Looking for a buddy who logs in a lot :)

[tcinks]

Does that sound needy?

I just want to meet some ladies who are on a similar journey and give/receive support. I have lots of close friends and sisters who are pregnant or have young babies...and have no idea what I'm going through or how to relate. Mostly no one talks about it

I've lost two babies, the first at 13 weeks and the second at 21. It has been almost 6 months since that most recent loss and I am still not pregnant yet. (well I'm in the tww, trying to stay hopeful). My first babies were conceived the first month actively trying.

It's so hard to be surrounded by so many women having absolutely no trouble conceiving/no experience with loss. I'd love to make some friends on here who are know what I'm going through.

I'm Terrissa, 26, live in the US. DH and I have been married for 3 years and always wanted a houseful of children (I come from a family of 6, so at least that many or maybe more!). We never dreamed it would be this hard to grow our family. Sometimes I just need to vent...or talk about my little ones.

Anyone out there want to buddy up??

 

[Aayla]

I will be your buddy. I log on every day. I'm a bit of an addict. lol A little bit about myself.

I am 37. Hubby and I have been married for nearly 5 years. I was diagnosed with PCOS at 18 and always knew I would have fertility issues. (but I do wish we knew more about the syndrome back then because no one told me how to keep it under control)

So we started going to the doctor a year before we got married. I was diagnosed with a different issue (potentially cancerous) that took 3 years to get rid of. I did 2 rounds of clomid but that made me gain a lot of weight (I am already obese so this added a wrinkle). So I had to lose the weight I had gained. That was in 2014. i got a new doc in 2015 and this year we got to actively try when I got put on Letrozole.

First cycle didn't work as the meds weren't at the right dose. Second cycle worked to make me ovulate but no bfp. 3rd cycle worked and we got our BFP in August. Unfortunately that ended in a mc at 5 weeks 5 days.

We finally got to try again one cycle ago. That didn't get us our bfp. Now i am in the TWW for this current cycle. symptoms look promising but I am only cautiously optimistic.

I totally understand the lack of sympathy. My sister had multiple miscarriages but even she is close lipped and just gave me the "at least you know you can get pregnant" retort. I have found great solice in this forum. It's been nice to talk to many different women who have gone through similar experiences as I have.

Oh and I am from British Columbia Canada.

 

[tcinks]

Hi Aayla! Wow what a journey. I can't imagine what it must have been like struggling so long to get pregnant and then having a miscarriage. I'msorry for what you're going through.

I'm only on cycle 5 since my loss and it already feels like an eternity. Who knew having a baby could be this hard? Not me. :/ And wow about your sister...you would think she would be more sympathetic since she went through it. People just have a hard time talking about difficult things...

I'm on 9dpo and tested this morning with a frer I know It's still early but I'm not very optimistic. I don't understand my body anymore. Ugh.

What day are you on? When will you test?

 

[JasmineFrame]

I am 26 years old I have been married for 5 years we have an almost 4 year old son. My husband and I really want another sibling for our son we got Pregnant in June of this year and we lost the baby in August. I got pregnant with both my son and our angel within the first month of trying. Now after my D&C my cycles have changed so much I am slowly loosing hope that we will get pregnant again we have been trying since Oct of this year and have yet to have a BFP yet.

 

[tcinks]

Sorry for your loss Jasmine I think waiting for that bfp after a loss always feels like forever! Don't give up.

 

[JasmineFrame]

My plan is to just relax I know temps and OPKs are for other people but the stress of it all wears me out

 

[tcinks]

I agree. I've tried temping and couldn't keep it up. If I'm not pregnant this cycle I might try opks, we'll see. What CD are you on ?

 

[MsH15]

Hey Ladies, need another buddy? I try to log in daily, usually the weekends are tough, but I still try.

Well I'm Melissa... had an ectopic about 2 yrs ago, still not pg again... My love and I are going on 16 yrs together, 7 yrs married in Jan. (<-- HS sweethearts, lol) Well we only got blessed the one time and it was the ectpoic. Treatment for that was a lil tough and resulted in the lose of my right tube, but other than that, healthy and all is well..

