As an adopter, I can say that adoption is beautiful. It has allowed me to become a parent and given my son a life he would never have had.
However, it's a situation where there is a lot of loss, on all parts. The bps lose their child, the adopter has lost the genetic child that they once longed for, and the adoptee has lost their biological parents. There are a lot of repercussions because of all of these things.
Our adoption is closed, we're in the uk and adopted from foster care. We never had the priviledge of meeting his birth family and that makes me feel sad. I often wonder what they are like, do their personalities match what we read in the reports? I certainly know that I see their faces in our son every single day.
I know some adopters will just take the child and 'run.' However most feel so much empathy and gratitude towards the bps. Take a look at the adopters thread on here. I know that regardless of the reasons (and there were serious ones) that our son was removed, I feel for his bm especially. Every birthday and christmas I cry for the girl who carried our son but never took him home. It hurts that one day he will ask questions that I cannot answer, and may want to walk away from us to seek his Birth family. That's the reality of adoption though. Those losses are felt throughout, not just initially.
That said, I feel the luckiest woman alive to be E's mommy. To be the person he comes to for cuddles, kisses goodnight and tickles. Adoption made us all the people we are today x