midwives and the government all seem againts bottle feeding

[laura109]

My mum bottle fed us. My sister and friends also bottle fed. I choose really early on id do the same. I have got all my bottles steriliser and looked up all info on it. I am not saying anything against breast feeders but its just not for me.

Expressing, whipping my breast out wherever I am and not having the opportunity to share feeding with my other half are my personal reasons.

Right from the start the midwives have said forget fancy prams the best gift is breast. Ive let them say there piece but I'm still confident I am going to bottle feed.

I picked up a tub of milk incase she's early and even that says this product is not recommend unless a Doctor midwife or health care provider advices.

I thought feeding your baby was a personal choice. I think its annoying how they are so pushy with it. Theres nothing wrong with me or my immune system lol.

Just ranting

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I had the same thing with my pregnancy; this one nurse kept preaching "breast is best - especially if you want a healthy baby!" at me every time I went in for an appointment. Drove me up the wall! I appreciated the papers she gave the first time, because I love to research, but it was hard to get her to focus on anything else. The OB that did the delivery wasn't much better, but at least the main nurse respected me enough to just get the bottle without the lecture.

I'm glad I didn't allow them to pressure me into doing something I didn't really want to do, because I had a wonderful experience formula feeding, and have a perfectly healthy little girl that hasn't been sick once. There are so many other factors besides just how they're fed during the first year, and it seems like they forget about that just to push one aspect of taking care of a child. Like you said, so many of us have been formula fed already and have turned out fine. Don't let them force you to do something you're not comfortable with. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

 

[laura109]

Thank you hun. I agree. They are so focused on breast you can't even discuss formula feeding and making up bottles. There is just no support available. Your made to feel like your not doing best by your baby. I lived on a farm growing up for a couple of years. I never get tummy bugs. Its a number of things like you say. Xx

 

[xQuinnx]

I feel the same. When I was pregnant my midwife asked if I was going to breast or bottle feed, I said breast if possible but I wasn't happy with the idea my husband wouldn't be able to feed baby. Anyway 3 days into breastfeeding I had lots of difficulty and we gave formula. When my midwife visited she told me all about expressing, how you could mix feeding and although this was nice I was fuming nothing was said before! Also lots of people say to me 'oh you must be so sad you couldn't breast feed' how cheeky!

 

[laura109]

It doesn't appeal to everyone. It looks hard work. My oh sis does it and she just pulls her breast out infront of her dad brothers uncles etc. Its great shes happy doing it but my dad would run a mile and i would not be confident doing this even infront of my best friend.

Also so many give up or can't carry on. It does not make you a failure. In the old days they'd of loved a bottle option. They should give the pros and cons of both and support the choice made. When she said about not buying a fancy pram i was cross. I have got a £400 mothervare pram/pushchair. I know some people get there babies new prams every few months but thats not up to the midwife xx

 

[krissie328]

I was dead set on BF for the first 6 months. I had no bottles, formula or anything. I had DS and he seemed to be latching and doing what he needed. By the time he was 4 days old he had lost some weight but I was told to keep exclusively BF and to check back in 1 week later. So I did and he was down 2 lbs!! He was so hungry and crying all the time. Turns out I was starving my baby because I was not producing enough.

Thankfully I had a great doctor (my OB not the one who said to EBF) who said I gave him the most important. But right now him eating enough was what was best for him!

I am so angry at that pediatrician for saying to exclusively breastfeed and I listened against my instinct. But now I have a very healthy and happy 6 month old. My next baby is going to be formula fed after the first couple of days because it is what is best for me, my baby and my family. No health worker has the right to tell me otherwise!

Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

 

[laura109]

Its ok. It really is bad how they dont make you aware it may not work. Your son was hungry and loosing weight because of her. Its her job to give you safe advice. If they try push it this time you can tell them that story and they should back off.

at least you know what they are taking with formula. Xx

 

[tublet]

I was dead set on BF for the first 6 months. I had no bottles, formula or anything. I had DS and he seemed to be latching and doing what he needed. By the time he was 4 days old he had lost some weight but I was told to keep exclusively BF and to check back in 1 week later. So I did and he was down 2 lbs!! He was so hungry and crying all the time. Turns out I was starving my baby because I was not producing enough.

