Letting GO is Hard To DO

[jaytee146]

how do you let go when you're still hurting?

I feel myself get angry when he calls, the sound of his voice sends me in to a rage beyond anything I've ever seen... I literally let him bring the worse out in me.. and I've even said some unlady like language around my lo which I said I'd never do.

I'm still angry about how he did me.. and not that he's gotten his court date he wants to call and ask how she's doing and try to hold small talk. I'm to bitter and upset to do so. Idk why I can't let this go.. and to be honest I don't know how. It'll be a year in may since I've seen him and It's still too soon! I even see him in my dreams.

I know i shouldn't, but I dislike him so much I'm afraid of what will happen at the up coming court date!

I don't want to feel this way about another human, nor allow anyone to control my attitude towards them. at least I've finally stopped crying when I think about all the old stuff we use to do.. maybe that's why.. I don't think i've let go of what use to be..........

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[george83]

i know exactly how you feel, my husband has been so horrible to me since the day i told him i was pregnant and in the 16 months since i can literally only think of one happy day we've had together and that isn't even the day our son was born because he wasn't there for that. but i get so upset thinking about how happy we were together we spent 7 and a half years together and i stupidly thought we were happy for most of that time. i can't stand the thought of him laying in his new girlfriend's bed cuddling up to her while i'm here up every hour in the night with a baby who won't settle. i literally feel like my heart is breaking but i don't know why. he's been horrible i know we're better off without him but i physically can't bare it xxxx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

you seem quiet upset/angry hun. Unfortunately, FOB's do generally bring out the worst in us so don't feel bad on that part. I'm sure we've all said a few things (whether infront of our LO's or not) that we never expected to say.

I wouldn't even contact him until the court date. Don't know the background but you said since he found out the date he tries asking how she is m.. Was he not interested before? If not, don't give him the satisfaction of being in contact with you & just wait till the court date xx

 

[jaytee146]

i know exactly how you feel, my husband has been so horrible to me since the day i told him i was pregnant and in the 16 months since i can literally only think of one happy day we've had together and that isn't even the day our son was born because he wasn't there for that. but i get so upset thinking about how happy we were together we spent 7 and a half years together and i stupidly thought we were happy for most of that time. i can't stand the thought of him laying in his new girlfriend's bed cuddling up to her while i'm here up every hour in the night with a baby who won't settle. i literally feel like my heart is breaking but i don't know why. he's been horrible i know we're better off without him but i physically can't bare it xxxx

that's exactly how i feel! i sometimes have a fixation on the few and far between happy times. I know he doesn't want her and although i put up a huge front for other's it breaks my heart. for those years we were together i dreamed of having his child and being a family after we were suppose to get married but it's like i found out everything was a big lie all at once.

 

[george83]

i know exactly how you feel, my husband has been so horrible to me since the day i told him i was pregnant and in the 16 months since i can literally only think of one happy day we've had together and that isn't even the day our son was born because he wasn't there for that. but i get so upset thinking about how happy we were together we spent 7 and a half years together and i stupidly thought we were happy for most of that time. i can't stand the thought of him laying in his new girlfriend's bed cuddling up to her while i'm here up every hour in the night with a baby who won't settle. i literally feel like my heart is breaking but i don't know why. he's been horrible i know we're better off without him but i physically can't bare it xxxx

that's exactly how i feel! i sometimes have a fixation on the few and far between happy times. I know he doesn't want her and although i put up a huge front for other's it breaks my heart. for those years we were together i dreamed of having his child and being a family after we were suppose to get married but it's like i found out everything was a big lie all at once.

i had a major breakdown about it all last night and my mum ended up staying the night with me literally becuase i couldn't stop crying and that was because i started admitting to people that we weren't together anymore but they were only strangers. I have point blank lied to people for so long pretending that were are this happy new family that i can not even imagine how hard it's going to be to start telling my friends and extended family the truth. Every time i think about it i get so upset. we were married less than 3 years and just a couple of months after our first wedding anniversary he was seeing this new girlfriend behind my back at a time that i honestly thought we were still so happy, it was before i was even pregnant. i can not stand the thought of people knowing that he doesn't want me anymore. In some ways i've found it easier keeping this front up rather than admitting the truth. my husband has now packed and left the area and isn't close to his family and he's self employed so changes jobs all the time so he doesn't have to face any of this while i'm left to deal with everything facing collegues family and friends and i just wish i could hide from it all still

 

[jaytee146]

i know exactly how you feel, my husband has been so horrible to me since the day i told him i was pregnant and in the 16 months since i can literally only think of one happy day we've had together and that isn't even the day our son was born because he wasn't there for that. but i get so upset thinking about how happy we were together we spent 7 and a half years together and i stupidly thought we were happy for most of that time. i can't stand the thought of him laying in his new girlfriend's bed cuddling up to her while i'm here up every hour in the night with a baby who won't settle. i literally feel like my heart is breaking but i don't know why. he's been horrible i know we're better off without him but i physically can't bare it xxxx

that's exactly how i feel! i sometimes have a fixation on the few and far between happy times. I know he doesn't want her and although i put up a huge front for other's it breaks my heart. for those years we were together i dreamed of having his child and being a family after we were suppose to get married but it's like i found out everything was a big lie all at once.

i had a major breakdown about it all last night and my mum ended up staying the night with me literally becuase i couldn't stop crying and that was because i started admitting to people that we weren't together anymore but they were only strangers. I have point blank lied to people for so long pretending that were are this happy new family that i can not even imagine how hard it's going to be to start telling my friends and extended family the truth. Every time i think about it i get so upset. we were married less than 3 years and just a couple of months after our first wedding anniversary he was seeing this new girlfriend behind my back at a time that i honestly thought we were still so happy, it was before i was even pregnant. i can not stand the thought of people knowin that he doesn't want me

 

[jaytee146]

i'm so sorry! i know how you feel i swear. some day's are better and other day's i barely want to get out of bed. i know facing reality isn't easy Heck i haven't even fully dealt with it. i find it easier to help other's and keep busy opposed to dealing with my emotions. i'm thinking i might try to reach out for someone to talk to. i know pinning my emotions up will only eventually leads to problem's

 

[Rhio92]

I don't have any advice sorry, I keep thinking I've finally let go, but then realise I haven't and that it still hurts. We're aboit 17 months on since splitting (but it wasn't a clean split, long story) x

 

[Jinty]

Maybe get him to text you instead of call? Then you don't get to hear him. Haha.