I am on 8 dpo today and will test tomorrow am (I know super early) before my annual well woman exam at 10am... *sigh* we'll see. I feel out already but only God knows til AF shows her ugly face.... We do plan on talking to doc tomorrow about checking hormone levels and maybe getting some help in TTC. 16 yrs not preventing and only one pregnancy, seems a lil off to me.. BUT we WILL get answers and SOON!!!

Prayers going up for all of us to get our s & Lots and lots of to all you ladies!

 

[tcinks]

Hi Melissa :wave: Wow that's a long journey to only have one bfp. Sorry for your loss. Hoping this is your month! Do you track your cycles at all or just bd and hope for the best?

 

[MsH15]

tcinks - Thanx girl and I am so sorry for your losses as well. It's so heart breaking when you want it more than anything! I have a tight nit group of GFs all of which have at least one or more kids, no losses and can conceive just thinking about babies (guurrrr ) and I just felt like they couldn't/didn't relate so I put my brave face on and cried and healed with my love. But I def feel it would have been a lot easier had I thought to join a forum with other women feeling the same things. So I am glad you are here so WE can relate and vent as much as we want without judgement and also give our poor OHs a break from hearing it.. lol

I have always been pretty regular. They gave me three rounds of Methotrexate to treat the ectopic (which obviously didn't work since I ended up in surgery anyways) and had my cycles all out of wack. I went to an acupuncturist for a few months and she really helped me get my cycles regulated again. Acupuncturist actually made me download a tracker so we could see my progress and if we needed switch things up at all. So that tells me, my O window and cycle lengths... I have not begun temping yet, but will next cycle if this on is a bust. Also going to ask doc for some insight, advise and help tomorrow. *Fingers Crossed*

Oh and we BD A LOT... still so into each other which amazes me every day, but I still say my thanks and pray it never changes :0)

 

[tcinks]

That's so sweet

Ive talked to some other women who did acupuncture to help their cycles...I wish I had insurance that covered that!

I hope you get some answers from doctors tomorrow! Do you have a pretty good relationship with your doctor? Sometimes I find them to be a little frustrating...a lot of them (after my losses) would barely look into my chart or ask about ny history and just make generalizations. I would like to be treated as an individual! Because of my history and some issues (fibroids), my pregnancies won't be typical and I have to have a lot more appointments. There were times things just didn't feel right and I wanted to be seen, but I was just brushed off. I think the doctor I have now is pretty good, we have a plan in place for when I get pregnant again.

Anyway, I hope your experience with doctors is better than mine Keep me posted about how it goes tomorrow!

 

[MsH15]

That's so sweet

Ive talked to some other women who did acupuncture to help their cycles...I wish I had insurance that covered that!

I hope you get some answers from doctors tomorrow! Do you have a pretty good relationship with your doctor? Sometimes I find them to be a little frustrating...a lot of them (after my losses) would barely look into my chart or ask about ny history and just make generalizations. I would like to be treated as an individual! Because of my history and some issues (fibroids), my pregnancies won't be typical and I have to have a lot more appointments. There were times things just didn't feel right and I wanted to be seen, but I was just brushed off. I think the doctor I have now is pretty good, we have a plan in place for when I get pregnant again.

Anyway, I hope your experience with doctors is better than mine Keep me posted about how it goes tomorrow!

