Looking for an active buddy (buddies) LTTTC #2

[Braven05]

Hi!

I'm looking for a buddy (or buddies) to move forward on this TTC journey with. I don't have a ton of support in real life because I feel like people have just forgotten about me and my struggle, since it's been so long.

I'm 36 years old my husband and I have been TTC baby #2 for 4 years 4 months now. We have a 5 year old DD and started trying when she was 11 months old. Hubby turns 40 next month and has 2 older daughters from a previous marriage.

I was diagnosed in June of this year with PCOS and my doctor started me on Metformin. I have been seeing some gradual changes to my cycle which had gotten really erratic. I've always had long cycles and never the same from month to month. But not until about 7 cycles ago did I start having mid-cycle bleeding. Some months I had spotting or full on bleeding for 14 days out of the month.

Since starting the Met my cycles have gone from 32-39 days to 29-30 days in length. And just the past cycle I had no spotting at all which was really exciting.

I had a follow up with my gyn a couple of weeks ago and she was really encouraged by the change in my cycles. She gave me the option of sticking with the Met to see if that helped things or starting on ovulation stimulation.

After so long, I of course chose stimulation. She also gave me a choice of Clomid or Femara. I did a cycle of Clomid 2 years ago and (while I know one cycle isn't completely indicative) I didn't respond so I didn't want to go back on it. My follicles actually shrunk during my monitoring.

So I chose Femara. She started me at 2.5 mg days 5-9. I finished my last one yesterday. DH and I have decided to DTD every other day from here until...who knows lol

I am overweight, working on losing...although I've gotten way off track lately. Since January of this year I've lost 65 lbs and DH has lost about 50 lbs. Trying to find my motivation again. Halloween candy isn't helping.

Anyways. I always found this site so helpful back when I was TTC my first LO but the secondary fertility and LTTTC sections are kind of slow these days. Just want someone else who is struggling or TTCing who wants to give and receive support! It's tough feeling so alone in the world.

 

[MamaBerry]

Hi Braven,

I was wondering if could join you? I'm 39 years old and ttc #2, for about 2 years now. I have a 4 year old DS, who is the light of my life. I have DOR, but waited to go back to my fertility clinic because, honestly, I hated going through all the cycle monitoring, blood tests, us, etc. Also DS was a difficult pregnancy and needed a lot of care after he was born.

It took quite a few months to get all the tests done again and right before I was scheduled to start treatments, I actually got a BFP. My second BFP in this crazy 10 year ttc rollercoaster I have been on. Unfortunately that ended in a MC at the end of May. My doctor thinks its probably egg quality.

So here I am, getting acupuncture, hopped up on supplements and trying the "natural" way for a bit, before I have one last go at the fertility clinic. I'm also trying to lose a few pounds (congrats on losing the 65 lbs!) and be the healthiest me possible, before I go back.

I have a short 26-27 day cycle, and currently am in my TWW.

All my friends have 2 kids, so its a bit lonely for me too. Here's wishing the both of us lots of luck and baby dust!

 

[Braven05]

Hi MamaBerry!

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've never experienced one and I can't even imagine. I'm worried about that happening with the meds I'm on now, if I do conceive because I know after trying for so long it would absolutely destroy me.

I'm sorry to hear about your DOR diagnosis as well. I kind of wonder if I'm dealing with that as well, due to my age.

It sucks to be surrounded by others who have multiple children. I always wanted a big family. I kind of compromised when I met my DH, as he already had two children. I felt like if I could have two of my own, 4 would be wonderful. Never imagined I'd be dealing with secondary infertility after getting pregnant so easily with #1. At the time, 5 months felt like forever though!

I'm not having a ton of monitoring done because I don't have insurance coverage for fertility treatments and can't afford a lot. Most of what is getting done now is under the guise of me having issues with my cycle/spotting. We can only go so far with things though, so all my eggs are in one basket now. Hoping the femara and metformin along with the weight loss helps!

 

[missi1717]

Hi MamaBerry!

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've never experienced one and I can't even imagine. I'm worried about that happening with the meds I'm on now, if I do conceive because I know after trying for so long it would absolutely destroy me.

I'm sorry to hear about your DOR diagnosis as well. I kind of wonder if I'm dealing with that as well, due to my age.

It sucks to be surrounded by others who have multiple children. I always wanted a big family. I kind of compromised when I met my DH, as he already had two children. I felt like if I could have two of my own, 4 would be wonderful. Never imagined I'd be dealing with secondary infertility after getting pregnant so easily with #1. At the time, 5 months felt like forever though!

