losing hope...

[Sterns]

I could really use someone to talk to, and some advise from others who are where i am. I am getting pretty depressed. I am 24 years old, everyone keeps telling me to be patient, it will happen, stop trying and it will happen, you're young, it will happen....as most of you know, that doesn't make you feel better. I don't want to have to wait any longer. I am finally marrying my fiance, in just 21 weeks, and i want to make him a father again. He is 48 and already a father to a son, who is older than i am. I have kind of talked to my dr about my fertility issues. She told me the first step was to get him checked. He did, physical and the sperm test. Everything was fine, he can still have children, which is GREAT news to me. On the other hand, i feel like a failure. Afterall, i am only 24, half his age. I should be able to get pregnant, no problem.....HA! I have it in my mind that i don't need medicine to help get pregnant, that i can lose weight and excersice to get my body to do it's job. Maybe that is all i need, i am a little overweight. I've read books, talked to others i know who are trying, researched tips, all of which are making me even more anxious. I also have a crazy theory in the back of my mind that i can't get pregnant until i am the wife. Maybe that will be my reward for doing things right. Or maybe i am being punished because of premarital sex and living together before marriage. All these toughts make me even more sad, which then makes me try even harder to track my ovulation and have sex at the right time, which then leads to the obsession and disappointment when i get my period..... I never thought i would have any problem getting pregnant, but this is really getting me down. My heart breaks a little more every month, or when i find out someone who doesn't even want a baby gets pregnant with no problem. Maybe i really am a failure....Next step i think will be heading back to the dr for all the tests and talk of medications.

 

[Twinkie210]

I could really use someone to talk to, and some advise from others who are where i am. I am getting pretty depressed. I am 24 years old, everyone keeps telling me to be patient, it will happen, stop trying and it will happen, you're young, it will happen....as most of you know, that doesn't make you feel better. I don't want to have to wait any longer. I am finally marrying my fiance, in just 21 weeks, and i want to make him a father again. He is 48 and already a father to a son, who is older than i am. I have kind of talked to my dr about my fertility issues. She told me the first step was to get him checked. He did, physical and the sperm test. Everything was fine, he can still have children, which is GREAT news to me. On the other hand, i feel like a failure. Afterall, i am only 24, half his age. I should be able to get pregnant, no problem.....HA! I have it in my mind that i don't need medicine to help get pregnant, that i can lose weight and excersice to get my body to do it's job. Maybe that is all i need, i am a little overweight. I've read books, talked to others i know who are trying, researched tips, all of which are making me even more anxious. I also have a crazy theory in the back of my mind that i can't get pregnant until i am the wife. Maybe that will be my reward for doing things right. Or maybe i am being punished because of premarital sex and living together before marriage. All these toughts make me even more sad, which then makes me try even harder to track my ovulation and have sex at the right time, which then leads to the obsession and disappointment when i get my period..... I never thought i would have any problem getting pregnant, but this is really getting me down. My heart breaks a little more every month, or when i find out someone who doesn't even want a baby gets pregnant with no problem. Maybe i really am a failure....Next step i think will be heading back to the dr for all the tests and talk of medications.

I kind of know how you feel. My husband and I have been TTC for a year, with an early MC in August. I kind of feel like a failure, I am only 29! I feel like maybe I am being punished for having a child out of wedlock (me and DH have an 8 year old son). Like I got to keep the baby I didn't try for so God took the one that I desperately tried for! I am almost sure that our problem is with me, since I have irregular cycles and am being treated for low progesterone (which could have been the cause of my MC). I am currently 6 dpo and I am waiting to see how this cycle goes (my last cycle was only 21 days and my LP was only 7 days with mediciation), then if no BFP I am calling my Dr. and booking an appt. I just feel like something should have happened by now!

 

[uwa_amanda]

I feel ya. I really do. I sobbed in my DH's arms last night after the made her appearance that I am nothing but a failure. I, too, feel like I am being punished. I thought for sure that this would be our month since we've supposedly timed everything right. My doctor doubled my Clomid to 100 mg for the first cycle last month so I figured it would do the trick. My friends act like they don't give two shits about me. They either say relax it'll happen or you can always play with my kids. I am so sick of all this too. We've been trying for over five years and I have reached the breaking point. This ttc stuff is really breaking me. Hopefully for you, you will be able to give your soon to be husband a baby. It doesn't appear that I'll be able to give mine one.

 

[kaye]

You have just put down in words what it is that i am also feeling.
It awful roller coaster this trying to conceive and know totally how you are feeling.

How long have you been trying? Maybe another trip to the doctors is needed. Have you had your cd21 bloods done to see if your ovulating? That would be first thing they check and then maybe your tubes.

i have had my tests but now the Dr at the hospital have said they will not help me until my bmi is at least 30. Some serious dieting and excercise is needed now for me. So if as you say your are a little overweight they might say a similar thing to you.


sending you hugs & lots of baby dust, hope you get your BFP very soon xx

 

[DragonTamer]

Hun I know exactly how you feel! I had very similar thoughts going through my head for the last 4.5yrs. I thought I would never see a BFP ever but I just did when I was least expecting it (yesterday) I will send baby dust your way, I hope you the best of luck!

 

[Sterns]

I am so glad i am not alone! You all just made my day a little better. We have been trying-ish for the last 5 years, but really trying for the last year. My bmi is like 56, i just started a weightloss plan/compitition 2 weeks ago. I have already lost almost 10 pounds, so hopefully by our wedding night i can be skinny enough to concieve! Good luck to all of you as well, and thanks for replying. It really is a good feeling knowing i'm not completely alone.

 

[uwa_amanda]

How are you feeling today Sterns?

 

[Princess Lou]

I am 24 years old, everyone keeps telling me to be patient, it will happen, stop trying and it will happen, you're young, it will happen....as most of you know, that doesn't make you feel better.

I hate it when people say that. I was 21 when we started and I am 25 now. I also had the 'perfect' BMI (don't anymore).

Being young does not mean we are super fertile like he whole world expect us to be and the sooner the rest of the world realises that the better.

Oh, it gets me sooooo angry.

Good luck with your journey. If people keep saying

be patient, it will happen, stop trying and it will happen, you're young, it will happen

do what I did. I punched one person and word soon got around not to say anything to me. (I wasn't planning on doing it, I was very stressed and angry, it happened before I could stop myself and I don't regret it.)

 

[crystallite62]

I get so irritated when people tell me I am trying to hard or it's not happening because I am too stressed. Someone even told me God doesn't give you what you can't handle. Seriously?? Saying things like that to someone who has been TTC is so hurtful. I am surrounded by pregnant people and most of them weren't even trying!! It's so frustrating!!