Making friends with other mums at the school gates?!

[sabby52]

When my eldest went to school I worked in the same area as his school and as it was a dentist I worked in most of the people in that area attended that Dentist and the first person they met when going into the dentist was me, so I sort of knew all the mummys and children anyway. I always talked to the mummys at the school and I was one of the ones that always knew all the gossip

When my youngest started nursery I childminded one of the little girls in his class and there was a few kids from our street in his class so again I knew most people there. Dec starts Primary school tomorrow and most of the kids that were in his nursery class are going to the same school so again I know most people lol

But I did have a time when I felt completely pushed out, Dec didnt get into our first playgroup place and I had to send him elsewhere, I knew nobody and nobody made an efford to get to know me, they all seems very bitchy and stuck up so I just kept myself to myself. I really couldnt be bothered with people like that. x

 

[xarlenex]

I currently feel like im on the recieving end of those 'cliques' just now. All but my son and another little boy went to the nursery on site so the rest of the parents know each other pretty well. One mother approached me to tell me Kyle was bullying her son and she wasn't putting up with it, I asked his name and its actually the little boy that my son tells me hes best friends with! I must also add kyle has just turned 4 in feb, this little boy is older and alot bigger/louder.. i'm not one of these mums who think their kid does no wrong, but hitting/name calling just isn't in his nature, so went to school who told me there was just one incident where my son told hers his work wasn't right, but she had him apologise afterwards.
Teacher also told me that they have dedicated monitors for primary 1 & 2 classes so I can be assured that Kyles not 'bullying' anyone as they'd know. I know shes been ranting about it, one of my neighbours told me about how 'evan cant get moving in the playground because another boy' she didn't realise it was my boy though. Apparently her son was bullied at nursery, so my guess is shes maybe putting words into his mouth unawares, or he's playing on the attention. Now as I head up to the gates I can see her group staring and its horrible, but I know shes not the type you can speak with so its not even worthwhile telling her what the teacher told me. She tried to get her son moved away from mines in the class too! But the teacher asked if its what he wants and he said no. I just dont know what to do!

 

[Shezza84uk]

Oh no I would speak to her with the teacher there! Honestly these mummy mafias are unbearable for this very reason I'm not interested in forming any friendship because I am not the gossip type but once you are dragged into a clique it becomes impossible to not be like them so I would humbly decline x

 

[evewidow]

I have made a lovely bunch of friends sine my ds1 went to school and we are not cliquey at all ( i hope ) . I always say hello to people as i think its polite. My son took a shine to one boy in preschool so i used to talk to his mom by saying oh they are good friends etc . Then he became friends with another boy just before the 1st school holidays , my son asked if the boy could paly but i still didnt know the moms so the 3 of us arranged to meet up at a local soft play so the boys could play with each other . It went from there really , a few party invites and a couple of years later i have made 2 very good friends and a whole bunch of other friends . I would just be polite and then start with the parents of the friends he likes best

 

[Wriggley]

I went with my friend to pick my god daughter up from her 2nd day of school. I was like OMG and now have no intention of talking to any mums at the school gate lol

 

[shellie]

I don't really speak to anyone in the playground. In the morning I just drop my son off and leave and in the afternoon I get there about 5 mins before he gets out an I just just stand to the side. One of the other mums always comes and makes a point of speaking to me, so I usually just have a chat with her, but I wouldnt say we were friends as such, shes really friendly but we just talk about whats happening in the school, not whats happening in our private lives. xxx

 

[clairew4]

I like to be in & out as quickly as possible when taking my son to school, it's his first time at 'big school', he went to the preschool and many of his friends from there are in his class, so I know the parents but I only chat or say hi to few of them, most of them seem up their own arses. I have exchanged numbers with one mum, who's lovely. It is horrible waiting about especially when everyone is chatting to each other and I'm being johnny no mates, it doesn't help with the fact I can be quite shy and feel awkward

 

[julietz]

I dont bother i get to the school on time and wait out side the school gates never go in, they know where i stand so they come straight to me, probably depends on ur kids age ofc if they are toddlers but mine are older and in yr 6 now so prefer to walk home like their mates, we dont live far so i dnt mind and they have their phone so i can ring them.

 

[motherofboys]

I'm a very shy person, but I do now have some brilliant friends at the school gate as well as a few people I know from other places like church just to say hi to. One of them lives a few doors away from me but he had never spoken because I was too shy to actually go and talk. Her son lost his jumper and I found it on the way home one day and gave it to her and then we started chatting and she suggested getting the boys together as they were in the same class at the time and now we are good friends. Another was because the kids kept asking to go to each others houses for dinner, so we started chatting a little and then we were all reading the same book (50 shades) and decided to make a book club! Now there are 3 of us (the 2 I mentioned) who are like the 3 musketeers and then another 3 who are good friends but not as close. My middle son just started so there are mums I know from preschool there too, but I just got chatting to them because my eldest had been to the same preschool and when they were all stood round talking at the gates and asking each other questions and all going "oh I don't know" I took a deep breath and forced myself to speak to answer their question and now we chat about general things.

 

[LaDY]

Aww it is really nice to hear some postive stories about the 'school gates'. I am also happy to say that so far i have met really lovely people. I can only say i have really got to know one mother properly who i have actually started seeing as a friend however many of the parents are very poliet and always say hi...have to say it makes me smile to think i am surrounded by such lovely people...don't get me wrong...as many of them all know each other it can still be awkward...but it can only get better xx

 

[motherofboys]

It is awkward at first especially if they all know each other already, i'm in a little village where many of them grew up themselves so have known each other their whole lifes. I'm at an advantage having most of the kids in my sons class having gone to the same preschool as him. There are those who are very stand-offish, those who seem to think they are still at school and are the 'popular kids', those who think they are better than anyone else and those who are unbelievably childish " you can't be her friend you're meant to be my friend" but I've found my niche within the play ground so all is well LOL