I'm not having a ton of monitoring done because I don't have insurance coverage for fertility treatments and can't afford a lot. Most of what is getting done now is under the guise of me having issues with my cycle/spotting. We can only go so far with things though, so all my eggs are in one basket now. Hoping the femara and metformin along with the weight loss helps!

Hi Ladies! Mind if I join? I haven't been on this site in a while...felt like I needed a break from symptom spotting!! I have a beautiful 3 year old (she will be 4 in Feb)
She was incredibly easy to become pregnant with (we weren't trying...we were actually trying to prevent pregnancy...we weren't married yet)
So, we decided to ttc #2 in Nov 2014. ( We did take a few cycles off....loooooong story lol)
Back in March, my gyn referred me to a fertility clinic... I haven't made an appointment yet... I know it sounds weird, but I'm almost afraid to. I'm afraid they will tell me something is wrong and that it can't be fixed.... so each month for the past 24 cycles, I have been slowly losing that glimmer of hope. Guess it's time to put it my big girl pants on and visit the RE.
I am 32 and my hubby is 37.
I am in the same boat regarding insurance... so everything will be out of pocket. 😞
Everyone around me is pregnant or was pregnant and had already given birth....and I'm over here staring at stark white bfns.
I would love to join you and compare stories, vent etc. Good luck to both of you! Baby dust to all!

 

[Braven05]

Hi Missi,

Yay Would love more buddies. I'm sorry to hear about your trouble with conceiving baby #2. I totally get the being afraid part. It's scary to think that there are issues.

I know, from being around for quite some time that it could be something simple though. Not to say it definitely is, but it could be. Unfortunately, you won't know until you see someone about it.

It's just insane that you can get pregnant with one child and then your body just decides not to do it again. I feel awful sometimes because when I was pregnant with my DD I remember saying that if she was the only child I could ever have, I would be happy with it.

And of course I love her and I'm so so grateful to have her and I know there are women out there who can't even have one child, which also makes me feel incredibly guilty. But you just can't stop the desire for another when you want it so bad.

Today is CD12 for me. Hoping to see some signs of O in the next few days. I'm not feeling super confident about this cycle but definitely feel like we're moving in the right direction!

 

[MamaBerry]

Hi Braven and Missi! I hope you are both having a good day so far!

I totally understand being scared too. I've been to see a specialist before and I didn't want to see her again because I was scared she'd have worse news for me, lol. But it is also nice to know if anything at all is going on. It helps with planning out what you want to do. At the same time I wouldn't take what they say as the be all, end all. I was told I have DOR, and when they did a u/s on my ovaries I had a total of 0 follicles, yep 0! My doctor really didn't think I had a chance to become pregnant, and told me I'd be wasting my money going through treatments. But I someone still got pregnant on my own, and my body somehow popped out one egg. I miscarried, but the fact that I got pregnant at all was still something (hopefully a good sign).

Braven I know what you mean too, when you say you feel guilty for wanting another baby, when some women can't have any. I feel the same way too. Sometimes I think I should just be grateful for what I do have....and I am! But my crazy brain can't keep the baby thoughts away.

I'm on cd18, and driving myself crazy with symptom spotting For some reason my boobs have been sore for the past two days and I don't know if it means anything. My period came super early twice this year, so it could be that too.

Braven, hope you get your O soon!

 

[Braven05]

I hate symptom spotting! lol I was THE WORST with that when I was TTC my first and maybe for the first year of TTC #2. Now I just know that my body is capable of any crazy old thing and I can't trust it.

Also, with taking fertility meds, I really can't trust anything. I used an opk yesterday because my ovaries felt strange but got nothing. My doctor warned me that the meds could interfere with tests though.

I hate waiting. And I'm not even in the TWW yet. I always have signs of ovulation, even if it's not happening. I wish there was some way of knowing if I was actually releasing an egg!

Anyways, hope you're doing well MamaBerry!

 

[MamaBerry]

Sorry I've been MIA! Had some work events then my little guy got sick, then hubby got sick, and it was just me holding down the fort. Thank goodness they are both on the mend!

Braven, any signs of O yet?

I'm on cd23 now, and counting down the days before I can POAS

I haven't used opk's in a while because I have pretty significant symptoms from ovulation, but if this cycle is a bust I may cave and buy some. Even thought I'm symptom spotting like crazy, I don't think this cycle is going to land me my bfp. Which is okay. I started some supplements (Ubiquinol etc.) and accupuncture in October and I heard it takes about 3 months before it affects egg quality.

