laylasmommy
Mother of 1
- Joined
- May 15, 2010
- Messages
- 22
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OK so the day I turned 27 weeks the father of my child broke up with me. I'm 20 about to be 21 in December, and he just turned 19. We have been talking since November and actually got together in December. Not long after that I found out I was pregant. He was happy at first and we couldn't be happier.
We both had to go on to christmas break though and we were so infatuated with each other at that point. When we came back to school for the spring semester we moved in together at the fraternity house. Well things were going great for a while, and I really started to feel the pregnancy though. I had bad morning sickness and I felt so tired all the time. This made me become lazy and all I wanted to do was stay in bed. I also didn't really take good care of myself at first, I wasn't wearing makeup or anything and my friends said I looked like death lol but I soon got over that and started getting myself back together. The tiredness never went away though.
He asked me to change some things in me and make myself more likeable for myself and I tried I really did. I went on spring break and totally got a make over and started picking everything up and cleaning and stuff...We kept getting into stupid fights though. I know I got mad for no reason and seemed to always have an attitude and I got mad at him right before spring break because he didn't spend our last night with me, he went over to a friends house and partied. Well we worked on things and he said he liked how I was picking myself up...but then things got really rocky. He started to flirt with this girl a lot and at first I ignored it because he just has a flirty personality but then every time I turned around they were together. I told him that I was uncomfortable and that I felt like a third wheel around them and he told me they were just friends. When I brought it up it came down to him saying that I didn't trust him. I did, but I didn't trust her...I told her my concerns too and we talked it out and worked on our friendship.
Well shortly after I told him my feelings we got into a big fight and everytime we fought he would always say he was tired of repeating himself and that he was done. Not done with us just done with the fight. I didn't know what to do and he told me he didn't love me the same. He said he still liked me so we agreed to try and make it work until December and this happened near the first of May. It really left us with four days to try and get a spark back though. That wasn't a lot of time to try and work on anything. I tried to better myself and tried to become the person he fell for in the first place. On our last night together we went to Walmart and shopped and ate dinner together and then we had sex later that night. That morning we both got up and got ready so I could take him to his final exam which ended up getting cancelled. I was going to meet his mom and his sister later that day because they were picking up his things. I met them and they were really nice, and we didn't hate each other. They gave us a few minutes to say goodbye and he gave me a hug and kissed me.
I went home the same day and the next went out with my mom. She bought me some stuff for our room and I texted him and was like, I love you and told him everything my mom got. He asked me why I loved him and I told him it was because he was patient with me when I didn't deserve it and all of this other stuff. It was hard for me to explain because Ijust felt it in my heart. Then the blow came. He told me he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore and that he liked this other girl that I had always had suspiscions about. Well she has a boyfriend but also likes my now ex boyfriend. He told her not to break up with her boyfriend for him. He said nothing will happen between them while she's still in a relationship though. He has also told me that right now he's not looking for a relationship with me or anyone else. He waited until college let out for the semester to do it though, and waited till I got home. He lives in Arkansas and I live in Texas. Well he did say he still wants to be friends and stay in our childs life....but I'm scared he's going to leave.
The girl he currently has feelings for is moving into the same frat house as us and neither him nor me can afford to get seperate rooms right now. I told my mom what happend and she said she could come up with money and just kick him out and he can figure out everything on his own. I really don't want to do that to him because his gpa wasn't so high for the last few semesters and he lost his financial aid. That's going to put him in an even bigger bind.
In my heart I'm hoping that staying in the same room come July will bring us back together but I really don't know what his plans are now that the other girl is moving in as well. We agreed to stay in the same room for now though.
Before we ended our breakup conversation we clarified that he doesn't do breaks but we are over for now unless something changes between now and when school starts back. He told me that we didn't have to change our facebook status' for now either, I told him I couldn't handle telling everyone what happened right now. Of course when we break up everyone is going to see me as the victim in this and I feel like I am, but I don't want our friends hating him. Sometimes I feel like he deserves it though. I asked him a few days ago to consider seeing where we are at when a summer camp rolls around where we are both working at, and then from there just see how things are going when school starts back. I think things are going to get better for me once the baby is born because I will gain that motherly instinct, but he thinks they will just get worse. But he told me he won't make any promises to make it work but just see how things are going.