Thankfully I had a great doctor (my OB not the one who said to EBF) who said I gave him the most important. But right now him eating enough was what was best for him!

I am so angry at that pediatrician for saying to exclusively breastfeed and I listened against my instinct. But now I have a very healthy and happy 6 month old. My next baby is going to be formula fed after the first couple of days because it is what is best for me, my baby and my family. No health worker has the right to tell me otherwise!

Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

I went through the same thing and baby was hospitalised as a result - I felt awful for ages afterwards thankfully I had a lovely midwife and HV who had some common sense!

 

[krissie328]

I was dead set on BF for the first 6 months. I had no bottles, formula or anything. I had DS and he seemed to be latching and doing what he needed. By the time he was 4 days old he had lost some weight but I was told to keep exclusively BF and to check back in 1 week later. So I did and he was down 2 lbs!! He was so hungry and crying all the time. Turns out I was starving my baby because I was not producing enough.

Thankfully I had a great doctor (my OB not the one who said to EBF) who said I gave him the most important. But right now him eating enough was what was best for him!

I am so angry at that pediatrician for saying to exclusively breastfeed and I listened against my instinct. But now I have a very healthy and happy 6 month old. My next baby is going to be formula fed after the first couple of days because it is what is best for me, my baby and my family. No health worker has the right to tell me otherwise!

Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

I went through the same thing and baby was hospitalised as a result - I felt awful for ages afterwards thankfully I had a lovely midwife and HV who had some common sense!

I think we were pretty lucky he wasn't hospitalized. After reading up on the signs of dehydration it was pretty obvious. I am just thankful next time we will know better. We are now with a different pediatrician who is supportive of our decision.

 

[whattoexpect]

I had a similar incident and took dd to emergency when she was a couple days old because she wouldn't stay awake to feed. When I took her in they said she was grams away from being admitted. I didn't know she was starving! I was devastated. I went to the breastfeeding clinics every day for 8 days, they couldn't get her to latch half the time...i just couldn't do it at home. The hardest thing I did was decide to formula feed, but I needed too keep her alive and the two of us couldn't figure it out even with expert help.

I was so heartbroken every time I read the side of the can.."breast is best" as if I didn't have enough guilt....

Anyway this time I intend to try breastfeeding again, but I have already bought some formula in case it doesn't work for us, or I decide that is what works best.

So much about parenting is difficult. If there are ways to make yourself and your lo less stressed than that is what's best imo

 

[felix555]

I was dead set on BF for the first 6 months. I had no bottles, formula or anything. I had DS and he seemed to be latching and doing what he needed. By the time he was 4 days old he had lost some weight but I was told to keep exclusively BF and to check back in 1 week later. So I did and he was down 2 lbs!! He was so hungry and crying all the time. Turns out I was starving my baby because I was not producing enough.

Thankfully I had a great doctor (my OB not the one who said to EBF) who said I gave him the most important. But right now him eating enough was what was best for him!

I am so angry at that pediatrician for saying to exclusively breastfeed and I listened against my instinct. But now I have a very healthy and happy 6 month old. My next baby is going to be formula fed after the first couple of days because it is what is best for me, my baby and my family. No health worker has the right to tell me otherwise!

Sorry that was a bit of a rant.

I went through the same thing and baby was hospitalised as a result - I felt awful for ages afterwards thankfully I had a lovely midwife and HV who had some common sense!

I think we were pretty lucky he wasn't hospitalized. After reading up on the signs of dehydration it was pretty obvious. I am just thankful next time we will know better. We are now with a different pediatrician who is supportive of our decision.

I had a similar experience but my baby was actually hospitalized for dehydration. It was awful.

OP I wouldn't worry about the judgement, people will always find things to judge ... even breastfeeding people get judged and even innocent comments can offend people for instance saying things like "I don't want to whip my boob out in public" can be offensive to those that bf in public, not that I think you mean offence I'm just pointing out what a contentious issue this is. I was sitting in a cafe giving my LO his bottle and my friend was breastfeeding .... she was asked to stop. Not even to cover up but stop feeding her baby as it was offending customers.

I never felt judgement personally from health care professionals I only really come across judgement for formula feeding online.