My insurance didn't cover the acupuncture either, but my lady wasn't too bad in cost. She wanted to see me every week, but I just couldn't afford that so I opted for twice a month for about 3-4 months... That did the trick for me. And WOW, it's so relaxing. I would float out of those appointments.. I highly recommend trying it. They can also help with some fertility issues as well like PCOS...
I am actually going to see this doc for the first time. My acupuncturist referred me to her (she is a friend) and when I told my PCP we wanted to actively try, he also referred me to her. She is supposed to be great and specializes in fertility and fertility issues... So FX she is the one. I didn't really have any issues with my other doc(s) who treated my ectopic, but the process in itself was a lil crazy and at times we def felt like the joke in the office. Mainly because I was in there every other week for blood work and to check levels and symptoms and what not so that lasted for about 3+ months. They had a running joke in there that they could just hand me a blank lab form and I could fill it in myself because I knew the panel codes by heart. They were so nonchalant about it, while inside my heart was breaking and my body was doing all kinds of crazy things. So YES girl I def feel you about wanting to be treated as an individual patient and not just some stats and numbers or $$$. Needless to say my love was not too thrilled with the two docs who treated the ectopic so he insisted that we look into others. I will def let you know how the appointment goes tomorrow. Hopefully she is nice and actually listens (that a huge thing, they tend to stop listening after a few seconds or at least it seems).
It's great that you have a decent doc now... Helps so much! And having a plan is so reassuring as well because it lets you know that your doc is paying attention to YOU and YOUR needs.
Well here's to BFPs in the coming cycles

 

[Aayla]

Hi Aayla! Wow what a journey. I can't imagine what it must have been like struggling so long to get pregnant and then having a miscarriage. I'msorry for what you're going through.

I'm only on cycle 5 since my loss and it already feels like an eternity. Who knew having a baby could be this hard? Not me. :/ And wow about your sister...you would think she would be more sympathetic since she went through it. People just have a hard time talking about difficult things...

I'm on 9dpo and tested this morning with a frer I know It's still early but I'm not very optimistic. I don't understand my body anymore. Ugh.

What day are you on? When will you test?

I am 6dpo. Already have symptoms just like I did last time. Ideally I want to wait until af is due which is Jan 10. I am tired of the migraines, squinting over shadows and maybe's to only have af arrive on time. If I do decide to test early it won't be until 13dpo. I have a long lp (about 18 days) and that was the earliest I got a light line last time. I get my progesterone tested in the morning so that may show something. So I have at least 1 more week to wait this out.

 

[Uni tsi]

tcinks I would feel honored to be your buddy and I am grateful for the chance to get to know the other ladies posting here even though I wish we were meeting for other, happier reasons. My deepest sympathies to all of you for your losses.

I'm 38 years old and have been married two and a half years. We spent nearly two years ntnp before I got pregnant. We lost the baby two months ago at 35 weeks and 5 days.

Aayla, I also find the "at least you know you can get pregnant" retort to be extremely unhelpful. It was something my doctor said, and at least from her it was an observation of medical value. But coming from other women I have to bite my tongue not to snip at them. I know they mean well, but I wish they would stop trying to impose their silver linings on me. Most people just seem really awkward and like they don't know what to say. I wonder if because your sister didn't have anyone to talk to when it happened to her, she just doesn't know how to talk about it?

I have a huge group of rl friends that seem to fall into two camps. One group of moms happily ensconced in the bubble of motherhood who all got pregnant without trying. I can't really bring myself to hang out with them because I feel like its asking too much to try to see them when I can't stand to be around their babies. My other group of friends are committed to being childless and have been a great source comfort and company, but I share the need to interact with ladies who can directly relate.

I'm currently in the tww and reminding myself it doesn't make a bit of sense to test before tomorrow. Before my loss, I enjoyed this message board on occasion, but these past two months it has become really important to my mental well being. I'm still learning all the abbreviations and sometimes I still just type out the whole word because my fingers move faster than my brain does, so I hope that doesn't bother anyone

MsH, acupuncture sounds really intriguing, and I'm glad to hear you're finding it helpful. I'm lucky to have a really great, proactive and understanding doc. But the reasons for our loss were inconclusive and unexplained. In theory, there is no reason to worry about it happening again or to think there will be any delay in getting pregnant again. But, in actuality I obsess about both those things. I wonder if acupuncture could be beneficial for restoring the balance of my body which despite a lack of explanation is clearly so out of whack?

