looking for advice :)

[amanda111308]

Hello Ladies!!

I am not so new to this site, I joined in May of this year and check in every now and then to see what's new and exciting.

I apologize in advance this may be a touch long

DH and I got married August 2008 and are very much in love, to put things straight to the point he is not ready for children, says he wants more for us before we have our children. Which I completely level with and want as well. I want us to have our family home, a second vehicle, and stable careers, which only seems logical. In a time frame I see that coming into play in about 4+ years from now.

However... I believe I may possibly be pregnant... nothing is confirmed by test or anything like that, but just the fear of it has triggered my mind and now I'm wondering things like if I were pregnant now, how in the world would we manage to swing that? (financially) DH is going back to school in January for Accounting and dreams that he will aspire to become a Chartered Accountant which we have been counselled takes 4-6 years of post secondary schooling...

I'm praying that we are not pregnant just yet but if we are... what are some good options? I've always wanted to be home for at least the first year of our children's lives but if this is happening now that may never be... our future may have just been pre-determined for us...

ALSO I'm not worried as much as I sound, and I know I shouldn't get to worked up about anything until I know for sure, but this is something which could come up in my life again while DH is in school, God only knows right?
Just looking for people who have been in/are in a situation like this when pregnancy has been confirmed and what they chose to do about it?

Thanks Girls for reading this long post and for any and all suggestions you can offer...

 

[Amygdala]

Hi!
I haven't been in your situation really, apart from a short-term "scare" a while ago but didn't want to read and run. I think as long as you're sure you want children some time and that you both are happy together then you'll cope with any surprise kids whenever they decide to make an appearance. The time's never just right. But you're in a commited relationship, you both have jobs or can get them, you'll sort it somehow. Yeah a second car is nice and yeah having a permanent home gives you security but people have brought up happy families with much less than you have! And your man might surprise you when actually faced with the possibility. I think they usually take ages to think they are ready but if a LO comes along they cope anyway, whether they think they're ready or not.
Good luck whichever way this turns out and try not to worry too much!

 

[Blob]

The thing is that when you have a baby you work something out no matter what... the things that you see as dreams now would be so different they are like background. I got pregnant when my OH was in his final year of his masters which obv wasnt great, he lived at the uni 45mins away and i really only saw him at weekends.. we were planning to get married etc and talked about children but like you say it was in the future. However now somehow i dont need to work we are about to become partners in a buisness and all my OHs dreams have come true...

However before you get worked up TEST!! Because every tiny little sign will make you wonder