 

[MindUtopia]

I would just really urge you to try not to take it too personally. People are rude and medical professionals can be unprofessional, but it's not just about formula feeding. People are just as rude and medical professionals just as unprofessional when it comes to breastfeeding too. I had so many midwives try to discourage me from breastfeeding, to the point of bullying and making threats to take my daughter to hospital with them if I didn't give her formula. I had one tell me that she formula fed all three of her kids and if it was good enough for her babies, it was good enough for mine and I needed to stop trying to act like I was better by breastfeeding. Breastfeeding mums get harassed and kicked out of restaurants and stores, etc. The truth is that people can be mean-spirited and too much of what gets passed off as medical advice ('breast is best' or 'you shouldn't breastfeed as you'll starve your baby or deprive them of nutrients') is just people's opinions and comes from their own deep-seated insecurities. That's not to say that there isn't a lot of scientific evidence to support the value of breastmilk (as well as some saying that formula feeding under the right circumstances produces the same outcomes) but that usually isn't what people are relying on when they say mean things, a lot of it is just personal and comes from what makes them personally uncomfortable. So try not to let it get to you. We all get crap slung at us for how we parent. I actually had so much more negativity about me breastfeeding than I ever did when I was formula feeding (which was for much longer), but I also had friends and family tell me I was going to kill my baby 'because I was 'x' (insert whatever it was they personally wouldn't do themselves)'. She's now nearly 2, still alive and doing perfectly fine. It shouldn't invalidate your feelings and you have a right to feel angry when people are disrespectful or unprofessional (they don't have the right to be either) and you should complain if it's a medical provider. But it's also so important not to let it get to you too much. You know the choices you made were for the best and you should feel proud of yourself for that.

 

[felix555]

I would just really urge you to try not to take it too personally. People are rude and medical professionals can be unprofessional, but it's not just about formula feeding. People are just as rude and medical professionals just as unprofessional when it comes to breastfeeding too. I had so many midwives try to discourage me from breastfeeding, to the point of bullying and making threats to take my daughter to hospital with them if I didn't give her formula. I had one tell me that she formula fed all three of her kids and if it was good enough for her babies, it was good enough for mine and I needed to stop trying to act like I was better by breastfeeding. Breastfeeding mums get harassed and kicked out of restaurants and stores, etc. The truth is that people can be mean-spirited and too much of what gets passed off as medical advice ('breast is best' or 'you shouldn't breastfeed as you'll starve your baby or deprive them of nutrients') is just people's opinions and comes from their own deep-seated insecurities. That's not to say that there isn't a lot of scientific evidence to support the value of breastmilk (as well as some saying that formula feeding under the right circumstances produces the same outcomes) but that usually isn't what people are relying on when they say mean things, a lot of it is just personal and comes from what makes them personally uncomfortable. So try not to let it get to you. We all get crap slung at us for how we parent. I actually had so much more negativity about me breastfeeding than I ever did when I was formula feeding (which was for much longer), but I also had friends and family tell me I was going to kill my baby 'because I was 'x' (insert whatever it was they personally wouldn't do themselves)'. She's now nearly 2, still alive and doing perfectly fine. It shouldn't invalidate your feelings and you have a right to feel angry when people are disrespectful or unprofessional (they don't have the right to be either) and you should complain if it's a medical provider. But it's also so important not to let it get to you too much. You know the choices you made were for the best and you should feel proud of yourself for that.

Agree with this when my LO was readmitted to hospital because of my supply issues they were constantly doing blood tests to check his bloods because of it and when I asked in tears why they have to do it so often (I was upset seeing my newborn cry from the tests) I was told it was my fault as I was refusing to fully formula feed.

 

[skunkpixie]

With it being my 4th&5th babies, I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to feeding and my feeding choices these days.

