight....

[Scottish mum]

I think it sounds like a confidence issues to me that's all, she's happy leaving lo once in a while but maybe feels presure when she's on bnb and reads comments from mother Teresa's who know all about motherhood!

 

[feedindy]

So what if she does party when the kid's asleep? BFD. The kid is asleep.

Not all mom's resign to granny panties, mom jeans, play groups, and that's it. lol she just wants a little fun like Snooki. Snooki is a mom too.

Ok I am just trying to lighten the mood and be funny, but seriously, her baby is staying 4 doors down with grandparents. No big whoop. So if the baby just stayed there one night a week and she went to sleep instead of going out, would that make people happier? Who cares what she does in her "me" time.

 

[xolynn]

Wow, I feel really bad for the OP. This thread should be closed in my opinion. And to the OP: Do what feels right to you, if you need a night once a week than go for it! I certainly enjoy getting my "me" time and wish me and OH could get more couple time but we work conflicting schedules. I'd say you have every right to need a night away from baby care...it gets SO overwhelming at times and nobody out there whos honest could disagree with how hard it can be and how much you really need time away.

 

[Dk1234]

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

I'll bet nobody is really truly ready for a baby!

Agree. I think even if the baby is planned and you've read every book and babysat your nieces/nephews, and worked at a daycare... you're never going to realize what an impact having your own baby will have on your life.

I hear what you guys are saying, and I really don't want to get into a debate about individuals interpretations because we all are different... but personally, I was ready for a baby, (and I had never worked at a daycare or babysat too often ect) and it has been challenging at times, but I was ready for it. To endure it, to experience it and to grow from it. I had an idea what I was getting into, I wanted it and was ready for it. thats my two bits on that, unrelated to OP post... i know there are lots of situations where babies may be surprises and parents aren't ready and they cope but yeah... I do believe one can definitely be ready for a baby...

I was 27 and married and tried for a year. I was ready for a baby but then again you never know how your life will change. You may know it'll be work but you can never anticipate the love you'll have for that lo or the frustration and guilt that comes with motherhood sometimes.

 

[fieryphoenix]

The op asked for thoughts, she asked if it was bad parenting. She got a variety of opinions. Why do you feel bad for her?

 

[aliss]

I was ready for a baby that slept and didn't screech all firkin night and didn't drink milk without vomiting on the wall for a year too

But sometimes life hands you something you didn't expect!

This isn't a coping issue, I think she just wants to have a few drinks and eat some food at a restaurant. I struggled with coping but that doesn't mean she does. Live & let live. She isn't going to leave the baby with a scary-looking hobo, it's just the grandparents.

 

[Larkspur]

OP, I say if you're comfortable with it and your parents are happy, then there's really no big problem with one night out a week as far as I can see.

I would just make your parents aware that the arrangement isn't set in stone because you might find that as baby gets a bit older, you actually don't want to spend that much time away/out, or LO might become harder to leave (separation anxiety can kick in, or they can become a tough sleeper). You don't want your parents to feel they're being deprived of time with LO that has become "theirs" if that happens.

I don't know what the situation with your inlaws is, but you also might just want to check in with them and make sure they aren't going to feel that your parents are getting priority with LO, or that they should be entitled to equal time. One night a week with LO away might suit you just fine but if your inlaws start wanting their own night with LO every week, you might find that rather a lot of time out.

 

[babyblog]

Sorry I don't think it's anything to do with how well you've settled into motherhood I think it just depends on you as a couple!

We leave lo once every two months overnight sometimes twice depending on plans.

You know what if the op wants a night out to party so what!! Just because she's a mum she's can't be out with friends. I'm crazed as some of the replies haha I mean there was only a post on here the other day about mums trying to out do and not support one another, now some are challenging why you shouldn't leave your lo!

There are extremes of course, there are people who do take the piss and maybe it's a child welfare thing, but to have a night off does not mean your not taking to motherhood lol. My god!

I'd agree with this. People often say "well if you need a break and you feel better for it then its ok". When we leave our kids at my parents it's not because we need a break, it's because we want one! There doesn't necessarily have to be a reason or excuse.of course, now my oldest is 3.5 and he asks to go on sleepovers round there so the decision will be taken out your hands at some point

Some people don't have social lives, don't want social lives or are happy to do things that constantly involve baby. Some don't. I too, dnt thnk it has anything to do with readiness to be a parent , just depends what your interests were/ are. If you were never a big drinker and enjoyed going out then of course you won't miss it like other people ( I like drinking ). I see it quite a lot on here that mums like to just stay at home , so those parents I presume may be the ones not wanting their children to go on sleepovers.your life doesn't stop when you become a parent, it changes and you change with it but you can maintain your interests and hobbies if you want to ( and are lucky enough to have someone to care for your child).

 

[Scottish mum]

Haha I know you would think her lo was being left with Americas most wanted!

When it comes to parenting you will always get folks disagreeing!

"Personally" lol it's all about survival and I think a night away to reboot is fab! Go for it! Good job half the folk here are not social work!! Can you imagine!

 

[broodyhen]

It's such an adjustment and everyone handles it differently. I felt over whelmed at first but glad I didn't rush to get a baby sitter. At 6 weeks I am glad to say I spent every moment attached (literally) to my LO. It's not for everyone I know. My LO is 10 months now and I haven't left him for more than 3-4 hours. It depends entirely on your circumstances. My SIL left her baby one night a week and it worked fabulously for her and LO. I BF and co-sleep so really don't think anyone else could have him overnight. I have time for all that in the future.

 

[MetalMaiden]

I BF and co-sleep so really don't think anyone else could have him overnight. I have time for all that in the future.

yup, same here!

 

[Wobbles]

Locked for review purely based on the amount of reported posts/concerns.