Looking for support... sry soo long

[just_me_06190]

Hi, i am 19 and i am new to this website. Basically i am looking for some support from people who have been through a miscarriage and after reading alot of these posts i think this is just the place.

back when i was 17, a senior in high school, i had a late period. This was very odd for me since i was on birth control at the time (YAZ) so after 2 weeks and no period i took a pregnacy test which quickly came back positive. so thinking it was just a fluke i took 2 more. which both came back positive. after 3 more tests i finally just admitted to myself that i was pregnate. however i was scared to tell anyone. my parents would freak out, my boyfriend had said many times he didnt want kids anytime soon, and my friends would have been shocked. so for a week i didnt say a word. and though the thought of telling people i was pregnate scared me the thought of being a mom was alil exciting. i knew it would be hard but i was sure i would be able to handle it. well the next week i finally told my best friend becasue i wanted her to take me to the health clinic and have them give me a test before i told my family ... but out of anxiety i kept putting it off for a couple of weeks. but i wasnt stupid i starting taking prenatal pills and tried to eat alil healthier... i tried to do everything alil better. one night i woke up with horriable pains and my sheets had blood on them. i was soo scared and didnt know wat was happening. for nearly aweek i had bad cramps and passed several clots. I did some research and realized i had miscarried. i was soo hurt and felt liek i had done something to cause it. well i went to the health clinic and they said they couldnt tell me why it happen all they could tell me was that i had been about 7 to 8 weeks pregnate and that i should get some rest and try not to stress about it..... so basically they were no help! well i decided that since i hadnt told anyone aside from my one friend that ws pregnate that there was no need ot tell them about the miscarriage. so for 2 and a half years i have been holding this all inside and didnt talk about it. I went through alot of depression and cutting and drinking for awhile to try and cope. recently i have been thinking about it alot since i have broken up with my boyfriend.... .. and its soo hard because i have nobody to talk to about it.... i regreat not telling people when i was pregnat so i dont know how to talk to them about it now. ... i hope to find some friends on here that i can talk to when i am feeling down about it...

sorry soo long but had to get it all out!!

 

[Wishfull]

Im am so so so sorry for your loss. That must have been a very terrible thing to go through on your own. Its a terrible thing to go through on your own as it is but allbuy your self. Girl there are loads of women on this site who will know what you have been through an can honestly say " i know how you feel" More about the actuall miscarriage than the fact you went it alone.
Dont blame your self for not telling people you would have told them when you thought it was right. And its just a terrible thing that you never got round to teling them. But its not your fault.
My miscarriage was 3 weeks ago people knew about it but they will never know how i felt. The hurt and the pain is inside.
Is there noone like a councilor or a group you could maybe join as i feel this must have been so sad for you.
PM me if you ever need to chat.
Take care
Love from all the women on this site.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Yearning]

Hi,

I genuinely hope that you find the support that you seek here amongst others whom have experienced this also.

I am truely sorry for your loss and have an understanding of how you may feel, I to had a miscarriage when I was 16 and remember just how frightened, anxious and alone I felt during this time, especially in regards to how negatively I felt about myself; I too felt unable to confide in others, due to fear of anger and rejection.

Just know sweet-heart that you are not to blame and that talking about it helps the healing process XX

I am glad that you have chosen NOT to suffer in silence any longer.


Many

Always...Yearning.x

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I am soo sorry for your loss, and sorry you had to go through it alone. Welcome to BnB, we are all very supportive here, and definitely an ear to listen when you need it.

 

[JASMAK]

I am sorry for your loss, and I am so sorry you had to endure this painful heartbreaking experience on your own. I have had three miscarriages, the last one was just over a month ago. The emotional scars can be unbearable, but you MUST allow yourself to grieve. I am really glad that you came here, as this is a big step in helping you grieve. Here are some ideas for the greiving process from my miscarriage book: name your baby (even if you were only pregnant for a few weeks, and do not know the sex of the baby), dedicate a song to your baby, write or find poems of comfort about your baby, light a candle, or "celebrate" in another way the baby you once held in your womb. Oct. 15th is Pregnancy Loss and Awareness Day and that is the day that I light a candle for my angels, but, you can also do it on the day you lost your baby, or the "due date"...whatever day you want. Some people release balloons, or plant a tree. You may never forget your baby, but, if you grieve, in time, it will get easier. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me. Lots of

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you were so alone.

There are plenty of people who are here to listen. PM me if you want to.

 

[Rumpskin]

Hey sweety

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I did not realise just how many women miscarry until I had one of my own. You are never alone on this website, there is always someone to talk to or give you cyber kisses and hugs when you need them.

