male bonding....

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by ablaze, Dec 15, 2006.

  1. ablaze

    ablaze lucky mum of one of each!

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    i know me and darren are seperated but he is a fantastic father and there for the kids as much as he always has been...

    i feel that he is not bonding with callum though, (i know u shud nvr compare children but im being 100% honest to get the best advice)

    chloe was a perfect baby...
    slept through from an early age,never cried etc..

    callum wants constant attention and is a mummys boy and is quite hard 2 settle(even with controlled crying)

    darren has said on numerous ocassions that he thinks callum hates him...
    now when callum is in a good mood hes great!but as i said is quite crabby, i dont feel darren is bonding with him the way he should, i havent mentioned it 2 him, has anyone else experienced this??

    blokes ur input wud b fab here please!!!(pm if ur a bit shy on this subject)
     
  2. Tootsie

    Tootsie Well-Known Member

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    Callums only 4 month old (nearly) He will not prefer one parent more than the other atm. I know when i split from my ex my youngest was a complete pain for him everytime he went to stay. Now though he's fine. I think he's still to young to be able to choose that way
     
  3. Dionne

    Dionne Well-Known Member

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    Kirs didnt seem like he was spending alot of time with Harley at first. Harley is such a angel we dont no we have him, and with Dior so demanding poor lil man is easily forgoten :(
    Dior is funny and amusing and Daddies lil girl. where as Harley just likes to sit and cuddle.

    kris never bothered with him. but now Harley has his lil personality he giggles and pulls faces and is so fun. kris and him are great together i just encorage it. for example even if its not true i say "owww kris when ever you get in from work Harley gets excited when he hears your voice"
    and stuff like that and it gives kris confidence.
     
  4. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    I think that is the best thing you can do to encourage a relationship and to give them confidence in the fact that the baby DOES want them about and has a positive reaction to them! x
     
  5. ablaze

    ablaze lucky mum of one of each!

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    see thats the thing, wen callum is in a good mood darrens fine with him!! wen hes stressing out(callum tht is :p) he cannie handle it... but he needs 2 learn tht if its me always calming him down hell never settle 4 him?!!
     
  6. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    I would just lay it on the line and tell him he needs to help calm him so that he feels reassured by him too....he needs to feel he can trust Darren too and he will only get that by Darren being there for the good AND the bad! Be honest with him and tell him how you feel, I would! x
     
  7. Iwantone!!!

    Iwantone!!! Well-Known Member

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    he will find hes way with callum
     
  8. vicky

    vicky Well-Known Member

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    matty had the same thing with kacy when he went back to work cos i was always with her, she seemed to want to be feed etc by me and not by matty only when she was in a good mood, (and kacy was in a good mood all the time when she was first born), but i figured out it was matty that was getting stressed so kacy was getting stressed, it took along time and kacy still a mummy girl but now she is older and started doing things and wants to play and things like that matty will cope with her alot better, matty should to get really up set if he would pick her up for a cuddle and she would cry he would give her to me and she would stop.

    The only thing you can do is keep trying and it will get better, but you will find as he gets older proabably get better in the next month or too when he starts doing more darren will start playing with him more and they will start getting a bond together.

    or you could go out with Chloe and leave callum with darren, then he will have to learn to seattle calllum
     
  9. ablaze

    ablaze lucky mum of one of each!

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    i think hes taking it hard cos chloe is a daddys girl!! web hes up i get 100% ignored!!!

    i only hope the bond grows stronger with time, it pains me to see callums wee face light up wen he sees him yet darren only acknowledges the tears :(
     

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