Low Self Esteem

[thesockqueen]

I'm going to be a terrible mother
I have low self esteem, always have done. I honestly don't know what event in my life triggered it, but for as long as I can remember I've been immensely down on myself. I just don't feel as if I can do anything, I'm so painfully average that even my best efforts will always go unnoticed.
I did fairly well at school, but I will always remember the annual awards, and having to go through five years of watching every single person in my year win an award for something while I was always forgotten. I played the piano for 8 years. I never took grades, the thought of playing in front of someone other than my teacher petrified me (I have stage fright and rejection issues), and I never thought I was good enough. I stalled at around grade 5 level, never managing to advance further before I eventually got bored and gave up. I studied animals at college (and passed)...but getting a job in the animal industry is notoriously hard, and after a bad work placement experience and a bad interview at a vets I decided it was just another thing I wasn't cut out for. In all of my jobs I have worked so hard and put in so many hours, and always had to watch others advance while I stayed at the same level. I've been screwed over by bosses making promises they had no intention of keeping. I've never really had proper dreams and aspirations, I feel as if I can't work towards anything, I just get stuck and give up, or figure that there's someone around who's better so there's no point in trying. For the most part of my pregnancy I have been looking forward to being a mother, but today it just hit me...what if I don't cut it at that either?! The most important decision I have ever made and I screw it up. I feel as if the whole world is watching, waiting for me to make mistakes that they can point out (especially the father, who would actively enjoy watching me struggle). My friends and family know I have these issues and instead of being supportive I just hear the same old lines, such as 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' and 'you'll be fine'...I don't want to come across as doing as being self pitying, but I am just so scared. There's so many things in my life that I can't do, I just hope this isn't one of them

 

[Jinty]

I've always had low self esteem too but I'm guessing not as bad as you
You should try doing something about it, maybe try doing something you enjoy and feel confident in. Or just try talking to someone...not your family and friends as they are not supportive. Seeing a professional could help and if you feel like you can't face someone about your problem think it would help you feel like your a good mum. I'm not saying you aren't a good mum but feeling confident in yourself is a lot healthier then putting yourself down about it. After giving birth can be VERY emotional especially if you don't have the support.
If this didn't help then a little reasurance (sp?) before my LO I didn't like kids at all! But once she was born the maternity instinct kicks in and just that is enough to say your a good mum
Just posting your problem shows how determined you are to be a good mum
Hope you solve your problem Good Luck xxxx

 

[Sweetie]

Try to keep people around you who are supportive and you can talk to. I heard something somewhere the other day that no one can be a perfect parent but you CAN be the best partent you can be. I have confidence that you will be wonderful