Loss at 16/17 weeks after feeling no movement - my story

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by Ella_Hopeful, May 1, 2022.

  1. Ella_Hopeful

    Ella_Hopeful Mom to 5 inc. b/g twins. RPL sufferer.

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    I decided it's about time I write up my story.

    About a month ago, I had a perfect 14 week scan that showed a perfect baby, we saw its fingers and toes and its beautiful profile - the technician even commented as to how good of a view we got, and printed off an amazing picture for us.

    I usually start feeling movement at 15 weeks exactly - very definite movement that even other people can feel if they put their hand low down on my stomach.

    This time - 15 weeks came and went - I kept telling myself maybe my placenta is in a different place, or my uterus is positioned differently to with previous pregnancies, and I'm sure there is a good reason. I was busy with my other kids, who I am very thankful for, and didn't have much time to relax. Then, at 16 weeks, we went as a family to stay with my husband's parents for a few days, as a vacation. It was the first time I could just take a nap or relax - and when I did that, I realized I really, really couldn't feel any movement at all. I got more and more panicked as our stay went on.

    At just over 16 weeks, after we came home from our trip, in the evening - I told my husband I just couldn't manage one more day not knowing what was going on - and I was sure it must be bad. I called an ultrasound technician who does home visits and she said she could be there in 1.5 hours. When she arrived, I told her the story - how I usually feel movement, and I was starting to worry too much.

    She started doing the scan - and anyone who has been through a missed miscarriage will know - the silence told me the answer I was dreading - my baby no longer had a heartbeat. The technician was very supportive, and also amazed that I could tell so early that something was wrong based on lack of movement. My husband was in disbelief - he was sure the scan would be just for reassurance. I've had previous losses and tend to worry a lot. In fact, this is my third loss this year.

    The technician told us it was a little girl, and gave me a report to take to my doctor.

    The next day, I couldn't face going to get seen, I just stayed home and cried all day. I couldn't believe how I had gone through 3 months of nausea and exhaustion, not being able to be a good mommy to my other kids, and now it was going to be over.

    The following day, I went and got the beaurocracy done - I saw my doctor, got another scan to confirm the loss (that was hard) - I did a lot of crying in public. Then, I was sent straight to the hospital as the baby had already been gone a while, and I am rhesus negative. In the hospital, I had to go through admission at the ER, then the women's ER - by the time I got put on the gyn ward, it had been 8 hours of waiting, including three doctors visits, three nurses visits, and three scans. I was exhausted. In the ward, I was sharing a room with a woman who was 9 weeks pregnant and there after having a cyst removed. I was told I would deliver my baby in the room - I felt bad for the other woman that she would have to witness that.

    After a few tests, they gave me two cytotec pills by mouth, and I got cramps and chills almost right away. After four hours I still only had mild pains, so they gave me another dose. Within two hours I had worsening cramps, and delivered the baby, in its sac. It looked perfect. The nurse called for the doctor, as the placenta wouldn't come out by itself. I lay there for a good 20 minutes with the baby just there on the bed in front of me, while I waited. They cut the cord, took the baby away, and I was wheeled down for a D&C.

    6 hours post D & C, I returned home, and have basically cried every day since.
     
  2. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs:
     
  3. NightFlower

    NightFlower Trying for last baby I'm hoping for a girl

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    I'm so sorry u had to go through that. My sister went through something similar. Lost her baby at 23 weeks. Then She had a healthy baby soon after. He's a Healthy 6 year old now.
     
  4. Fuchsia1412

    Fuchsia1412 Due in Nov 2021 with No.5

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    Thank you for sharing your story <3
    I'm so sorry that this happened, and that you had the extra trauma of having to be with other people (and a pregnant woman no less) whilst it happened. I hope you can get a little headspace to breathe and grieve, though that's very very hard with other children (I have 5 also)
     
  5. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney TTC Another Rainbow Baby at 42 years old

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    Oh love I’m literally sat here in tears reading ure story.
    What a horrible horrible thing to have to go through.
    I’ve had alot of loses but all in the first trimester. To lose a baby in the 2nd trimester is absolutely gut wrenching.
    I am so so sorry love. Sorry doesn’t even cut it.
    I’m just so heart broken for you.
    Sending you the biggest and warmest hugs.
    U are in my thoughts
     

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