Making friends with other mums at the school gates?!

[LaDY]

Sooooo...mummys who have had their children in school for some time...did you make friends at the school gates? How? Did you feel rejected at any point by other mothers? Whats the best thing to do? Mummy's who's LO's have just started school...how are you geting on? Im slightly unsure on all this...x

 

[Shezza84uk]

I would say don't bother lol my daughter is yet to start next week but I saw my mum and aunt go through the bitchy play ground gossip rings that forms just before gates open and that is just awful.. I prefer to be in and out lol xx

 

[lisab1986]

I would say don't bother lol my daughter is yet to start next week but I saw my mum and aunt go through the bitchy play ground gossip rings that forms just before gates open and that is just awful.. I prefer to be in and out lol xx

My son starts school tomorrow..hes been at the nursery at the school for a few weeks before they broke up for the holidays and i must say i have also seen the cliques and bitchy parents.
I do feel as though im at a loss as we have just moved to the area and everyone knows each other and are really close etc. I do worry that when my kids are at school i will be home alone and not have anyone to talk to etc but i would much rather be in and out and not bitch about anyone or hang around for hours on end gabbing in a lil group lol

 

[Dragonfly]

Nah I am a loner I don't bother with that sort of stuff.

 

[jam-on-toast]

My daughter attended the nursery attached to the school she started yesterday, so I already made a few friends with other Mums there.

To be honest with college and hectic lifestyle I don't have time to stand around looking other people up and down, sniggering or being judgemental!

If they like me then GREAT, if NOT, do one.

 

[Lois]

This really intrigues me. What is it about the school gates that supposedly turns mums and dads into cliquey bitches? What is it that they do that makes it clear they are bitchy cliques rather than just people who know each other chatting? Isn't it normal to stand and chat to people you know rather than wondering around trying to befriend those you don't know? Genuinely intrigued ( and slightly tempted to go and observe at the local school even though my kids aren't at that age yet!)

Lx

 

[whatwillbe]

I say hi to a few of the moms but thats it, my kids have not long started a new school and tbh im glad i dont get overly friendly with them, there is one group of parents who congregate together and i cant help but hear alot of the things they discuss, eg sex ect and the effing and blinding that comes out thier mouths ! Honestly i think to myself this is a school playground ! There is a time and a place ! One of the dads today i overheard making racsist comments, and i couldnt help but think they were aimed at me, my kids are mixed race, i felt like hitting him ! Sorry for ranting on your thread, but personally i prefer to keep to myself in the chool playground x

 

[vintage67]

{sigh} My son is 8 and started preschool at 3. We have attended 3 different schools and so far it has all been the same; cliques and more cliques. I've always had such high hopes of making friends and have tried so hard. Last May when school let out for the summer I made such cute little fliers and sent home with all the parents for summer playdates. Not one parent called. This is a real sore spot in my house. I've shed a lot of tears over the various rejections we have been through...and that our son has been through.

 

[JASMAK]

I have really good friends in my kids school, and before I started working, I was heavily involved helping out etc. I think you can find cliquey bitches anywhere...school, work, playground, playgroups...but there is nice normal people too! At my school anyways! I am off work right now, on medical, and am having the pleasure of seeing all my friends. There is some that choose to lurk at the edges of the school, and that is their choice....I welcome anyone wih a smile if they make the effort too!

 

[JASMAK]

{sigh} My son is 8 and started preschool at 3. We have attended 3 different schools and so far it has all been the same; cliques and more cliques. I've always had such high hopes of making friends and have tried so hard. Last May when school let out for the summer I made such cute little fliers and sent home with all the parents for summer playdates. Not one parent called. This is a real sore spot in my house. I've shed a lot of tears over the various rejections we have been through...and that our son has been through.

I have found summers hard as many are in camps, visiting relatives, camping etc. don't give up! Get to know the kids your child likes and personally ask their parents for playdates!

