Lying??????

[v2007]

My eldest is driving me to distraction.

She has started lying.

2 weeks ago we went to Southport for the weekend to Camp ASBO (Pontins)

She took her mobile.

Anyway we came back last Monday and unpacked everything.

Last Thurs, i wanted her to text Shaun as i had run out of cred and she said can i not text from your mobe, i said no i have no credit!!

So then she said well Katie was playing with it, i dont know where it is, i told her to go look for it.

She then 'looked' for it.

She then said i havent seen it since Monday

I asked her did she remember putting it in the car when we left, she just shrugged her shoulders!!!!

By this point, i said well why didnt you tell me, again shrugs her shoulders.

She then tried to blame my best friend that she had it.....

So 1st she blamed Katie then Rhiann

She got a rollocking and told she wasn't getting a replacement.

Anyway to get to the point.

She started HS last week and wanted to learn an instrument.

So i paid a small fortune for her to learn the violin.

After the mobile fiasco i told her she wasn't allowed to do it.

Well after a so-so weekend i said she could go.

On Tuesday was her 1st lesson.

I asked her on Tuesday how her lesson went and she said they just learned about the lessons.

Anyway cut to today.

Letter in the post from school saying she didn't attend the lesson and could i find out what happened.

I am fuming with her.

I am so sick of her lying.

What angers me more is that she knew her mobile was missing and she let me go and buy her new stationary and stuff for school.

And again this week, i had to buy her football boots and trainers for Gym after she had lied about attending music lessons.

Just needed to write it all down and has anyone else got tweens who lie ther little arses off.

V xx

 

[Bunnipowder]

I first thought that prehaps she had lied about her phone as she was worried to tell you thinking she was going to get into trouble. But as for the violin lessons that is worrying where did she go instead of the lesson? and did she hand the money in for the lessons or has she used it for something else... just a thought did you see her with the phone while you was away? Don't want to jump to bad conclusions but with starting a new school prehaps she could have come across a "mean" child hence the "lost" phone.

 

[v2007]

She deffo had the phone while we were away as i checked her messages.

I paid for the violin lessons.

As for where she went when the lesson were on, i have no idea.

Will be finding out when she gets in thou.

V xxx

 

[laura1991]

I think she would have been worried about telling you she lost it? I know when my sister whos 13 lost hers she was dreding telling my mum but she wasnt bothered because she had been up front? Maybe explain to her you'd like her to tell you so you can sort things rather than lying?

 

[candy3]

What I do is if I know my son is lying I promise not to punish him if he tells me the truth, as difficult as it is to stay calm it is worth it. When he owns up we talk about the situation.

I keep reminding all my kids that a liar always gets found out and it is embarrassing to be caught out

Just a thought has your daughter maybe been teased about learning the violin?

Good luck

 

[sarahdilan]

I've found that if my daughter opens her mouth its usually lies. I've now learnt to read between the lines ... My oh is an excellent lie detector that not only know the lie but exactly wot the truth is too ... Which is good cos i'm so easily lied too and takes me detective work to figure it out.
I've just had to be much more vigilant and so far its working.

 

[seoj]

Our kid is almost TOO honest with us... LOL... sometimes I wish she didn't tell us so much. BUT, there have been a couple times she lied (usually due to pressure from her Mom while she is in her care- which is only 2 weekends a month)-- and when she broke down and told us the truth we just made it VERY clear that trust is something you earn. That we won't be AS mad with her if she just tells us the truth from the get go- but if she lies, then we are less likely to trust her and won't let her do as many things.

Not sure that would help your kid... but maybe sit her down and have a good talk. Make sure she understand that you want to trust her and believe what she tells you- but that she needs to earn back that trust. That if she is caught lying again, there will be punishment for her actions (maybe decide before hand what that will be and let her know so she is fully aware).

We have our kids cell phone with parental controls- so usually her punishment would be putting her phone on lock down- so she can ONLY call family, no friends. Or making it so she can no longer text... as that is there "lifeline" at this age (our kid is 14), lol, it usually does the trick. Then she has to earn back her privileges.

Might just be a stage- but not one I would take lightly. All kids lie from time to time... I'm sure I did as a child, but I also knew it was much worse punishment when I lied than when I just came clean.

 

[JASMAK]

I have a niece that is very close to me, and she turns 13 on the 5th of October, in high school this year. She lies a bit, yes. She lies to get out of trouble. I guess I would try to sit down with her, and just get to the bottom of WHY she is lying. Other than that..I have no advice, as we are in unchartered territory too!!!