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Loss at 3rd trimester... when did you start trying again?

xakikox

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I delivered my sleeping baby at 35+6. It's been a little over 2 months since then and my period had returned. I want so badly to try again, but my husband wants to wait the 6 months that the doctor recommended. For those that had a late loss, when did you start trying again?
 
I don't have any advice for you. But I wanted to say I'm so so sorry about your loss. Massive :hugs:
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost Max in Jan at 41+4. I started trying again within 6 weeks, as I'm sure you know the desperation to hold a living baby in your arms exceeds all logic. It took me 18 months to conceive Max and almost 9 months later I still haven't gotten q bfp. I'm attending a fertility clinic now to regulate my hormones. In some ways I'm glad I didn't get pregnant right away as I am more able to cope with stresses now but I really hope it happens soon. Pregnancy after stillbirth is a terrifying experience but I think it would be regardless of whether it's 2 months or 2 years later. Do what feels right. Big hugs. By the way I've been writing a blog (in sig) if you'd ever like to read it. The most important thing I've done is to find support and understanding from other bereaved parents. Xxx
 
I'm sorry for your loss, the truth is the doctors say to wait because of the emotional distress that has occurred, but in reality you can start after a month or so.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss :hugs: x

I was told by my dr I could start trying again after a couple of months. I was desperate to be pregnant again, so we tried for 2 cycles, but I was struggling a bit emotionally, so decided to take a month or two off. When we started trying again it took me about 4 cycles to fall pregnant.

Really hope you soon get your rainbow baby x
 
My heart goes out to you :hugs:

It is always heartbreaking to read stories like this. I've experienced 3 first trimester losses and they were traumatizing, I couldn't imagine the pain you must be feeling almost going to full term.

Anyways, as to your question, my doctor told me that I could start trying as soon as I felt ready, not only physically but emotionally as well. Since you almost went full term it is probably more like a birth than a miscarriage though so I don't know if that makes a difference, however I became pregnant with my DS only 3 periods after I gave birth to my DD so I would say if you feel like you've grieved long enough, go ahead and start whenever you feel ready. Three cycles is usually what doctors recommend for any kind of loss.
 
I lost my son at 35+1. My dr told me to wait three cycles. I've only had two cycles so far but we are trying again this cycle. I just can't wait any longer. I'm desperate to have a baby. I feel like my body is basically back to normal so I feel confident that I am ok to start trying again.
 
carrc28, I think it's important to trust our bodies

I just met with my doctor last week after a loss at 35 weeks which took place 22 days ago and she said that because of my age I really shouldn't wait. She said currently I shouldn't be preventing, and that I should start really trying after three cycles. So, basically, I'm sort of trying on my first cycle, but I won't track anything for a couple more cycles.

xakikox, I am really sorry that either one of us has to think about this sort of thing. I really empathize with feeling the need to try again right away. From my research, the main reason they tell us to wait for so long is emotional - the longer we wait the less likely it is to have postpartum depression after the successful pregnancy. But, I think what thumpette said is true - two months or two years, I'm going to feel those feelings anyway. So, if the research is correct, depending on your age it might be emotionally beneficial to wait. Or, it might be better to try right away if you're older. Also, there is increased fertility in the cycles after a loss, so our chances are better if we try right away in the next several cycles.

Perhaps you could talk to your doctor about why they recommended you wait so long? Depending on the reasons it might help you reassure your husband that it's ok to start sooner.

edit - I just realized I'm a few months late to respond to this. xakikox, I'm interested in what you decided to do. Carrc you're only a month ahead of me on this awful journey. I'm glad I found this thread today, as I was having a very weepy morning. But having to compose my thoughts to create a coherent post really helped calm me down <3
 

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