Angels are never forgotten xxxx

 

[misstrouble]

I am so sorry that you had to go through this alone, and so so sorry that you lost you little one. I can only imagine how it must have been eating you up inside for the past two years. Everyone on this site is amazing and any time to you need to vent, just let us know. Take care x

 

[ellasmummy]

Welcome to BnB!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, although i wasnt alone i felt alone. I felt like my OH didnt really understand what it felt like for me. I was devestated so i know how you are feeling. I am just so sorry you have gone through it all on your own! You will find some great support on here. Hope this helps

Take Care Sweetie xxx

 

[charliesmom]

Maybe one of your parents would be a lot more supportive than you think they might be? Try to open the topic, it really helps to receive some sympathy and support. I know you'll definitely get it here, these ladies/girls are awesome, but a hug is nice too.

 

[mugzy]

So sorry for your loss It helps to talk about it, do you have a friend you could tell now? Sometimes it just helps to have someone who will listen and give you a hug when you need it.

 

[Flossie03]

I'm so sorry for your loss miscarriage is such a hard thing to go through especially alone. I had a similar situation 13 years ago when I was a 22 year old student I found myself pregnant, I told only my best friend and my then boyfriend. I miscarried at about 6 weeks and my ex was very unsupportive (went out drinking while I was in my student digs alone miscarrying) although my best friend was very supportive. Although the pregnancy was unplanned it was a very difficult time, I only told my mum about it last month after my most recent miscarriage and she felt really bad that I had been through it alone.

It is hard but we are all here together to support each other, you need to let your feelings out and then you can begin to grieve, but you are not alone in the way you feel, hope that helps hun xx

 

[Drazic<3]

Hi sweetheart.

Im so sorry for your loss.

That was so brave of you to let all that out. Its terrifying. I wont say 'i know how you feel' because sometimes i wonder if anyone does, but i lost my baby very young and the only person who knew was my boyfriend. That feeling of being terrified to your core and having noone to reach out to, god i can emphasise there. Ive never been so scared in my whole life as when i m/c. I thought i was dying and then when i released what was happening i was sort of hoping i was. Still, the only people who know are people online and my OH.

Ive cut since then and had lots of issues with drink and eds..ect. If you want to talk to someone who i promise wont judge you, and will just be a friend, PM me. Its a long road to recovery, but having someone by your side helps. just take things at your own pace hunny

 

[BUMP5-ZA]

Im so sorry - I fell pregant with my 1st born also at 16 - i had a difficult labour and went into a 10day semi coma afterwards.I had two more pregnancies - i lost the one also on a few weeks pregnant and the other is my lil girl and she is healthy and three years old now.

I fell pregnant when she was just a few months old - i lost her on 38 weeks - it has devasted me and it wasnt easy - i lost my husban our bussineses and my baby - thnakfully i had two children - it didnt help ease the pain and i fell in a dark pit of depression - but i can say two years later and i am soon to be engaged again and though i was pregnant again ( but im not ...) and one peace of advise is talk about it lots and remember - the pain never goes away you only learn to live with it .

 

[amslou]

I am so sorry. I miscarried at 16. I didnt know i was pregnant at the time but i knew what had happened. I completely blocked it out although i remember that i was acting out on the outside getting stupidly drunk and making up complete fabrications to get attention.
That was almost 10 years ago now and i have only told people in the last 2 weeks that this happened to me. I told my sister when she was going on about that she had one last year and that i could never understand and i told my mum at the weekend and she was incredibly supportive but slightly upset that i never went to her in the first place.
I thought my mum would have gone crazy but she didnt maybe if you can confide in someone like that now it would help to get it out.

 

[just_me_06190]

It was sooo nice to get on here today and read all your kind words!! Its soo nice to know that there are people out there who know and can understand how i am feeling and wat i have been through.

well me and my ex started talking the other day... he was trying to get me back (again.....) and was saying how badly he wanted a familiy with me and to be with me for the rest of his life.... it hurt because even though i dont want to be with him anymore wat he says he wants now is wat i wanted from him 2 years ago!! but deep down i know i can never feel that way twords him anymore. i debated on talking to him about the m/c but havent yet... i am scared that it will just be something for him to throw back in my face ....

but i did talk to a close friend that i have only recently met and she was soo supportive and understanding... (much like you Guys have been) and when i started crying she just hugged me and let me get the tears out....

 

[cleckner04]

I just now saw this thread. I just wanted to so that I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found a friend that is willing to listen. Sometimes it is hard finding others that understand.