Jasmine, I also find temping and OPKs really stressful. I tried temping about two years ago and had to give it up after a few months because it messed with my head. I did opk this past month and it wasn't so bad except that I never caught the LH surge and so it just left me wondering and thinking I should have also been temping. Gonna try temping next cycle if I can find my thermometer and I got some digital opk which I'm hoping will be both more sensitive and less stressful than trying to guess if that faint line means anything or not.

Wow ladies this post got a lot longer than I intended. I really just meant to say "hi!" :wave:

 

[MsH15]

I'm 9 dpo today with doc appointment at 10:30am so I am getting ready to go POAS just to make sure and I suppose for SH**s and giggles sinc eI already kinda feel out this cycle. But I'm saying a lil prayer now and crossing fingers...

Uni - First off, WELCOME!! And I am so sorry for your loss. I def understand how hard it is to feel encouraged after such a difficult emotional loss. Acupuncture was great for me and a few other woman I know who have PCOS (acupuncturist helped them conceive. So all in all, I highly recommend trying it out, just make sure you are comfy with your acupuncturist right from the start. It def helps. And ask questions, they are usually extremely happy to provide any information you may want or need.

Have a great day Ladies, I'll try to log in again later to update on appointment. to us all!

 

[Uni tsi]

Thanks MsH. Later, I'd love more advice on how to pick a good acupuncturist. You mentioned the sessions were relaxing - just the help with the stress seems like it could be very beneficial to me right now.

I hope you got an unexpected surprise when you tested this morning!

 

[MsH15]

Thanks MsH. Later, I'd love more advice on how to pick a good acupuncturist. You mentioned the sessions were relaxing - just the help with the stress seems like it could be very beneficial to me right now.

I hope you got an unexpected surprise when you tested this morning!

POAS = still really early so I suspected. Just waiting for AF now so we can start a new cycle.

Uni - My acupuncturist actually got referred to me by my eyebrow lady. She had PCOS and experienced a loss around the same time as my ectopic. She got preg again a few months later with the help of acupuncturist. So I was sold at that point. My acupuncturist did tell me to look for someone with extensive hours in the practice because that indicates they went through more than just the basic/standard training for certification. She also said it is much like picking a doc. Comfort factor is important. I feel like I lucked out by having someone I trust refer a good acupuncturist. Really wish you ladies were in AZ so I could send you all to her. She was amazing for me. Also, check into ear seeds they are easy enough to do yourself and promote relaxation. Acupuncturist sent me some in a Christmas card

 

[Uni tsi]

I hope I can have such a nonchalant attitude when I get my tomorrow lol I'm trying to keep expectations low.

Thanks for the advice on the acupuncturist. I'll ask around and see what I can find out. Ear seeds sound very intriguing. Does the tape tickle?

 

[MsH15]

I hope I can have such a nonchalant attitude when I get my tomorrow lol I'm trying to keep expectations low.

Thanks for the advice on the acupuncturist. I'll ask around and see what I can find out. Ear seeds sound very intriguing. Does the tape tickle?

Uni - It's still tough, but I know it's early and all bets are off until AF shows. I was down in the dumps for so long that I am at a place now where I just want peace and positive vibes so that's what I try my best to put out into the universe. *sigh* you will see, I have my moments of "OH dear God just take me now" lol but I try to stay upbeat and remind myself that I HAVE to just trust and believe that it WILL happen for us too!

The tape doesn't tickle, well at least not for me it didn't

 

[Uni tsi]

msH, you sound like a good role model for me. I still need to be reminded to stay positive. It's just so hard to want to get my hopes up again after getting so far along and having them dashed so viciously. I try not to be too negative, but I feel like if I can keep expectations low then I'll only have pleasant surprises ahead of me instead of disappointments. But, I'm just starting this journey so we'll see how long that lasts lol It really amazes me how good my mood has been since I entered the tww, compared to what it was before that, so I think I am getting my hopes up a little.

But, I am scared to be hopeful. If that makes any sense? Getting a positive would literally be the most terrifying thing I can think of right now and yet I want it more than anything else in the world

edit - gosh that sounded so dramatic at the end. I really meant to be lighthearted lol