Mental Health

[MontyMad]

I thought I was pulling through all right, now I'm not sure. Firstly, my normal job is in a nursery but while it was closed, the company that owns the place transferred staff to their care homes. I'm autistic and dealing with any changes in my routine and being around new people is hard. Insanely hard. (I had to go off sick on only my second day because the stress had brought on a killer migraine.) I have been in the home since March now, and even though my new routine is established and I'm comfortable with my duties and my coworkers/residents, it is still hard. Every few weeks or so, I have these weird "turns" as my mum calls them. At first, she thought it was my epilepsy playing up and planned to let my neurologist know in case of my pill dosage needed adjusting. But she's decided it's not that after all. I feel sick, emotional, panicky, and it's almost like a migraine but not quite if that makes sense. It happened again today, and I started feeling better as soon as my mum called in sick on my behalf. (I have a phobia of talking on the phone, oh joy!) I could easily have gone in no problemo, so now I just feel sick with guilt. The nursery reopened on Monday. My boss doesn't keep in touch as much as I think she should; I ended up not knowing the full story until I saw it on Facebook. Turns out she doesn't want all the staff returning at the same time, so I'm still in the home for the time being. That's fine, got no problem with that, but you could have told me earlier and not left me in the lurch!! And I'm sure this goes without saying, the longer I'm away from my already long distance boyfriend the harder it gets. I haven't seen him since before I went on holiday in the first week of March. 29th of Feb, to be exact. I'm not 100% sure he understands exactly how I feel or if he feels the same, I don't know how to describe it. It's like I don't feel at home without him, but he has his ways of perking me up. Funny memes, jokes, future events etc. But it never lasts. Today he set up a Twitch account so I can watch him play video games, which is part of our own little morning routine. I stay in bed, while he gets breakfast sorted then he plays his games while we eat. That will be something to look forward to, I've been trying to get him to play Spyro, one of my favourite games; he hasn't said he will, but he didn't say no. For now, I'm trying to look past the present and making plans, that has helped a little. I've been wanting a new tattoo for the few months and I have decided to move forward with it when tattoo shops are open. While I'm at work, I always have it at the back of my mind. Doing it for my steampunk pegasus ❤

 

[Babybump87]

Urghhh so on Saturday I went the shop to return something. Didn’t wear gloves (ran out and was picking some more up ) but wore a mask .

The lady on the counter was wearing gloves. She passed me a pen and asked me to sign the receipt for a return which I did without thinking about it . Left the shop and pulled my mask down when outside pinching it from the middle . Got the car and used hand gel took the mask off , used the hand gel again .

Woke up last night in a panic re thinking about touching the pen without gloves on . Feel all stressed out and anxious now!!

 

[AngelUK]

I think you will be fine, you used the gel after. I have a friend who is an nurse working in hospital (she had the virus btw) and she gets quite mad when she sees people wearing gloves. She says since they cannot be washed or cleaned, all they do is spread microbes from one area to the next. Much better to regularily wash your hands and/or use the gel.

 

[Babybump87]

Thanks Angel .

Yeah I’ve actually read that today about people spreading germs around by using the same pair of gloves for numerous shops. I just bin mine when I leave be shop .

Maybe it’s jaut a false sense of security and just not needed. I may just stop using them now and keep my clip on hand gel with me . I understand for people handling cash and the checkout workers . I’ve seen loads of people not wearing gloves !

Arghh just really freaked me out must have been playing on my mind and didn’t realise. Since I’ve only just started going the shops again too! We are all OTT in this house on hand washing!

 

[AngelUK]

I don't wear gloves in shops now (though I too would if I had to handle cash a lot! In fact I have avoided any kind of cash since lockdown started!) cause I am more worried to pick up the virus with the gloves than with my frequently gelled hands!
I really think you did ok! You didn't touch your face before using the gel as you had a mask on, so the risk is probably less than had you worn gloves cause yeah as you said they give a false sense of security.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I think you will be absolutely fine. I know it's easy for me to say, but especially given all the precautions you've been taking I think you will be OK

 

[Babybump87]

Yeah hopefully be okpretty bad luck otherwise !
I don’t handle any type of cash even before the covid . Always use contactless - just lazyness really with having to go the bank and withdrawn money haha .

