Might take the pain medication.. Completely against what I originally had planned..

[starshinebby]

So I've been in the hospital since 9pm last night for leaking waters. By the time I got through admitting and triage it was closer to 11. They decided that because I tested positive for group b strep I had to stay. Wasn't having contractions so they have me the choice between cytotect or Pitocin (taking nothing was not an option, I asked and told them that I didn't want to be induced and they kept telling me I had to be because of my waters going and whatnot). So I took the Pitocin. I've been on Pitocin since about 1 (they let me eat before starting it so I had to wait an hour) and its now 7 so almost 20 hours on Pitocin.

I haven't been internally checked once. They don't want to introduce any bacteria since I ruptured. So I have no idea how far along I am or have to go because they want me on active labor and its just not happening. They said that of the Pitocin doesn't bring on the desired contractions and active labor then we'll have to reconsider cytotect.

I'm really tempted to toss out my no pain medication an and get something for the pain as I don't see me going into active labor until tomorrow.. That way I can just ask them to up the Pitocin and see how that goes. Most of my pain manager can't be used with me hooked up to IVs and the continuous fetal heart monitor because of the Pitocin.

Ugh, I guess I just needed to vent. This didn't start or is going how I had hoped for. So tired already. I haven't been able to get much sleep and just want this to be over.. Next time, I'm doing a home birth for sure.. I feel like I failed my son by even thinking of getting some type of pain killer..

 

[TriChick]

You haven't failed your son by any means, hun. Relax and listen you your body, you know what is best and what will work for you. I will be the first to say that rarely do things go the way we plan them in birth. Pitocin is a bear, too. I remember those contractions, they were nasty. If you chose to go natural, awesome. But if you chose to use pain meds, that is perfectly fine too hun. Labor is a total bitch either way, and you should feel incredibly proud of the accomplishment regardless of what you chose! Do NOT beat yourself up over it either way, or think that you are screwing things up for your son. Trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities to feel that way later on in life (we all face them!). I went into my labor undecided regarding pain management, and after pitocin and cyctotec (like you, my water had ruptured but no contractions at first) I ended up having an epidural as I was physically exhausted and sick. Although I would like to try going natural this next time, I don't regret getting pain relief as I felt that was the best decision for me at the time. P.S. I don't think LO minded it too much either. I felt bad at first, but he seemed no worse for the wear and came out healthy and VERY alert Good luck mama, and congrats!

 

[starshinebby]

Oh gosh! You don't know how badly I needed to hear all that. I've just started the cytotect as I can't keep putting LO through these seemingly pointless contractions (seemingly because I'm sure they've opened me up as I did loose my mucous plug but as soon as the pit is off, nothing). So hopefully all goes well. At this point my plans are out the window (except for my post delivery plans like breast feeding). I just want my LO out and in mine and my OH's arms.

Thank you again for taking the time to write all that. It's just what I needed to hear.

 

[TriChick]

No problem hun, I totally know what it's like. In the end what matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mama! Your story sounds just like mine, I can promise you that I stopped beating myself up the second he was born. All my expectations and guilt COMPLETELY disappeared, and I was just stoked that he was here and happy.

P.S. Funny enough, I just noticed that my water broke at the same time of night as yours, and I had him on at 38+6. Even weirder, I'm from Santa Cruz! Lol a little creepiness to distract you from the pain for a second Good luck!!

 

[starshinebby]

Whoa! That's a whole lot in common! This was fate that you happened by my post. Thank you so much. I came to that realization earlier. To hell with how he gets here as long as we're both okay in the end.

You're a saint. Thank you!

 

[MindUtopia]

Like the above poster said, just listen to your body and do what feels right. Of course you want the best for your son and sounds like you've done a great job so far under difficult circumstances. I did have a home birth (which, yes, I'd totally recommend next time if that feels right) and didn't need any pain relief, but if I'd been induced, there's no way I would have wanted to do it without. Induction is hard on your body and you're doing amazing for coping so well so far! But just listen to your gut and do what you need to do. The reality is that we plan so well for all these things and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything just right, but it's okay to alter these plans and just go with the path we need to. I had an awesome natural birth, but my daughter really struggled with latching and I wasn't able to breastfeed her for 6 days after she was born. Long story short, I developed all sorts of problems with supply and then got recurring mastitis and then developed a skin problem on my breast, which made breastfeeding incredibly painful even with lots of help from BF counselors. I had all these dreams of breastfeeding her long-term, but we only lasted 8 weeks before I had to switch her to formula. I still feel really sad and guilty about it, but I accept that it's the best I could do under the circumstances. She's happy and healthy and doing fine, and more than anything, it's me who has struggled with my expectations not being met. Sounds like you are doing the best you can given things didn't start off as you expected them to and your son will be so thankful you made the choices you needed to in order for you both to have the best birth possible. So hang in there! Do what you need to. And yes, get some rest if you can. It will be awesome when he's here.