milestones, am I doing something wrong?

[calm]

So I know how every baby is supposed to develop at a different age and its all very individual, but I'm getting a bit annoyed about the fact my babies are still not sitting up on their own. They are 7 and a half months old, and they will sit for a second or so and they will topple to the side. They typically throw themselves back and want to lie down or the lazy bubs will use my tummy as a support. I also expected them to hold their own bottles by now. I would never have said that they seem behind in general. Am I doing something wrong or could I help them in some way that I am not doing? They do a lot of tummy time and roll a lot back and forth, playing with toys, they have a large twin play pen where I do play and learning with them but the sitting isn't happening and I'm getting a bit frustrated. I try not to force it and I use my legs as a frame for them not to fall over, I put toys in front of them and dangle them in front of them too to strengthen their backs. They often seem happy to sit with me and play but just don't seem to want to learn to sit on their own. They often sit on our laps and have good head control and what seems a strong back and balance, so just not sure.

 

[Nataliieexo]

mines 10 months and he doesn't hold his bottle he's never tried I don't mind he can hold a cup with handles for his water though, he also was later for sitting think it was 7-8 months and he isn't crawling I'm finding this one stressful because he's one next month so it seems like he should be and I know he could skip it but he isn't climbing or cruising. he will only tolerate Tummy time for 5 mins and then screams the house downs, he is so close to crawling but I have been saying this for over a month so I don't know when it will be.

 

[StaceyKor]

Both of my girls have been quite physically strong in terms of sitting, crawling etc according to books but neither were holding bottles at 7.5 months. DD1 first held her bottle at 11 months and thats because we were out and i was rushing around. She needed fed in her buggy and I had an appointment to get to so i made her hold the bottle. Up til then i did feed her all the time and never actually gave her the option to feed herself. She fed herself quite often after that.

Dd2 is 9 months and has only held her bottle a few times. Even at that she gets bored and wont actually feed herself the whole bottle.

Both have been able to feed themselves from sippy and straw cups of water from 6 months though. Have you tried either of those xx

 

[calm]

The bottle bit would be a great help for me as they are two of them, but its the sitting bit that is starting to worry me a little

 

[AK89]

Every baby's different, try not to get too caught up on milestones and specific ages.. They'll get there

 

[StaceyKor]

My friends twins were still very wobbly at sitting at 9.5 months. They are perfectly fine now and are starting to walk at almost 16 months xx

 

[Larkspur]

Were they born early? Twins can often be a little 'behind' on milestones because they're based on averages approximated from due dates.

Having said that, I know two full-term babies who didn't sit wholly unsupported until eight or nine months so I wouldn't even describe them as "behind" at this point.

It sounds like you are feeling a bit frustrated because it would make life just a bit easier for you once they're sitting. Are you feeling well-supported yourself?

 

[calm]

I have heard that twins take longer to do things, goodness knows how the speaking bit will be as on top of everything else they have 2 languages going on. They were premature, though needed no nicu time, came at 35 weeks more or less, I sometimes think that due to this they take just that bit longer to do things. I have a lot of support and help, a lot of the time anyway, I do sometimes have weeks completely on my own. But when I get help they get a lot of one to one. I think this video I will include below has created expectations for me. When the twins were 4 months old I used to watch this video and think when they get to the 8 month stage they will able to hold their own bottles and sit up and crawl around... (these twins don¡t only hold their own bottles, they crawl to get them!) I suppose its just not like that for everyone and I'm accepting that now, I suppose they will do it in their own time, I just hope I am giving them the right stimulation to meet their milestones

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNYs9E1pG8s

 

[Larkspur]

Other people may differ, but honestly, I don't believe any normal child requires help to reach their milestones (and I say "normal" with an extremely wide definition).

Kids crawl, walk, roll, sit, grab, talk, learn the alphabet, catch a ball, etc all in their own time. I can honestly say I did not do a thing to teach either of my kids to sit up, roll, crawl, walk, talk or sleep. I just interacted with them normally like I would with any person I love.

I didn't give them any special tools or devices or toys or stimulation to "help" them learn to do anything. I didn't do tummy time. I didn't finger walk. I never even put my daughter into a sitting position. I nursed them to sleep every time. And they both rolled, crawled, sat, walked, talked, and well, my daughter is not actually sleeping through yet, but she'll do that at some point too.