On a happy note, I managed to lose 10 lbs! then gained it all back after a few work parties/events that were going on And its just the start of the holiday season...I need to be more dedicated to my weight loss goals because I know it will help with ttc, but its so hard sometimes. Oh well, this week is a new week, and I will try again.

How are you doing Braven and Missi?

 

[Braven05]

Hi MamaBerry. Sorry to hear about the sickness! I've just caught the cold DD has had hanging around for the past week or so and ugh. I feel you. Hopefully hubby doesn't catch it because there's nothing worse than a man cold haha

I have had cramps on both sides for the past 2 days or so and a little ewcm, although not as much as I usually get.

Hubby and I have been DTD every other day up until CD 14 and then we did it 3 days in a row. I'm CD 17 today. No OPKs left so who knows. Fingers crossed though!

I've got my fingers crossed for you as well. You shouldn't have too much longer before you'll know.

I haven't even got to the TWW yet and I'm already impatient. I hate waiting!! lol

 

[MamaBerry]

I hate waiting too, I don't know how I get through the TWW each month! LOL

Wow you and hubby were able to get in er...alot of action? lol on all the right days! I am so jealous I have to say, my little guy has some innate sense and is somehow able to foil many of our plans at DTD, hahahahaha
Good luck, this cycle sound like a good one!

Hope you feel better soon Braven. And hopefully your husband doesn't get sick too, man colds are terrible

 

[Braven05]

Thanks MamaBerry! I'm still feeling pretty awful this morning. I feel bad because answering phones is a big part of my job and I'm just not able to, today.

I think in general hubby and I have a pretty good sex life lol But this month has been with the intention of conceiving obviously. We've DTD 7 times in the last 12 days. I can't say it's all been enjoyable haha. More like a duty but he's on board with it so might as well go for it.

Fortunately my DD is pretty good about going to sleep and staying that way at least until the early hours of the morning when she gets up too early. I'm thankful for that. I can imagine that would make it hard, if your LO is up and down all night.

 

[MamaBerry]

So the got me early again, this is the second cycle in a row. Aargh, now I'm scared I'm going through early menopause, which wouldn't be a surprise since I have DOR....sigh...bring on the stress!!

 

[Braven05]

Oh no I'm so sorry Mamaberry. That really stinks. Do you have any sort of plan in place now? Will you talk to your doctor about the short cycles?

 

[MamaBerry]

I'm seeing my naturopath next Tuesday and trying to get an earlier appointment with my fertility clinic. I'm supposed to meet with the fertility doctor early January to talk about my next medicated cycle.

Fun times ahead... At least its Friday, and I may indulge in a bit of wine or a good cocktail this weekend. Or something VERY chocolatey

How are you feeling Braven?

 

[Braven05]

That sounds like a good plan! I hope you can get some answers.

I am feeling okay. A bit better with my cold. I'm fairly certain that I am out, already, and I'm no more than 5 dpo if I actually O'd.

 

[dan-o]

Hi braven, I think I remember you!

I'm almost 40 now and have had a history of many miscarriages, which has made me LTTTC at times.
This time round we have not prevented since my DS was born in June 2015. Had one pregnancy so far since him and recently lost that one.

I tried a couple cycles of clomid cycles back along but either got cysts or just one follicle and bfn. I've had great success with it in the past though.

Hi mama berry. I'm having the same issue with shortening cycles.. and thinking the same thing.. surely we are too young though! Hope so!

 

[Braven05]

Hi Dan-o! I recognize your name as well. We maybe were ttc around the same time in 2010! My dd was born in August. I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Big hugs your way.

CD26 for me today. Feeling super crampy so feeling like I'm out and on to another femara cycle once the witch shows. Should be in the next 3-4 days. I have to test in order to get another prescription.

I was trying to be optimistic for this to happen in the first cycle but I kind of knew it wouldn't.

Oh well, on to next cycle and an increased dosage!

 

[dan-o]

I almost always get AF like cramps in early pregnancy.. don't count yourself out yet braven!!

I'm cd2 today on my first proper cycle after MC. Not medicating or timing TTC at the moment, just taking vitex, ciq10, folic and b vit and winging it.

 

[Braven05]

I dunno...I feel kind of odd. Definitely not typical pre-AF symptoms. But...dealing with the femara is like dealing with the unknown. I don't know what the meds might be causing. It's a waiting game. CD 27 so should just be a couple more days until AF shows.

 

[MamaBerry]

Hi Braven and Dan-O, how are you all doing? Any good news?

I'm CD21 today, and used an OPK this month, so hopefully I can get lucky. Anywho, will be testing (early) on Friday and every day afterwards, lol