MC in first pregnancy.

[emilyrose.x]

Hi everyone,

Myself and my partner have been trying for a baby for last 5 months, found out i was pregnant on 29th November 2010 and was the best feeling ever.. then and there i quit smoking, drinking and red up everything about what foods to avoid etc, i did everything by the book. i came out in a rash all over my body (believed to be from pregnancy) so was extra careful.

i experienced brown discharge on 15/12/2010 and went to hospital to be safe, they took blood, swabs and booked me in for a scan the next morning. When i had the scan the next day the baby was fine and heartbeat was very strong.

On the 17/12/2010 i began to have fresh blood and was advised to go straight back to hospital -once again everything seemed fine, cervix was closed and doctor didnt seem worried.

18/12/2010 Me and my partner had a nap from 5pm-8pm, when i woke up i was surrounded by blood. My partner took me straight to hospital where more blood began to pour out, i burst into tears as there was nothing i could do but lay there and hope everything would be okay. Huge clots began to come away and thats when i knew everthing wasnt ok. The doctor booked me in for a scan the next morning to confirm what we already knew.

19/12/2010 We arrived at the scan and my heart lit up when i saw the baby still inside, i couldnt belive it, neither could the midwife, she did a internal to get a closer look but sadly there was no heartbeat.

21/12/2010 At this moment in time i am laid in hospital waiting to have a D&C (fingers crossed will all go well). I am very scared as i am only young and just cant get my head around why this happened to us?

I did everything the right way and know we would have been great parents, reading on the internet that if the baby doesnt have the information he/she needs, then they short-fuse and stop growing because they cant have the best life possible. The thing that is upsetting me the most would be that the rash is now fading Just would like to know what people have found can help deal with the loss?

We are wanting to try for another, hoping the next one ends happily.

Em x

 

[grandbleu]

Emily -

Just wanted to say sorry for your little one your lost and hugs for you and your OH this holiday. Most of us did everything right and still wonder why and a lot of times there will never be a proper answer. It is so hard to not know why but it's one of those things that come with miscarriages. Take comfort with your partner and the ladies that are here on this forum. You will be grieving for your baby...for yourself...for all your hopes and dreams of a family...sometimes it will seem insurmountable and other times you will find hope again. It will get better with time as much as it sounds cliché but right now is your time to mourn your baby and do what you need to do to let your grief out. I found a lot of support on the miscarriage support section: https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/ just so you know.

 

[emilyrose.x]

Thank you for the advice hun, means alot..
Just so sad knowing that we will never get to see our first little angel
My partner has been great, we need to stay stong for eachother.
I will have a look on the website now, thanks again.

*hugs*

Em x

 

[grandbleu]

Emily - Just so you know it's not a new website but just another section on this forum...I found a lot of support right in the beginning from ladies going through the same thing at the same time and then when I was ready to TTC I came here but of course you are welcome in both places. Some ladies start to TTC right away but it's best to wait at least one cycle for lots of reasons and I'm sure your doctor will advise you the same plus it gives you some proper time to mourn your little one. I'm so glad your partner is supportive. Just don't hold back your emotions...if I had to cry I just did...holding it in just doesn't help right now...you don't have to put on a happy face for others. Also another thing that helped was having a little ceremony for our baby about a week after we lost him...it was special and just my husband and I (you can see my avatar picture).

 

[sparkle]

Emily rose- I am so so sorry for your loss. I totally agree with grandbleu, if you want to cry, cry. Scream and let it all out if it helps.
The miscarriage support section of baby and bump is amazing full of such strong ladies who will listen to your rants or worries.
I hope that the next few days/ weeks weeks are easy on you. I was so numb after my second mc that I remember very little. We are always here to listen. Many

 

[emilyrose.x]

grandbleu

Appricate the advice alot.. the last few days have been terrible..i feel like i have ran out of tears my partner went to get me some flowers from the shop in the hospital and his eyes welled up from seeing all the balloons and congrats teddies.Hoping this sad time pass's very soon. i am so sorry to hear about your loss, your display picture is lovely, think that is a good idea, a really nice way to say goodbye..

sparkle
Thank you, like i said i honestly feel like i have ran out of tears, atleast i know our baby seed is somewhere safe. I am sorry to hear about your loss, im just feeling very low and empty at the moment

Em x

 

[Amberyll23]

EmilyRose--I am so very sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you and your partner. It is important right now to let any emotions you are feeling to get out. It is a horrible experience that a lot of people cannot comprehend or understand unless they have been through it themselves or have been close to someone who has. I agree with grandbleu and sparkle that the miscarriage support forum is a good place to go. I lurked there after I lost my first little one at 8 wks--I didnt post, but reading the posts of those ladies and the support and encouragement they gave, helped me to get through some of my darker days.

You will find a ton of support here, these ladies are awesome. One thing I wanted to add is that please don't think that you did anything wrong, because you didnt. Huge hugs to you.

 

[Khadijah-x]

hey huni so sorry for your loss x
It peeves me off to see women having successful pregnancys when they are smoking/drinking, and the ones that do everything by the book end up losing the babys always the way
Huni there are reasons why we have miscarriages and mainly abmormal chromosomes , i keep telling myself something wasnt quite right with my angel and passed away for a reason. although id prefer it not to happen, there are women that find out problems when they are very far gone and I count myself lucky my angel passed early on rather than late pregnancy. example, a woman found out at 28 weeks her baby had no lungs :O so she had to abort. This problem was from a abnormal chromosome but baby carried on growing where as our angels passed earlier. so i just try and think like that and feel one of the lucky ones, if i can put it like that.

Soon as my bleeding stopped i felt sooooo much better, knowing we could try again, this helps alot of women.
You will always remember and be sad about your loss, but itl get easier over time

 

[emilyrose.x]

Hey mommyandbump

Didnt end up having the D&C - was in the hospital for 11 hours and not 1 nurse/ doctor came to ask about past history in family and explain what actually happens during a D&C so i said i would see how naturally doing it would go but wanting to get everything sorted before New Year as New Years Day is my birthday and wanting like a new start so will see how everything goes. I 100% know what you mean hun, just gets me so riled how doing everything by the book didnt help

That helped alot hun, im sorry about your loss :huggs: How far gone was you? It helps so much knowing that my baby seed wouldnt have had the best life he/she could have.

I would have struggled to cope finding out at 28weeks

Im still currently bleeding so think thats been getting me down, just feel like its our angel slowly saying goodbye

We concieved in Turkey so just worried it will take a while to fall pregnant again.

Fingers crossed not 2 long - theres twins in my partner's side and we have said that if we do have twins we are calling one Angel and in a way was like this one returning to us.

Em xx