With my first I was adamant I was going to breastfeed. I couldn't understand why any mother would CHOOSE to formula feed and not even offer the breast, and I admit (shamefully, very shamefully) I looked down on parents who decided to "just shove a bottle in their baby's mouths" . I was very naive and suck up all the "breast is best" propaganda being shoved at me from every angle. Whilst I still believe breast milk is NUTRITIONALLY more ideal than formula, it stops there. All the stuff they try to throw at you about bonding etc has no actual evidence to back it up. I know from my own experience that I feel no more or less bonded to my ebf child (DD1) than I do to my eff children (dd2 and dd3). Yes, shock horror, I decided that formula feeding my subsequent children from birth would be the best option even after successfully breastfeeding my first for 22 months. I realised that the marginal nutritional benefit of giving my babies breast milk did not out weigh all the other potentially negative issues that may have arisen if I did breastfeed. This was MY personal choice, which I am very happy with. I feel no guilt. If someone had the cheek to come up to me and be nasty about my feeding decisions I would probably think they were off their rocker and pity them for having nothing better to do! I understand that health care professionals are duty bound to promote and encourage breastfeeding, which is great providing that the mother is happy to give it a go. When the midwife tried to give me the breastfeeding talk at my initial (9 week!) appointment, I told her that I was happy in my decision to formula feed but would take her leaflets so she could tick the box! I had my at home health visitor visit at 28 weeks where breastfeeding was brought up again. I just told her that I was happy with my decision to formula feed, and potentially if either baby decided to crawl up my body and latch themselves (which she insisted they would definately do. I've heard it can happen, but none of my 3 did, not even my breastfed dd) I wouldn't stop them if that's what they wanted, but I wouldn't be offering the breast more than likely. I know my twins will grow up happy and healthy whether they are breastfed or formula fed just like my other children are. Xxxx

 

[sbl]

Tbh when I said I was going to ff I was very firm about it with mw and Dr.
They never questioned me. I had been rather ill during my pregnancy and I wasn't going to be made feel guilty or bad for not bf.

My child my choice.

The way I see it is if your baby is being fed and is thriving what does it matter to anyone else.

Sure breast is best no one can say otherwise but no mother should ever be made to feel like she is wrong for ff.

 

[xQuinnx]

It seems no matter how you feed your baby it's wrong in the eyes of some people. When I told someone I was expressing they asked why I didn't just 'put her on my breast' and they looked down on me despite my explanations. I feel incredibly guilty and a bit if a failure for not breast feeding even though I know I shouldn't. I did what was best for my family.

 

[Autumnflower]

It makes me so sad to read how difficult and guilty new moms feel regarding what to feed their baby. It doesn't matter if its formula or breast milk as long as the mom and baby are healthy and happy. There is already way too much pressure on moms these days. Having it thrown in your face that breast is better or formula is better is just rediculous. In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't make a difference. In 15 years, when you have a hormonal teenager driving you crazy it won't make one difference whether you bottle or breast fed. Lol! Seriously though I was formula fed from birth and my husband was breast fed until he could walk and we both turned out happy and healthy and were both holy terrors as kids/teenagers. Don't feel guilty moms!!! You're doing a fab job no matter what you choose!

 

[laura109]

I agree. I never get tummy bugs etc. My dad was a farmer till in was 8. I think the farm etc gave me an immune system. I'm sure breast fed or bottle fed babies vary with the amount of colds etc they get. I think both ways are good x

 

[sarah34]

After 3 days breast feeding I was exhausted and in agony however I couldn't bring myself to tell the midwives at the hospital that i wanted to give him a bottle. Thankfully one of the midwives said 'I'm not supposed to say this but it's clear you don't want to carry on so just give him a bottle.' I did and he slept 3 hours solid!

Everyone makes u feel ashamed to be formula feeding but I actually think it's better. My son is healthy, happy, sleeps through the night and hardly ever gets ill!

 

[CormacksGirl]

I formula fed my son from the minute he was born and I told my Midwife early on in pregnancy that I would be formula feeding and not once was it questioned! My reason was my OH wasn't entitled to paternity leave and there was no way I was spending the first few weeks of my sons life struggling and stressing over whether he was latching right or getting enough food! I was going to be home alone all day with him I wanted it to be as stress free as possible.

I was in a ward with two other ladies who were up all night with their newborns breast feeding and both were in tears feeling like failures because their Lo wouldn't settle. What I don't get is if breast is best/ the most natural thing in the world/ the way babies are meant to be fed then why do so many women and babies struggle with it?

I'm pregnant with my second and also plan to formula feed this time too.