Lost baby @ 14 weeks. What happens next??

[MissKiedis]

Hi

We recently found out our baby girl has gone to heaven. I was 14 weeks pregnant when her heart stopped. She had a 2cm cystic hygroma, lots of fluid under the skin and Turner Syndrome. We knew about the TS two weeks ago and opted to continue with the pregnancy but nature has decided it wasn't meant to be.

I went to hospital today to take a tablet to get my body prepared for Tuesday when I'm going in to 'deliver' the baby/fetus. What actually happens? Is it really painful? I'm terrified. They have said we can name the baby and decide what funeral arrangements etc I never expected this. I thought I would have d&c but I don't know.
I already have a 4 year old daughter who has helped me stay strong but I'm really worried about what I'm going to experience on Tuesday. Also how long is the general recovery period ie how long to stay off work. What does a 14 week fetus look like should I agree to see her or not??

Best wishes


Gillian

 

[MaevesMummy]

Hi Sorry to hear about your little girl.
It must be incerdibly frightening for you. The birth will be much like a normal full term birth, but will be less painfull and perhaps less hard work for your body as the baby is smaller. You will have to deliver the placenta too.
You should be given a coice of holding your baby, photo's and perhaps they might be able to do foot prints for you.
The hospital might give you a memory box and give you contact details for sands.

Lots of love and wishing you strength in the coming weeks. Love to your little angel too.
xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Jox]

Huge i am so sorry for ur loss of ur little girl

Ur little girl will probably fit in the palm of ur hand. She will have her arms, legs, fingers and toes, you may also b able to see her facial features.

It is ur decision if u would like to see her. U could always have some time after she is born then ask to see her later Altho (hope u don't mind me being honest) she will deteriorate quickly.

She will b too teeny for clothes so maybe buy her a pretty little blanket to be wrapped in?

I hope ur delivery is as gentle as it can b. From others i believe the labour is very similar to normal labour but delivery is a little easier with her being smaller.

Will b thinking of u xxx

 

[babesx3]

Firstly so sorry for your loss
I was thinking of what to say then i remembered when i lost my baby i found reading someones elses experience was very helpful..
i'll post a link to my pregnancy journal with charlie so u can read my birth story, you'll need to scroll down to the end of page 39 for the birth story... i hope it helps prepare you XXX
https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-journals/347687-rip-baby-charlie-upsetting-birth-story-39.html

Massive

 

[marnie79]

im so sorry hun. hope its all as gentle as can be xx

 

[Peril]

I'm so sorry. I had to deliver my 17 week pregnancy in Feb 2010 as I was too far gone for a D&C (I had D&C's on the previous 2 pregnancies). I will be honest and say that the D&C was less traumatic and less painful. However, the nursing staff were great when i delivered, they gave me the option of seeing the baby or not. I chose not. I wanted the memory of my LO as i had it, a personal choice. They offered to take pictures so that if at any point i wanted to see him i could. They also offered a memento box with hand prints/foot prints etc.

I wish you all the best

 

[Groovychick]

So sorry for your loss hun.

 

[MissKiedis]

Well thank god that's all over now......
I was so so scared about going into hospital yesterday but it was all over so quickly.

I wasn't given the option for a D&C, they gave me a tablet & told me to return to hospital 48 hours later which I did. To say I was terrified was a bit of an understatement, going to the Maternity Unit knowing I would be leaving WITHOUT a baby was heartbreaking. Once in our cosy room on the labour ward the midwife put 4 tablets up inside my front passage to soften the cervix. Peter fell asleep next to me while I watched tv in between falling asleep. I felt some mild pain but it was nothing like period pain and nowhere near what a contraction feels like.

Anyway, after an hour my mum phoned, I then felt a ping inside me and went to the toilet where I saw brownish water & guessed my waters must have broke. I thought it was still going to take ages as the midwives said they may need to give me pills every 4 hours etc and it can take a while. So Peter & I went outside for a walk when I could feel
blood trickling from me. I hobbled back to my room & Peter went upstairs for a drink.
I was sitting on the toilet when i felt something, I looked down and saw a tiny
little baby dangling from me - for some reason I just sat there looking at her with a smile on my face. Peter came back & I said 'er Peter I've got a baby in my hand' ha.
Peter literally bolted out of the door & came back with two midwives who couldn't believe how calm and happy I seemed.

Peter said the difference in me was like night and day right from that moment. I was
feeling great & like a huge weight had been lifted. But then i felt guilty for feeling happy
I guess that must be normal?

The midwife asked us if we wanted to see her & we did. We called her Holly. She was so tiny, her hands were the size of my pinky nail.

We called her Holly. The hospital are going to arrange for her to be buried at the local baby cemetery which is local to where we live. They also gave me two photos and a pink blanket.
They couldn't do her hand' & footprints because @ just 14 weeks she was far too delicate and fragile. God bless her.
Peter asked them why they do all this for a really early pregnancy as thinks it's a bit much. The midwife just explained that it's nice for the parents to choose what happens to their baby & they know where it is etc unlike 30 years ago, the mums have no idea where their babies are.
I had fairly bad stomach cramps yesterday afternoon and evening but today it has totally eased up.
Fingers crossed the bleeding stops soon.

It's a relief that the birth wasn't traumatic and/or painful & I'm really glad I caught her before she went down the toilet pan.

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words and support over the last few weeks, it's really appreciated.

Best wishes to you all


Lots of love from Gillian

 

[babesx3]

It sounds a lovely calm birth... well done u for staying calm, glad u got to spend some time with your little girl...
Sleep tight little Holly

 

[BabyQ]

I am so sorry for what you have been through, you are so brave, an inspiration.

Sleep tight holly darling xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[MaevesMummy]

So brave. Love to you and Holly your little angel.
They treat any baby born in the second Trimester as a baby now, not like years ago.
Lots of love to you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kanga]

I'm so sorry you lost little Holly. It sounds like you did amazing, I hope you are recovering well xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[secretbaby]

((((hugs)))) - I am so glad that things weren't traumatic and that you felt such a sense of peace when you delivered your darling Holly (beautiful name). I think your story will really help others who, sadly, have to go through the same situation x Thinking of you, Peter and holly x

 

[debgreasby]

 

[RubyRainbows]

Holly is a beautiful name! Lots of hugs & floaty kisses for your angel!

 

[baileykenz]

well done hun..
what a lovely name...
take care x

 

[hollyrose]

i'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl.
sleep in peace baby holly.

 

[xSamanthax]

So sorry for your loss hun, it sounds like it was a nice calm delivery. You are really brave

 

[medicmama]

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your little girl Having been through that experience before, I can completely relate. I'm so glad her birth was calm and healing for you. One of my biggest regrets is opting not to see my daughter after she was delivered.

I hope things are easy on you in the weeks and months to come.

xoxo

 

[cla]

Sleep tight Holly xxxxx