The only problem with the summer camp thing is that the girl that he currently has feelings for is going to be there too. I contacted the camp director and told him what was going on and he said he would try his best to keep them apart because he doesn't want to see me get stressed while there.
I'm picking him up for the camp though so we can still talk about birthing plans and stuff...and he said ok. I'm hoping that the few weeks apart right now will help me grow and him as well. I also plan on kinda seducing him with pheramones when he gets in the car...like I have this perfume that has them in there so I'm hoping that will work. Plus I'm picking him up two days before the camp so we can get wic and I can rest. So maybe in those two days we can get closer again, but idk. I want us to work out so bad but I don't think he does. He says he just can't love me, but he doesn't realize that pregnant me is way different than non pregnant me. My hormones are going crazy and I feel like poo since he broke up with me.
We aren't really telling people we broke up yet but I told some of my friends...some of them tell me that they don't even know why I stayed with him and others say that they saw the way he acted with this other girl. Some of them say that things will change back when the baby is born and if I keep praying things will work out. Since the break up I've gotten back in touch with my religious side and it seems to be helping a little.
I told him that I don't feel comfortable around him and the other girl together and that it hurts to know they still flirt despite the fact that we just broke up and that she has a boyfriend which she is supposedly madly in love with. He says he's helped them to stay together though. He also says he wishes I would drop the situation with this girl because it could be anyone...but their relations were the ones I saw and who others saw as well, and he doesn't get that. It wouldn't have been as bad to me if it were with someone I didn't know.
I just don't know what to do right now and I'm afraid when the time comes he won't even be there for me as a friend. I want us to get back together but that won't happen anytime soon. I'm hoping a summer will allow him to grow up and to really see what he's leaving. he wants the baby to have his last name but if he isn't with me I don't see the point in that either. She's mine now because he left me, he didn't leave her but it still kinda feels that way because he never talked to her...or as he says he only talked to her when I was asleep...and I know that isn't true.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Like should I keep trying to better myself to get to the point of us getting back together or what? I will take anything!
We both had to go on to christmas break though and we were so infatuated with each other at that point. When we came back to school for the spring semester we moved in together at the fraternity house. Well things were going great for a while, and I really started to feel the pregnancy though. I had bad morning sickness and I felt so tired all the time. This made me become lazy and all I wanted to do was stay in bed. I also didn't really take good care of myself at first, I wasn't wearing makeup or anything and my friends said I looked like death lol but I soon got over that and started getting myself back together. The tiredness never went away though.
He asked me to change some things in me and make myself more likeable for myself and I tried I really did. I went on spring break and totally got a make over and started picking everything up and cleaning and stuff...We kept getting into stupid fights though. I know I got mad for no reason and seemed to always have an attitude and I got mad at him right before spring break because he didn't spend our last night with me, he went over to a friends house and partied. Well we worked on things and he said he liked how I was picking myself up...but then things got really rocky. He started to flirt with this girl a lot and at first I ignored it because he just has a flirty personality but then every time I turned around they were together. I told him that I was uncomfortable and that I felt like a third wheel around them and he told me they were just friends. When I brought it up it came down to him saying that I didn't trust him. I did, but I didn't trust her...I told her my concerns too and we talked it out and worked on our friendship.
Well shortly after I told him my feelings we got into a big fight and everytime we fought he would always say he was tired of repeating himself and that he was done. Not done with us just done with the fight. I didn't know what to do and he told me he didn't love me the same. He said he still liked me so we agreed to try and make it work until December and this happened near the first of May. It really left us with four days to try and get a spark back though. That wasn't a lot of time to try and work on anything. I tried to better myself and tried to become the person he fell for in the first place. On our last night together we went to Walmart and shopped and ate dinner together and then we had sex later that night. That morning we both got up and got ready so I could take him to his final exam which ended up getting cancelled. I was going to meet his mom and his sister later that day because they were picking up his things. I met them and they were really nice, and we didn't hate each other. They gave us a few minutes to say goodbye and he gave me a hug and kissed me.
