male 'lactivists'

[pinklightbulb]

My ex went from a staunch FF supporter to a BF one Shows how things influence people... his first boy was FF from day dot, his second and third were EBF. Now he's very vocal about the benefits of BF.

 

[louandivy]

Well I think if you guys saw this particular guy's FB you def wouldn't think it was all light-hearted fun because he is definitely is a huge asshole and very preachy about all of his views...i don't know I just feel like it isn't really respectful for a man to feel like they can forcefully tell a woman what to do with her own body, whether its for good or not. If I had decided not to breastfeed and my OH had been forceful about me doing it anyway I would have told him to fuck off. I probably do read into it a bit too much but to me it feels like men sometimes - whether consciously or not - reinforcing gender roles and preaching about what makes a woman 'good'.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I dunno. Isn't BF primarily best for baby? A man has the right to want the best for his baby, same as a woman, surely?

 

[louandivy]

Maybe its the best but it isn't a do-or-die situation, I say this as someone who breastfed my daughter for 16 months. If a woman is uncomfortable with breastfeeding I don't think a man should have any say in what she does with her body, something he will never go through or understand. Just like he has no right whether to tell her to have a natural birth or medicated one, despite whatever is considered 'best'.

 

[louandivy]

And obviously no one, male or female, has a right to tell a woman what to do with their body but something about a male in particular feeling like they have a right to preach something so personal for a woman just makes me feel uneasy.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I have 20 months BF under my belt as well and still think a man has just as much right to want his baby to receive breast milk as a default, as that's what it is Just because it so happens a man can't BF doesn't mean he can't advocate for it if that's what he would like for his child. A woman doesn't have to "do what he says" but he has the right to his feelings just as she does about it.

 

[louandivy]

Of course everyone has a right to their feelings but it doesn;t mean they should be preachy or forceful in their opinions about it. I know my OH wanted me to breastfeed but if I had made the decision not to he definitely wouldn't have felt like he had the right to tell me what to do with my breasts.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't think it was preachy though. Maybe that's where we are disagreeing?

 

[louandivy]

Oh trust me, it was totally preachy. I am tempted to link to this guy's FB to give you an idea of how much of a preachy twat he actually is but I don't think thats allowed on here

 

[DLA]

It is what's best physically for baby but its certainly easier said than done. He's not the one that has to struggle with pain, exhaustion and devastation that can potentially result from BFing not going well. I find it very insulting. Also there's a big difference between advocating and dictating. I'm a huge BFing advocate but I think there are situations where it's not for the best when it puts the mother through such turmoil. All situations are different and assuming one way of doing something is what's best for every family is extremely narrow minded.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Oh trust me, it was totally preachy. I am tempted to link to this guy's FB to give you an idea of how much of a preachy twat he actually is but I don't think thats allowed on here

Maybe he's just a dick then

 

[kerrie24]

I still think its just a lighthearted fun post he's seen on somebody elses page and shared.I would have done it too without thinking.

 

[smokey]

Well I think if you guys saw this particular guy's FB you def wouldn't think it was all light-hearted fun because he is definitely is a huge asshole and very preachy about all of his views...i don't know I just feel like it isn't really respectful for a man to feel like they can forcefully tell a woman what to do with her own body, whether its for good or not. If I had decided not to breastfeed and my OH had been forceful about me doing it anyway I would have told him to fuck off. I probably do read into it a bit too much but to me it feels like men sometimes - whether consciously or not - reinforcing gender roles and preaching about what makes a woman 'good'.

At the end of the day though thats all it is is preaching, free will is still there to ignore, delete, choose a differant path or say piss iff ill do ir my way.
Its not like anyones being held down and forced against their will.

 

[Tasha]

It is what's best physically for baby but its certainly easier said than done. He's not the one that has to struggle with pain, exhaustion and devastation that can potentially result from BFing not going well. I find it very insulting. Also there's a big difference between advocating and dictating. I'm a huge BFing advocate but I think there are situations where it's not for the best when it puts the mother through such turmoil. All situations are different and assuming one way of doing something is what's best for every family is extremely narrow minded.

The bolded is exactly what I thought.

 

[overcomer79]

I have 20 months BF under my belt as well and still think a man has just as much right to want his baby to receive breast milk as a default, as that's what it is Just because it so happens a man can't BF doesn't mean he can't advocate for it if that's what he would like for his child. A woman doesn't have to "do what he says" but he has the right to his feelings just as she does about it.

sorry but if my OH forced me to do something then that would probably result in a divorce. Breastfeeding my daughter sent me into depression...I'm glad he was supportive of me switching to formula because I'd hate to think of what would have happened.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I have 20 months BF under my belt as well and still think a man has just as much right to want his baby to receive breast milk as a default, as that's what it is Just because it so happens a man can't BF doesn't mean he can't advocate for it if that's what he would like for his child. A woman doesn't have to "do what he says" but he has the right to his feelings just as she does about it.

sorry but if my OH forced me to do something then that would probably result in a divorce. Breastfeeding my daughter sent me into depression...I'm glad he was supportive of me switching to formula because I'd hate to think of what would have happened.

I wasn't talking about forcing... just having an opinion. Which he is allowed to do. He's human too.

 

[Tiff]

I do think too that there's a massive difference between having an opinion on it (which everyone is entitled to) and then being forceful or something. If my husband's opinion was that BM was his preference then that's fine.

If he told me "Bitch, please..." while asking about it then that'd be a different story.

I think its wonderful that men are taking a bigger interest in breast feeding. But I do find the tone of the picture to be very derogatory. That's just me though. Had he shared something about the benefits of BF and BM then that'd be fine to me. However, it IS his facebook so I'd probably not call him out on it there as he's free to post what he wants.

But if he was like that I'd probably either hide him or delete him depending on the relationship.