Unless a child has true special needs, they will just get there in their own time.

Don't stress yourself out, Mama! You already have enough on your hands!

 

[Linnypops]

I would honestly go by due date for your milestones. If they were born at 35 weeks irrespective of nicu time then to me they would be about 6-6.5 months in real terms rather than 7.5 months. I also agree with larkspur that there's not a great deal you can do to hurry milestones along. Lord knows I tried to get my daughter crawling every day. She seemed so close but so far. Then one day entirely out of the blue she started cruising and crawling on the same day. Her muscles were just ready. The only thing I really did do before she started was I stopped interfering when she got frustrated but was trying to do something herself. I just started hanging back a bit and although it was agonising to see her frustrated I think it helped.

 

[Brightxeyes]

If they were premature by five weeks, I would always say that they can be up to five weeks behind. There is no right or wrong. I think if they're sitting supported, thats great!

I wouldn't worry at all! Just encourage them to practice when they have the most energy. The one day my little one went from pushing himself up on his arms, then he suddenly managed to push his bum in the air as if he's doing some kind of yoga position haha and then the very next day, he was in a 'crawl position' bouncing back and forth. Two days later he could manouver himself in circles, and kind of eventually wiggles forward.

It happens so suddenly. Like out of nowhere. and once they do it they won't stop! I thought it would be much more gradual. But literally one day he can't do it, and one day he can!

My boy tries to hold his bottle, but its not like he can hold it in the right position the whole time, I let go for a few seconds at a time.

I bought these handles for tommy tippee bottles that you can just click onto the regular bottles. I put them on but he's not interested in the handles all the time. He grabs them but he moves his arms around a lot so if I wasn't holding on he'd throw it across the room!

Maybe invest in some of those handles. Encourage them to put their hands there, and eventually they'll get the hold of it

 

[Leliana]

My little dude is just over 6 months but nowhere near sitting up unsupported. He can do a few seconds and then topples sideways. He also hates it and cries if I put him in the position. I can well imagine that at 7.5 months he still may not be sitting! My DD on the other hand was a very confident sitter at this age so it's all new territory. He'll get there, as will your LOs, hopefully sooner rather than later! As an aside, my DD was bottlefed until 14 months and never once held her bottle. She refused. In her eyes it was a comfort thing, not a drink thing.

 

[fieryphoenix]

My lo didn't sit until 9.5 months, they got plenty of time!

 

[Googiepie]

I agree with Larkspur. I didn't do anything special with my daughter to help her crawl, walk, etc. She started army crawling and one day she just got on all fours and started "regular" crawling. Same with walking...she wouldn't finger walk and wouldn't go from person to person if we tried to get her to walk. She would just pull herself up and do it on her own.

Maybe get them bottles with handles? That's what I did with my little one. She didn't start holding her bottle without handles till 8/9 months. Don't worry, all babies are different. They were also premature so like previous posters said go with your due date. I know it can be frustrating and worrisome but babies will go from not being able to sit up unassisted to sitting up by themselves overnight. Sounds like you're doing everything you can.

 

[SarahBear]

Feeding should be a bonding experience. Why do you want them holding their own bottles? In terms of sitting, I'm not sure when it's a red flag, but it sounds like they're given opportunities and are growing and developing. What does their pediatrician say. (Only read first post, so disregard any already answered questions as I'll go back and read the thread)

 

[calm]

Feeding should be a bonding experience. Why do you want them holding their own bottles? In terms of sitting, I'm not sure when it's a red flag, but it sounds like they're given opportunities and are growing and developing. What does their pediatrician say. (Only read first post, so disregard any already answered questions as I'll go back and read the thread)

Naturally because I do not wish to bond with my sons

I agree with Larkspur. I didn't do anything special with my daughter to help her crawl, walk, etc. She started army crawling and one day she just got on all fours and started "regular" crawling. Same with walking...she wouldn't finger walk and wouldn't go from person to person if we tried to get her to walk. She would just pull herself up and do it on her own.

Maybe get them bottles with handles? That's what I did with my little one. She didn't start holding her bottle without handles till 8/9 months. Don't worry, all babies are different. They were also premature so like previous posters said go with your due date. I know it can be frustrating and worrisome but babies will go from not being able to sit up unassisted to sitting up by themselves overnight. Sounds like you're doing everything you can.

