midwife says to wait?

[Shell'sAngels]

Hi girls

As you know a week ago i gave birth to my special boy at 17wks due to him having Patau Syndrome and we are keen to get ttc again i am desperate to be pregnant again and its not to replace him in anyway just to fill that empty awful feeling i have...

Midwife came over tonight and i asked if it was possible to get pregnant before my period started as was told that id be 'very fertile' straight after, like you normally are after a m/c.... Now ive been told by her i must wait as if i fall pregnant then it will prob end in a miscarriage or later have problems in the pregnancy cuse i didnt give my body chance to recover...

Did anyone or do you know if this is true or is it just a 'procaution' and did anyone get pregnant straight after a loss and be ok?

Thanks
Shell x

 

[dollydingle]

So so sorry for your loss lovely

There is mixed evidence regarding the rate of miscarriage in a pregnancy immediately after a loss. Anecedotally among women I know it does not seem to matter.

It is helpful to have one normal period as it is easier to 'date' your pregnancy and therefore plan your ante-natal care. You will probably have more intensive monitoring in your next pregnancy.

As the loss of your baby was quite late it is more likely that it will take your body a while to settle it's hormones and return to a normal cycle with ovulation (I'm particularly thinking of prolactin, HCG and progesterone). You might have an anovulatory cycle first.

I think the idea of actually waiting to have unprotected intercourse or taking some form of birth control for a few months is a bit of an old wives (or madwives!!) tale. BDing can help with the awful grief you must be going through by feeling that you are doing something positive towards having your next baby. It will also 'reconnect' you and your partner.

Purely my personal opinion but I think those who tell you to 'wait a few months' don't understand what it is like to be pregnant one day and then not the next and despite pain and bleeding having no baby to hold.

lots of love

 

[hb1]

Hi there - did she have a particular reason pertinent to your loss to say this? I would double check with your dr.

I found this link handy - but it is general info. It does explain the reasoning behind general advice on trying again - I guess it depends on the opinion of the mw or dr unless you have a medical reason to wait before ttc.

https://www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

Generally there is no physical reason not to ttc straight away and comes down to your personal choice.

take care

hx

 

[ronshi]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your special little boy

I lost my little boy to acrania at 14 wks and it was heartbreaking
God only knows what you're going through now...

I was told to wait for 3/4 months. Then after three periods i went to a private Obgyn to check if I was healing properly after D&C, and he told me to take a special folic acid (folilic acid) and wait one more month.

It was a different case to yours, but I know exactly what it feels like to want to fill your empty womb again. I had the urge to TTC again immediately, but here (in Spain) doctors are very conservative.

It's true your fertility increases, but not just for the following month... for the next three months implantation will be easier for the next beanie.

I hope it happens soon hunny xxxxxx

 

[WannaB]

Shells it could also be a matter of your folic acid levels, they do need time to build back up. Thats one of the main reasons they tell ladies who have medically managed ectopics to wait the 3 months because they cannot take the folic acid with the medicine that is used and their bodies become depleted of it. Low folic acid levels can cause mcs and of course other problems in pregnancy that we are all aware of. As hb1 said could you perhaps check with your obgyn, he would be able to tell you for sure why they want you to wait that long. Bigs hugs to you hun, you've been through so much.

 

[Nosy_Cow]

I know the feeling only too well off wanting to try straight away! We were NTNP after loosing our little girl but we were told to wait 3 cycles before trying again. After the 3 cycles we actively starting trying again. If we had got pregnant in the first 3 months I would have been over the moon! Unfortunatley it's coming upto my 7th cycle and still no luck!

I would wait until your 6 week check up first though! At my 6 week check up I had a scan done and my consultant said everything was back to normal. My bereavement midwife said technically it meant we could start trying but medically we should wait.

for Lucas!
for mummy!