I went home the same day and the next went out with my mom. She bought me some stuff for our room and I texted him and was like, I love you and told him everything my mom got. He asked me why I loved him and I told him it was because he was patient with me when I didn't deserve it and all of this other stuff. It was hard for me to explain because Ijust felt it in my heart. Then the blow came. He told me he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore and that he liked this other girl that I had always had suspiscions about. Well she has a boyfriend but also likes my now ex boyfriend. He told her not to break up with her boyfriend for him. He said nothing will happen between them while she's still in a relationship though. He has also told me that right now he's not looking for a relationship with me or anyone else. He waited until college let out for the semester to do it though, and waited till I got home. He lives in Arkansas and I live in Texas. Well he did say he still wants to be friends and stay in our childs life....but I'm scared he's going to leave.
The girl he currently has feelings for is moving into the same frat house as us and neither him nor me can afford to get seperate rooms right now. I told my mom what happend and she said she could come up with money and just kick him out and he can figure out everything on his own. I really don't want to do that to him because his gpa wasn't so high for the last few semesters and he lost his financial aid. That's going to put him in an even bigger bind.
In my heart I'm hoping that staying in the same room come July will bring us back together but I really don't know what his plans are now that the other girl is moving in as well. We agreed to stay in the same room for now though.
Before we ended our breakup conversation we clarified that he doesn't do breaks but we are over for now unless something changes between now and when school starts back. He told me that we didn't have to change our facebook status' for now either, I told him I couldn't handle telling everyone what happened right now. Of course when we break up everyone is going to see me as the victim in this and I feel like I am, but I don't want our friends hating him. Sometimes I feel like he deserves it though. I asked him a few days ago to consider seeing where we are at when a summer camp rolls around where we are both working at, and then from there just see how things are going when school starts back. I think things are going to get better for me once the baby is born because I will gain that motherly instinct, but he thinks they will just get worse. But he told me he won't make any promises to make it work but just see how things are going.
The only problem with the summer camp thing is that the girl that he currently has feelings for is going to be there too. I contacted the camp director and told him what was going on and he said he would try his best to keep them apart because he doesn't want to see me get stressed while there.
I'm picking him up for the camp though so we can still talk about birthing plans and stuff...and he said ok. I'm hoping that the few weeks apart right now will help me grow and him as well. I also plan on kinda seducing him with pheramones when he gets in the car...like I have this perfume that has them in there so I'm hoping that will work. Plus I'm picking him up two days before the camp so we can get wic and I can rest. So maybe in those two days we can get closer again, but idk. I want us to work out so bad but I don't think he does. He says he just can't love me, but he doesn't realize that pregnant me is way different than non pregnant me. My hormones are going crazy and I feel like poo since he broke up with me.
We aren't really telling people we broke up yet but I told some of my friends...some of them tell me that they don't even know why I stayed with him and others say that they saw the way he acted with this other girl. Some of them say that things will change back when the baby is born and if I keep praying things will work out. Since the break up I've gotten back in touch with my religious side and it seems to be helping a little.
I told him that I don't feel comfortable around him and the other girl together and that it hurts to know they still flirt despite the fact that we just broke up and that she has a boyfriend which she is supposedly madly in love with. He says he's helped them to stay together though. He also says he wishes I would drop the situation with this girl because it could be anyone...but their relations were the ones I saw and who others saw as well, and he doesn't get that. It wouldn't have been as bad to me if it were with someone I didn't know.
I just don't know what to do right now and I'm afraid when the time comes he won't even be there for me as a friend. I want us to get back together but that won't happen anytime soon. I'm hoping a summer will allow him to grow up and to really see what he's leaving. he wants the baby to have his last name but if he isn't with me I don't see the point in that either. She's mine now because he left me, he didn't leave her but it still kinda feels that way because he never talked to her...or as he says he only talked to her when I was asleep...and I know that isn't true.
Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Like should I keep trying to better myself to get to the point of us getting back together or what? I will take anything!
