male 'lactivists'

[socitycourty]

TBH i'd be concerned if my DH was that aggressive about BF

 

[cat lover]

tbh my first reaction was 'fuck off, you dick'. i absolutely admire men who are pro bfing but this message seemed quite hateful to me with 'bitch' etc, and i do not accept anyone tellibg me what i must do, particularly a man who cannot possibly experience or un derstand bf. for the record i bf dd1 for 14 months but would not have appreciated this attitude from anyone, male or female

 

[smokey]

I dont think I see any differance between a man posting this and a woman posting it, I dont see it as him telling women what to do any differant as a woman doing the same.
Id I saw it I would probablt think "piss off your black and white world must be rather boring" but that has nothing to do wirh him being a man.
I find most times when men express strong views like this they are normaly echoing their partners views, not that they have no oppinions of their own but rather it is obviously a conversation they have had in some depths and both agree on.
Would people be as bothered if a woman posted a picture of the importance of prostate checking and belittleing for not doing so?

The onlt thing that bothers me about it is the belittling narure of it rather then who would have posted it.

 

[cat lover]

Agree that it is the belittling nature that is the worst thing, but IMO it DOES make a difference that its a man, as a man cant possibly experience bfing and cannot empathise properly with it - a man is never going to bf his toddler so how dare he tell a woman to do so? It would still piss me off if a woman had posted it, but at least a woman may well be talking from experience,so I woulld at least respect the opinion

 

[smokey]

But to me no amount of experiance should put anyone in a position to lecture, belittle, preasure or tell someone else what to do with their body, baby and life so less experiance would make little differance to the assumption of pushing someone into somthing so it wouldnt or shouldnt matter if they are male or female as at the end of the day it all comes down to basics of just being someone elses oppinion.

What does bug me is the other month I mentioned at work about baby movement as I got it really early with this one and a 17 year old lad started talkinf down to me saying I couldnt possibly be feeling movement as it was too early and I was imagining it, thats when I think males should know when to keep their mouths shut and stay out of it as thats more then a oppinion on a subject.
He got told to piss off and come back when he had a uturus and was 15 weeks pregnant then tell me what he feels or imagines.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I think the picture he chose to make his point was a bad choice, but I don't think I would be offended by it. I see all sorts on Facebook.

I think my husband is a bit of a lactivist. Every time he takes Holly to a baby group he ends up talking with the staff about breastfeeding and then coming home with yet another leaflet for me on becoming a breastfeeding buddy to help new mums. I don't know if I can even get to these breastfeeding groups though! When we go to baby groups he will always seem to end up on the subject of breastfeeding and even advising people himself based on my experiences. And he was talking to our neighbour about breastfeeding as his wife plans to breastfeed. He was explaining mastitis and supply and all sorts, poor guy probably wondered what on earth he was talking about! I think it's sweet how passionate he is about breastfeeding

 

[overcomer79]

I consider it an extremist attitude...it would not matter to me whether a man or a woman posted that. It is degrading to women by using the word "bitch".

Quite honestly if someone was so pushy about their views as to post something that I consider poor taste like that, then it would probably bother me enough that I would unfriend them.

You can make a point without the profanity.

 

[SerenityNow]

I think it is offensive does border on misogyny. Both for the control over what a woman does with her body and the language used.

When my eldest was a baby we lived in a really small community where many of the people were members of a small, insular religion. Women were absolutely expected to BF for at least a year and NIP was completely taboo, even when covered with a blanket or nursing apron. I think that sort of attitude is misogynistic (or rather one manifestation of misogynistic culture) because it sets up expectations on women that make it impossible for them to participate in normal public life.

 

[louandivy]

I think it is offensive does border on misogyny. Both for the control over what a woman does with her body and the language used.

