luck just not on board :(

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by vaniilla, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. vaniilla

    vaniilla Well-Known Member

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    sorry everyone for the rant coming :( I'm not in any way trying to be bitter or jealous its just for women tt1 luck really is not with it, not only are 50% of 1st pregnancies turned into mc but you're much less likely to get pregnant than women who already have 1 although its not always the case :( everywhere I look its just :bfp:'s even here its full of announcements, I am happy for everyone got theirs but it just makes me feel so alone and empty, like thats a joy I'll never be able to have :( I practically ruined my oh's day being miserable, I just don't know what to do :( sorry for the long rant :cry: just having a rock bottom week :(
     
  2. bernina

    bernina Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear you're feeling blue. Definitely been there before but I know it doesn't make it any easier hearing others say they have felt the same thing.

    The only advice I can offer after ttc for 15+ mos and 2 mc's is that you can't let ttc rule your life. I'm not saying I always listen to my own advice, but I do believe I'm becoming more accepting that it will happen for me, but it's obviously going to take a bit longer and be a bit more work than some of the lucky ones. I started out being totally jealous of friends and coworkers who were preg, but now I just try to feel joy and also remember that all of those women have stories behind their pregnancies that may be much worse than mine.

    This month I started charting my temps and cervical mucus and I have to say it has been a great help for me emotionally and physically. Not only am I beginning to understand my body better and learn to listen to what it's telling me, but I have met SO MANY supportive women to go on this crazy journey with. Some are only a few months into trying, others have been here much longer than me.

    I would really recommend that you read up on Fertility Friend and learn all about charting. Get yourself a good thermometer, read lots of the posts on this board. I see that you have about 5 days until ovulation which means if you start soon you may actually get to see your temp shift and take full advantage of charting. You have a long cycle with 40 days and I think that charting will really help you to pinpoint when to do the BD and maximize your chances. It will also help you to discover potential problems (like you're not ovulating, you have a short luteal phase, etc).

    If you're interested in charting take a look at this thread I started, I tried to put some basic information in the very first post and there are some very lovely ladies on there happy to help out and stalk your chart for you!!!
    https://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/228332-new-charting-join-other-newbies-here.html

    I probably sound like a charting salesman (or whacko!), I just think that so many people miss their peak fertile times and charting is a fairly simple way to remove one more obstacle from ttc.

    Hang in there hun, you're in a great place since you're yet to ovulate, still a chance for a BFP in 2009!!! Sending loads of baby dust to you and happier days ahead!!! :hugs:
     
  3. ablacketer

    ablacketer Just Call Me Angel :)

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    HUGS! Im ttc #3 after the first one being a booboo and the second with no real "trying" and I totally understand. Weve been off BC 11 months now. be happy to be a "buddy" with you :)
     
  4. vaniilla

    vaniilla Well-Known Member

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    thank you so much for the support it means alot to know there are such nice people out there. I bough a basal thermometer but it all seemed so daunting and I kept waking up at different times, I can be a bit slow so I will read and re read your post on charting until I understand it. I don't have a clue when I will ovulate, I put in 40 days cycle because that has been my longest one so far but it can vary anything from 30-40 so I'm totally clueless about ovulation. Bernia you're a star!!! thanks for taking the time to reply. I'm in what could be midcycle so I'm not sure if I can start charting this late? or would it be okay? ablackaeter I think being buddies would be great :) I've yet to find another job so I'm always around :)
     
  5. bernina

    bernina Well-Known Member

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    Hi Vanilla! I would start charting as soon you feel ready. Even if you're in midcycle as long as you get a few readings before you ovulate then you may still get a chance to see the jump in temperature that happens the day after ovulation. At the very least it will help get you used to temping.

    I'd really recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (link to Amazon on my previous thread). It gives tons of examples and photos (the cervix photos are GROSS!) and lots of different sample charts to look at. And make sure to join www.fertilityfriend.com it's the best place to keep track of all the craziness charting involves.

    To make it work you really only need to take your temp at around the same time each morning and keep an eye on your cervical mucus. Once you start looking you'll realize it's pretty easy to keep track of when you use the loo. And even if you wake at different times you can still get a good chart, the trick is to look at the overall trend and not one or two erroneous readings. And luckily Fertility Friend takes care of that for you (and it's free!).

    If you have any questions when starting out, just post them. There's always someone around to provide an answer (especially with all the diff timezones on the board!)

    :hugs:!
     
  6. vermeil

    vermeil Mom to 27 week wonder+DD

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    hello!

    I know it's hard but try not to let it get to you. easier said that done huh. I just tried to rationalize it out - the vast majority of women will get their bfp in a reasonable amount of time (about 6-12 months). Those who have obstacles, well, the majority of those can be treated one way or another.

    (Imagine if everyone got pregnant the first month - the world would be overpopulated by now so I tell myself it's a good thing we're not THAT fertile =p )

    Just take things one day at a time. Read up on the subject and yes post any questions you might have.

    I'm 37 and after 7 months, got really discouraged and went to a fertility clinic. Cried for hours just at the thought I could actually not be able to conceive. Had to wait 2 weeks for AF to show up to start all the tests. I was getting annoyed because it was 2 days late... turns out I was already pregnant before even going to the dang clinic :haha:
     

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