Lovely taste in men I have

[Dream.dream]

So this current belly babies dad threw a got today , he got to feel baby move and then got mad at me and decided to let me know he's decided that he wants nothing to do with me and said either I can give baby up for adoption , I can keep it I want but he will only pay child support if I file for It and he never wants to see the baby , because he doesn't want to be a dad unless he can be there 100% of the time

I don't get that how can you not want to ever see your baby? Can't decide whether its better he never wants to be Involved because my first dad did a crappy half hearted attempt to be "around" and then buggered off

 

[daneuse27]

Oh god... Im so sorry He sounds like a total prick. Your baby is better off without him in his life!

 

[Mummy1995]

What a complete arsehole I agree, probably better he's never around than he floats in and out confusing your baby xx

 

[Dezireey]

I always say to ladies on this board that baby is way better off without such a tool of a Dad. It's so true. Very hard to see that in the beginning but bringing up a child in a happy environment where they are loved totally by their Mum and maybe other family is a far, far better option in life than having a Father in it part-time who couldn't care less about them or puts his own needs before his kids. It just makes sense for the best development of a child to have at the very least a consistent loving father or father at home than one who is absent / abusive / doesn't care etc etc.

I am one of those people who thinks better to have no father in your life than one who breaks your heart in pieces and damages your soul on a regular basis. Its just a no brainer, some may disagree but that's my honest opinion.

 

[Breezybaby80]

I'm in the same situation Hun, I tried to make him see sense for babies sake but now realise that I can't make him want his son (we werent in a Relationship was a quick fling) I'm not even sure if ill bother trying to claim child support cos that means he will have to do a dna test and then I don't know what rights he has if he one day decided to come into his life not that I think he will but I want my son to have a settled stable life without his crap

 

[Dream.dream]

Thing is he wants to see him but I only of we are together and he gets to be dad every day but its a complete crock. He's being rediculous.

Doesn't matter either way to me really they are my boys.

 

[Breezybaby80]

Sounds like he's using the child as a random type thing then :/

 

[Dream.dream]

Think he's trying to manipulate me into a relationship with him really because he knows I lie the baby and want a good life for him. Honestly before this never doubted his ability to be a good dad because he was good with my other son and other people's kids

He says he love the baby too but if he can't be a full time did he doesn't ever want to see him, doesn't want to be at his birth or even get pictures of him.

In general I don't get how men can have children and not see them ever . It would kill me knowing I had a child out there I never saw

 

[Mummy1995]

To be honest I'd notify him when your son is born and send him a picture. If he still doesn't care I'd leave him to it!

 

[Dream.dream]

Yeah I put alot of effort into trying to make my first sons dad care and help him be a good dad and didn't do alot of good , so don't think I'll push this one .might actually be easier on both of them that they both don't have a dad then my older boy doesn't feel like he's missing out .

Plus I get to do some fun stuff by myself got to have another ultrasound yesterday and got to see my little peanut suck his thumb some more and see his cute little face again

 

[Mummy1995]

Aww that's so exciting!! I miss having scans they're incredible! X

 

[Breezybaby80]

Think he's trying to manipulate me into a relationship with him really because he knows I lie the baby and want a good life for him. Honestly before this never doubted his ability to be a good dad because he was good with my other son and other people's kids

He says he love the baby too but if he can't be a full time did he doesn't ever want to see him, doesn't want to be at his birth or even get pictures of him.

In general I don't get how men can have children and not see them ever . It would kill me knowing I had a child out there I never saw

I don't get how men can be like that either! Fob doesn't wanna know about his son at all and I think he thinks if he don't see pics etc then he's not real!

 

[Dream.dream]

Think he's trying to manipulate me into a relationship with him really because he knows I lie the baby and want a good life for him. Honestly before this never doubted his ability to be a good dad because he was good with my other son and other people's kids

He says he love the baby too but if he can't be a full time did he doesn't ever want to see him, doesn't want to be at his birth or even get pictures of him.

In general I don't get how men can have children and not see them ever . It would kill me knowing I had a child out there I never saw

I don't get how men can be like that either! Fob doesn't wanna know about his son at all and I think he thinks if he don't see pics etc then he's not real!

Guess denial is easier for them. He's changed his mind now but I expect him to change it back again at some point. To be honest I knewwhen I found out I was pregnant that in the end I'm the only one who will ever be responsible for caring and providing for my children, and I choose to keep him for myself anyways .

Even if he doesn't want him I'm at peace with it . I love my sons an I will provide for them and they will always have good male role models because I have my brother/ brother in law and stepdad and 4 uncles ,

While I wish he could have a dad and its a good thing from him to know where he comes from , he doesn't need a dad of he has strong attachments with lots of people who love him .