 

[Babybump87]

Thanks ladies

 

[Babybump87]

Today we went for a walk over to our local park ! The girls were so excited it’s only the second time since middle of March they have been out !

I feel sorry for them . We are lucky enough to have a big back garden but I don’t think it’s the same as actually leaving your house and walking the park . I need to just not let the feara/anxiety take over me .

We are going for a bike ride tomorrow fingers crossed for nice weather !

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm glad you had a nice time at the park today and I hope the bike ride goes well tomorrow

 

[Babybump87]

Thanks Bev I think we all needed it !

 

[Babybump87]

This should have been DD2s last week in nursery . I feel so said that she’s missed these last few months and won’t get her graduation like DD1. We might do something at home for her instead.

I feel sad for all those that have missed out on things !

 

[Bevziibubble]

It's so sad how much they've missed out on

 

[Babybump87]

She’s been invited to a party with some of her friends as a graduation celebration.

I’m torn between my heart and my head . My heart because she’s gonna miss out (she doesn’t know about it all anyway but I still feel bad ) and the fact that I’ve been isolating them away from people since middle of March and there’s gonna be 20+ kids and adults with no social distancing !

We have just recently been seeing grandparents too socially distant and I feel going to the party for a few hours will impact on them seeing grandparents daily for the next 2 weeks.

What would you all do ? I think it’s just gonna be a stretch too far for me at the minute

 

[love.peace]

I hear you. I'm pregnant and seperating from my husband so things have been really hard. But have been lucky to have a small bubble of friends we've been seeing regularly all through lockdown. And finally things are lifting here in the uk. Although mandatory mask wearing in all shops from friday. Thankfully I'm exempt
I have my first midwife app tomorrow. Thankfully my mum is having the children.

How are you all?

 

[Babybump87]

Sorry your having a rough time love . Hopefully things will improve for you soon ! Glad you’ve still managed to see friends and family through lockdown that must have been a massive help .

Hope your first midwife appointment went well!

I’m getting so frustrated at times , sick of hearing about all the bad stuff ! Now they are going on about a second wave in the UK in 2 weeks time! Just as the shielding is about to end at the weekend too and people are expected to be back at work just like that !

I’m worried for when the the kids and DH goes back to work in September .

Just seems to be no end insight ! I am hopeful for a vaccine but knows when this will be !

 

[Bevziibubble]

It's so frustrating isn't it

 

[Babybump87]

Seriously ladies , how can I stop myself freaking out when I get back from the shop ?!
I wear a mask
I only touch things I’m going to buy
Observe social distancing
Gel hands etc
But yet I start running through everything in my head later in the evening!

I had to take the children with me today into 2 shops . The girls didn’t touch a thing and stayed by me the whole time DD1 wore a mask in the second shop younger two never (4&1)

I seriously need a way to control this . I’m ok when I am in the shop and if it gets busy I just stand away in a space away from everyone until it thins out otherwise I’d have a panic attack .

I really don’t know how am gonna be able to do the full food shopping once DH goes back to work !

 

[Bevziibubble]

I have just regestered here, and so glad to know that there are people who can understand you. The pandemic is making me crazy. I think I got accustomed to it, but in fact, I really miss our usual life before Covid. Hope it will end soon, and we will be able to cross borders and live our normal lives

Welcome to BabyandBump

 

[Babybump87]

I have just regestered here, and so glad to know that there are people who can understand you. The pandemic is making me crazy. I think I got accustomed to it, but in fact, I really miss our usual life before Covid. Hope it will end soon, and we will be able to cross borders and live our normal lives

Ahh welcome !!

Your not crazy !! I felt and still do feel that way at times . I have my moments when I panic about my masks / using hand gel etc .

Hopefully normal life will resume soon . In the meantime take one day at a time and it will get better !!