 

[powellj]

Hi Shell,
Sorry to hear of your loss of your little boy.
I only joined on here last night recommended by a friend as i lost a baby last week at 13 weeks with Patau syndrome to.
This was my 5th pregnancy i have 3 beautiful healthy children and have had a loss before but very early on, so when it came to going for my 12 week scan i was shocked to be told that my baby was very poorly and would not survive in my womb until 20 weeks, after having another scan last monday the baby had passed away on it's own i had to go in to hospital last thur to deliver the baby which was awful. my specialist midwife has told me that after you have finished bleeding your body is physically ready to be pregnant again it's just to make sure that you are mentally ready to try again.
I had never heard of patau syndrome before and have been told that it is such a rare sydrome to be heard of, i had a cvs test to confirm that it was this and to check if me and my partner where carriers of this, which we where told was very unlikely as we have 3 children together, the test results came back that we are not, i felt like i had won the lotery when i was told this. It means that we are more likely to have a healthy pregnancy next time. i am desperate to try again as soon as possible it will never replace the loss of my baby but i feel so empty.
Had you ever heard of this syndrome before? keep your chin up and if you feel ready to try again then go with it xxx

 

[Shell'sAngels]

Hi Powellj

Im very sorry you had to go through this too it was such a sad time for us, we are the same have 2 healthy children so came as quite a shock...
However this post was done back in feb i am now 6 months pregnant with a healthy baby so happy that all is ok this time round, we just had pure bad luck, i still think of Lucas everyday and we concieved this baby the month he was due which i felt was a gift from him and expecting another baby boy!
I do hope this gives you some hope and wish you all the best. And no i'd never heard of Patau syndrome till we were told Lucas had it and was told was just a 'cock up' at conception, its very rare. xx

 

[powellj]

Hi shell,
Thanks for getting back to me and a big congratulations on the news of being pregnant again and with a little boy, i am really happy for you! are you under care of the hospital or where you to monitor everything in your pregnancy, we where told that i would be under the specialist care and scanned every two weeks when we finally fall. i think i'll end up being paranoid all the way through. yeah we where also told this would of happened the minute we concieved. I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy and meeting your little boy. i hope i end up with a healthy pregnancy next time round like you take care xxxxxx

 

[Shell'sAngels]

thanks hun, well i gotta be honest the care around here is utter cr*p! i was treated appolingly through my loss too, however i have had a couple more scans than normal im due another on on thursday which will be my last now till 38 weeks, and i was seen by a fetal medicine specialist also i booked a private scan to be on the safe side, i was so paranoid they had missed something as i had very little faith in the hospital but all does seem fine and fingers crossed thursday will be the same!!
Wish you all the best too hunni xx

 

[powellj]

good luck on thur will have everything crossed that all is well, i think a private scan will be on the cards for me to just to make sure everything will be ok, i'm not even pregnant yet and planning everything in my head just think you will be able to see your beautiful little boy again on thursday xxxxxx

 

[powellj]

Hi shell been thinking about you today hope the scan went well. It is 2 weeks today since i delivered my baby my bleeding stopped after 9 days and i have started bleeding again today is this normal? or should i get it checked out have stomache pains like on the dayxx

 

[Shell'sAngels]

hi hunni thanks for thinking of me!

Everything went fine thank you! all was perfect such a relief!!

My bleeding was like that i bled for about 10 days then it stopped for a couple then came back again it was really odd and all the shop, i didnt get normal cycles back for a good 2 months i did however have some placenta still lodged in my cervix which was causing my hcg so long to drop back to 0!

I wouldnt worry about the bleeding yet if it continues for another couple weeks then see someone or if its really heavy and you get clots see someone.

All the best hope you get back ttc soon xx

 

[powellj]

Hi hun, thants brilliant really pleased for you, i bet it was lovely to see your little boy again. I ended up going back in to hospital this wed just gone i had been bleeding for 3 weeks with really bad cramps my doctor fobed me off saying that if i had bit's left in side they wouldn't pick it up on a scan. So i called the people that had dealt with me at the hospital when i lost my baby, i was admitted and had a few tests done followed by a scan, i have an infection from when i have lost the baby so on antibiotics now, so fingers crossed this will sort me out. Was a bit annoyed that one person was saying different from the next the lady who scanned me told me i had polycystic ovaris to.When the doctor came back round i asked loads of questions as i was quite concerned she said that i prob just have cysts as i have no other symptons to go with it and have had 5 pregnancy's and 3 healthy grown up children. Well fingers crossed now the tablets will sort me out and we can start again here's to what happens next!
sorry to rabbit on, you look after your self and your gorgeous little man take care lovely xx