Looking for some support!

[Miwi]

Hi Guys, I'm going to post this here because this is the board I feel most comfortable posting in. I'm just looking for a bit of support.
I suppose I aim to be a 'gentle' parent with my toddler, but I'm really struggling to set boundaries. She is extremely demanding, she repeats what she wants over and over and over again until she gets it - I distract, we try and have a conversation around what it is ('You want to see Lisa? Yes you have lots of fun with Lisa don't you, do you remember what we did the last time we saw her?'), nothing works. I repeat myself a gazillion times a day and honestly just feel like all I am is here at her beck and call, she just orders me around all day. It's ludicrous. She just constantly whines at me, repeating the same thing over and over. Though is grand with others. I'm so ashamed I feel like such a crap Mum because I end up shouting. I owe it to her to set boundaries but whatever I try she just never stops nagging. I'm obviously doing something wrong. She's a lovely, caring, funny little girl and I'm blessed to be her mummy don't get me wrong but I feel like I'm failing her. We do have fun, it's not all bad but I'm a loss at how to change this and make it better.
I'm exhausted because my 4 month old still eats every hour and a half around the clock. She only naps in a wrap/carrier when I'm standing up. She's quite a demanding baby lol. We cosleep which helps at night but I'm obviously still not getting much sleep.
Honestly ladies I've nothing left to give. I try SO hard. I really do. But it's never enough. I'm always being whinged at or yelled at or someone is crying. My house is never clean. I'm exhausted and I don't know what to do. I get them out as often as I can, we walk, feed ducks, we go to toddler groups. I bake and colour with her etc. I'm seriously burnt out.
OH is brilliant but works 14 hour days 4 days a week and littlest DD won't take a bottle so there's only so much he can do for me. I have a medical condition that's also adding to my feeling of exhaustion but while I have two young children I don't suppose that matters much - there's not a lot I can do about the tiredness.
Not sure what the point of this post is really lol. Maybe I just needed to moan. Sorry!

 

[wish4baby]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time of it! But, remember, it won't always be this way!!!
I have 5 kids - my oldest 3 boys are very close in age and they were HARD. When they were 2,3 & 4 (I was pregnant expecting my 4th too)I don't know how I got through each day. Like you, I aimed to parent gently, but many times is found myself shouting, pulling the kids (usually apart and into seperate rooms lol), and generally very unhappy with who I was becoming as a mom (I envisioned something totally different lol!!)

now, however, they are 13,12, & 11 - best friends and much easier to deal with.
I don't really know exactly what I did differently, or when it got better, but I will tell you what I do remember.
I made a clear list of rules and posted them in the kitchen. That was the "warning", I didn't say anything more (Before, I was like a broken record - always, saying stop, I'm warning y'all, next time....blah blah blah, they didn't care)

Any broken rule resulted in immediate consequence so I wasn't always at the end of my tether. And I made really strict rules!! Huffing at me, eye rolling, begging, tattling, touching another, name calling, raising voices, not picking up toys, etc.
consequences changed with age, but included time outs, chores, loss of toys/video games, I even made them run laps around our yard or do hard excerises sometimes.

we still have rules & consequences posted- but now almost every punishment is chores, lots of chores! That really helped with my messy house, as soon as they could, they were scrubbing the bathrooms and doing laundry.

Hth some!!! Good luck


***i just saw your little one is almost 2, as I was writing I was thinking she was 4!!! She still has awhile before you can put her to work lol!! You probably won't find my post very helpful, but just know you have support!!! Hope someone else has some ideas

 

[busytulip]

Don't feel like a crap mom just because LO gives you trouble. If they are grand for others you've been doing your job.

The whining is a difficult habit to break. I found the best thing to do was to ignore requests that came in the form of a whine. Also you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. If you are out at the shops and LO is putting on a show and you say that if she doesn't quit you'll leave then you must be willing to leave. It really helps if you find your child's currency. If she loves craft time with mom then that is what will be taken away if she misbehaves. Above all else consistency is key.

Not sure if I was any help, but I do hope that you find what works for you and that you at least felt a bit better by venting.