Maybe you can relate to this...

[dianndelto]

I am the kind of person who can tolerate a lot. I have so much patience, and I can handle right about everything that is thrown at me. The way my brain works is that I build up a bunch of feelings and then one small thing happens and I SNAP! last night I snapped! I think all my frustrations were involved in my "not so exciting" night, and every reason I had to cry just came out! The one victim was my hubby. Well, he gave me a reason to snap.

This is hard! Life is really hard right now. I never lived a stress free life but lately stress is like the fuel that fires up my day. I wish people could understand whats going on with me. Nobody can understand. None of them had to take provera every month to induced their AF. None of them had to take femara or clomid to induce ovulation and pray every night that the opk is positive. None of them did daily pregnancy tests to see if they finally had their wish come true. This process to them is normal, when deep inside me im crying with the thought that this month might not even work. I have an HSG scheduled for the end of this week... Nobody understands.. expect you all... my BnB friends!

Im tired of pretending it doesnt hurt me when it does. I have 13 pregnant friends. EVERYONE around me is pregnant including my sister in law. I wish I could tell her how much it hurts when she calls me to talk about her doctors appointment, or when she saw the baby for the first time in the ultrasound, or how hard is for me to plan her baby shower. I wish I never said " i can help". But I am happy for her, and I will do what I need to do.

I want this to work out. All i want to scream is WHY! why me? why me who wants it so much and then there are women who in a daily basis have abortions, kill their kids, abuse them, drown them. why? why? I know life isnt fair but this is crazy! why? I can love and protect a child, why cant I have one?

I couldnt work today since Ive cried the entire night, fought with my husband, and almost call the cops on my neighbor. I feel like I wanna run away, so far away...

sorry for the venting, but I have no one else that I can call and relate to this.

 

[bluemoonfairy]

oh you poor thing,
i know how hard it can be just to try but i cant imagine how it feels to have to take so many pill and potions just to have a monthly cycle,
Me and hubby have only been trying for 8months, and waiting for the right time for 10years, so i know what the longing is like and also the "everyone else is pregnant, whens it my go" i can not stand!
Im sure your dh understands that this is hard for you and to be honest thats why we choose these guys, cos we know they can deal with it,
Plus your perfectly entitled to blow up occasionally!
Ill pray you get your BFP very soon,if only to stop your heart aching so badly!
please stay strong!
And oh will understand!
x

 

[Hena]

You're not alone I think out of all of it the hardest (for me) are the times when you have the conflict between being genuinly happy for someone like your sister or in my case sil, but wanting what she has so badly it hurts.
I'm sending you loads positive energy, good wishes, and tonnes of baby dust. Your time will come, and when it does it will be worth all this suffering!

 

[labmommy]

We are all there with you hon.
I spent some time today bawling my eyes out. My dog left the room scared I think! lol I was in the middle of praying to St Gianna, who has been known to help these cases, when I burst into tears uncontrollably.

 

[Stinas]

Im sorry to hear how heartbroken you are. It sure is a very stressful and upsetting time. My BFF is preg right now, so that is all I hear myself. Hers was a wham bam baby...while I have been reading up and trying for months.
I really hope you get your BFP soon!! This forum really does help...lots of people here with lots of different stories to help everyone get through their own.
Baby dust to you!!!

 

[dianndelto]

Its always great to know that you are not alone. The main reason i tell you all these is because I know you all understand. I dont want people to feel bad for me, I want people to understand my pain.

My day got better, I release all my frustration couponing. I get coupons and save lots of money in stuff. I went shopping, he took me to every store I wanted to go for cheap stuff. My AF showed up her ugly face today! and Im hormonal too.... thanks for all your prayers

 

[jones248]

hey sweetie, i know how you feel. but we are all with you! weve been trying to concieve for 1 year and 2 months and i got pregnant once and had a miscarriage april
30th.. it was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through.. its really frustrating and hurts a lot. i keep telling myself everything happens for a reason and my mother n law told me God wanted a guardian angel for when we do concieve.. i will keep you in my prayers and everyone else... one day it will happen for us

 

[wantanerd]

I am with you on the frustration of taking tons of medications to conceive. It does suck and it gets super frustrating from time to time. I take my frustration out by scrapbooking.

It is insanely frustrating when it seems like I have pregnancy radar and I constantly see TONS of pregnant women. I also live on a military base and of course there are always plenty going in and out of the commissary and walking around neighborhoods.

I noticed you live in FL. I would love to be back in my home state. I think the worst thing for me dealing with TTC is my mom and my family are all in FL. Plus you don't know how much I am wanting a publix vanilla buttercream cake for my birthday. No bakery in CO can come close to their icing.

I hope you get your bfp soon! I am on my first cycle of femara this month =)