When my eldest was a baby we lived in a really small community where many of the people were members of a small, insular religion. Women were absolutely expected to BF for at least a year and NIP was completely taboo, even when covered with a blanket or nursing apron. I think that sort of attitude is misogynistic (or rather one manifestation of misogynistic culture) because it sets up expectations on women that make it impossible for them to participate in normal public life.

I think you sum up my thoughts perfectly! Can i ask where this community was?

 

[SerenityNow]

We were in Minnesota. My OH worked for the state government and was doing biology field work there, so we were definitely outsiders!

 

[MommyJogger]

lol, this shows my immaturity, but I'm still punctuating my day by randomly dying in laughter at the play on "weaner".

 

[Bex84]

I think bf is a personal choice, my dh is supportive of our decission. If i saw it i would think its misguided, i still bf at 19 months however i dont even think about if others are or not. I know someone who put alot of stuff up on fb then got a shock when she struggled to bf number 2. I dont think the gender of person who posted would change view. My dh is pro but dont think he particulaly talks to others about it as it is just part of us looking after daughter one of his male friends said his wife was a lactation consultent if i needed help when i first had lo which i just thought was sweet. I think men are entitled to a view however having been the person who has been told that i am doing something horrible as i still bf my dd i do think people should think how they put across their opinion and also realise people are entitled to parent in a way they feel is best for their child

 

[LisaL79]

While I'm pro-BFing and think it's great that a guy is good with it too.... posts like that piss me off.
It comes off like the mom is terrible if she doesn't BF, or stops BFing too soon (in their eyes).
If whoever wants to BF longer, awesome, but don't shove your views in to anyone elses face and expect them to follow. And that is double so for men who will NEVER understand just how hard it is for a woman to BF or not BF.

Reminds me of one of my DH's guy friends.
He's a nice guy and all, but really in to the whole organic crunchie crap. I guess a conversation between DH and him came up and DH told him that I was going to get an epidural. His friend made some comment about how I should be trying it without drugs and blahblahblah. *insert major eyeroll*

 

[MommyJogger]

Just out of curiosity, those who don't like it: would you feel the same if the pic was a laughing toddler and instead of the "Bitch, please, yada yada" it just said, "Don't be a weaner! Toddler bf is great!"? I plan on self-weaning and curse like a sailor at times, but that whole second half superimposed on a angry kid put me off just a little.

 

[fantastica]

Just out of curiosity, those who don't like it: would you feel the same if the pic was a laughing toddler and instead of the "Bitch, please, yada yada" it just said, "Don't be a weaner! Toddler bf is great!"? I plan on self-weaning and curse like a sailor at times, but that whole second half superimposed on a angry kid put me off just a little.

I think the difference with that is that it would come across as less forceful and more supportive/jokey...swearing doesn't bother me in the slightest..there's just something about the way it comes across! Can't really explain what I mean haha!


I understand that some men are supportive, and that's great...but I think it can be misogynistic, men can NEVER understand fully the issues women face with regard to being a mother, and it is not for them to 'dictate' what a woman should be doing with her body. I wouldn't take to it too kindly coming from a woman either, but it's not quite the same.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I hate any pictures like that on fb full stop. It's just not anyone's business but the parents

 

[DLA]

It's not offensive that he's male. It's offensive that he makes a blanket statement that everyone should be doing something one way. Not everyone can and wants to. Who is he to tell everyone how they should be feeding THEIR children?

 

[suzib76]

Isnt it just a joke? A bit of fun? Yes so he is pro breastfeeding but seriously he isn't and can't tell anyone what to do with their bodies, I just see it as a lighthearted bit of fun really

"Bitch please" is commonly used to caption various pics so I just see it as off the back of that kind of thing, I wouldn't never in a million years take it so seriously as to think the poster was telling me what to do with my body

 

[pinklightbulb]

Agree with suzi. I think too many people look for offense when there isn't any.

 

[kerrie24]

Agree with suzi. I think too many people look for offense when there isn't any.

I think its good that he is supportive of bf,most men would never post that incase they got dissed off their friends