 

[LaDY]

Thanks everyone for your replies...i have to say that so far i have met lovely people. I haven't made friends as such but i say hello to everyone and they are so kind...i would love to get to know everyone better but i think this will happen in good time. Tbh i wasn't sure if making friends at the school gate is a must iykwim? x

 

[hel_5]

Well DD1 started on monday, so far I've chatted to a couple of mums and got to know the parents of a girl that my DD is friends with (and they live across the road) and we have already had one playdate, BUT it's a small school (19 in the class) and it's in rural Ireland so im assuming that I will get to know most of the mums x

 

[going_crazy]

I'm almost coming out the other side.... My DD's are 10, 9 & 8, so are in years 6, 5 & 4. I always see the same cliques and groups in the playground, and I tend to avoid them like the plague.... I often overhear them gossiping about who has put on weight, who has lost their jobs, who has had the most expensive holidays etc (they are worse than the children!!) They can be very competitive and I'd rather not be involved!

I do say hi to most mums/dads though, and do the whole "did you have a nice weekend?" etc, but I wouldn't want to go out for a meal with most of them. There are one or two who I regularly speak to, but they don't know much about me personally and that suits me fine!

x

 

[WillowLeaves]

Sooooo...mummys who have had their children in school for some time...did you make friends at the school gates? How? Did you feel rejected at any point by other mothers? Whats the best thing to do? Mummy's who's LO's have just started school...how are you geting on? Im slightly unsure on all this...x

Especially where I live...there a lot of cliques. I don't have the latest Range Rover or Mercedes unfortunately so I was at disadvantage straight away

Honestly though there are some lovely people- just smile at someone and if they smile back it is usually OK to go and say hello. Another way is if your child/ren make friends with someone you can go up to the parent and say "I'm Xs mother, I believe your Ys mother?"

 

[WillowLeaves]

Also probably should add i'm quite outgoing and friendly so if there is a Mum sitting on their own i'm usually the first to go over and say hello.

 

[Amy_T]

I would say I've only made 1 proper friend - the mum of my daughter's best friend, my husband and I are quite close to both parents now which is nice. Other than that I speak to a few others about our children, holidays, weekend plans etc but don't see them other than at school or at parties. There are also others who have never spoken to me despite smiles etc, these are known by us as the WAGS (which is maybe slightly judgemental of us but they act that way)... the ones with the posh cars who dress up like they're going on a night out to do the school run and who look at you like you're something they stood in for wearing jeans, trainers etc!

 

[PixieM]

I find that as I am the youngest on the playground parent wise they assume i am a baby sitter / sister rather than mum and then even when they do realise i live in a town were most of the mums with 7 year olds are later 30's while I'm only 23, I'm lucky that i am born and bread in that town so do now some mums but won't be going over and saying hello but will say a passing hello. Also it does help working in my local co-op because a lot of the mums come in there so again it wont be so scary i think, but i do remember at my sons last school there was a really cliquey group that i annoyed because i booked my sons party on the same night as there karate classes and even when i tried to accommodate them they came up with excuses so i went with the same time and said screw them!

 

[LegoHouse]

I already had a network (lol) from nursery, plus Caitlyn's cousin is going there so her mum had friends too, who I'm now speaking to aswell so it's been pretty easy for me x

 

[LaDY]

I think its just so daunting when the other parents all know each other as their children have moved up from pre-school together...i find it a little scarey I guess as long as little one is happy then i am x

 

[Mummy2B21]

My mum used tp always say the mums at the school gate were all bitchy cliques and i never really knew what she meant as my mum had a few women shed regulary talk to but now im a mum when i go playgroups there are sometimes little cliques and you get that vibe i dont let it bother me though as i start talkig to others but some people look really uncomfortable and i can only imagine school playgrounds to be a lot worse it is quite daunting as i doubt ill kbow anyone when my son starts as were out our area but i normally deal with situations like that quite well but still quite daunting lol.