Yes, I've heard the over night thing, and I do generally feel better about it all after sharing and reading you all, its just when the worries/frustrations are rattling round your own head that they feel worse. Being a FTM times two can be very daunting at times and its hard to try and meet all their needs when I'm on my own with them, especially as one of them is basically high needs and cries at almost anything (which I sometimes wonder if jeopardizes his development). Feeding them on my own can be very hard. They have always been very demanding and hungry boys. If I'm not quick, one will get in a state about it and I'll have to get him of the high chair, and feed him in my knee with the same hand I'm holding him while I feed the other twin in his highchair to keep him happy (not easy with 2 bottles) ! He will get into a state so quickly, like from 1 to 10, thats from no where, he will be so so worked up i have to cool him down before he will even eat. I'm on my own tomorrow for the week so lets see how it goes. The same goes with spooning food. I have to feed them super quick and even then they cry the moment they see a spoonfull going towards their brother. I have to put music on, and dance about as I feed to distract them and it doesn't always work. Anyway, they are actually seeming to sit better and for up to 5 seconds without toppling so maybe ther are getting there! I think they are just not ready or don't want to sit up, and for that reason push themselves back after a while.

 

[star1]

Feeding should be a bonding experience. Why do you want them holding their own bottles?

OMG, I don't even know how to react to this. As another twin mum, I'm also looking forward to the day my babies hold their own bottles. Yes, I feed them separately whenever I can with a nice cuddle but it doesn't always work that way. How bonding do you think it is to feed a baby while your other baby screams their head off? How binding do you think it is to have to pick which child to deal with first when they both wake up screaming for a bottle at exactly the same time (it often happens where one babies cries wakes up the second baby and they both realise how hungry they are)

Back to the original question, I really wouldn't worry about siting yet. I know a few people who's babies didn't sit until 9 or 10 months and they're absolutely fine. Also, as someone said you should look at adjusted age (due date age) rather than real age when thinking about any milestones for premature babies x

 

[whigfield]

My LO is the same age and can't hold a bottle yet (he probably could, but he definitely can't be bothered ) He can hold a sippy cup, but he doesn't know how to tilt it to get the water out. He's only just started to sit up unassisted properly. He would do the same thing - throw himself backwards or forwards or just tilt and fall. In the end that became less and less and I 'trust' him when I sit him up now. I'm in some September baby groups on facebook and I felt really worried that my LO wasn't sitting up when all the other babies seemed to be, but I think they just learn at their own pace!

 

[Leliana]

I'm not a twin mum but I do have two children and sometimes I wish I could split myself in half so I can attend to them at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have two children with exactly the same needs. Especially babies who are too young to reason with. I can at least explain to my toddler why she has to wait. That is not possible with a baby that wants their needs met immediately. I think it is easy to have strong opinions about what is 'best' but in reality you have to do what you can. I can totally understand why having at least one of your babies holding a bottle would make life a LOT easier. My best friend is a twin mum and both boys held their bottles. I think it was more preferable to waiting when the time came how do they handle finger food? That may be an option to help distract whilst you feed one baby then swap? Either way, you're doing a great job Mama.

 

[calm]

I'm not a twin mum but I do have two children and sometimes I wish I could split myself in half so I can attend to them at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have two children with exactly the same needs. Especially babies who are too young to reason with. I can at least explain to my toddler why she has to wait. That is not possible with a baby that wants their needs met immediately. I think it is easy to have strong opinions about what is 'best' but in reality you have to do what you can. I can totally understand why having at least one of your babies holding a bottle would make life a LOT easier. My best friend is a twin mum and both boys held their bottles. I think it was more preferable to waiting when the time came how do they handle finger food? That may be an option to help distract whilst you feed one baby then swap? Either way, you're doing a great job Mama.

It would make it easier, they do actually hold it sometimes, for a bit, but don't really want to and drop it to one side. They always help it in as they always so ready for it but then say: You do it! I too know twin mummies that have taught their twins to bottle feed, for many its the only way to survive. We now have 4 scheduled meals/feeds, and they have to feed together, it just won't work any other way or the other one just goes mad and spoils the other twins feed or meal. They don't do finger food yet, I think its at 8 months, and possibly where I live (Spain) I think it might be even later. Thank you for your kind words, I tell myself that on a very bad day lol