milestones, am I doing something wrong?

[calm]

Well, I was feeling better until I just watched some videos on ways to help your baby sit. The last one said "if your baby is not sitting up by 7 months old I would consult your paediatrician " Feeling down again now

 

[LeannieB]

Well, I was feeling better until I just watched some videos on ways to help your baby sit. The last one said "if your baby is not sitting up by 7 months old I would consult your paediatrician " Feeling down again now

Hi please dont worry. My little boy is 7 months and he can sit up but he is still wobbly sometimes. I took him to be weighed today and mentioned to health visitor and she said perfectly fine. There is a little boy in our vocal baby group and he has only just started sitting and he is 9 months. I have 2 older boys as well and my eldest was late with all his milestones and didnt walk until 17 months but my 4 year old was early with all of his. They are all so different. xx

 

[Googiepie]

A lot of the baby is supposed to be doing X by this age is a load of crap, to be honest. Every baby develops on their own time. Some babies will do things earlier, some later. I think it just causes unnecessary worry and panic in parents. If it was that simple, then babies would come with instruction manuals.

 

[calm]

I'm feeling better again now, as I was reading up about babies being premature and the adjusted age thing. It would make them 6 months 1 week, and it says that anytime between 6 and 7 months of adjusted age is "normal" for premature babies. I am getting them to sit a bit more without toppling by using a mirror! My DH keeps rolling his eyes and calling me paranoid lol

 

[Larkspur]

I think it's really important (for own sanity!) to keep perspective on the big picture rather than focussing on what can be quite arbitrary 'average' or 'normal' milestones for individual activities.

So rather than asking "Is my child doing X by X age and Y by Y age", it's more productive to ask yourself "Is my child showing signs of progress towards X or Y? Are they closer to achieving them than they were a month or two months ago?"

If you can answer yes to those latter questions, then I don't think there's anything to worry about.

My daughter rolled at seven weeks and my son rolled at eight months. There's nothing "normal" or "average" about either of those numbers, but both my children's physical development falls squarely in the normal spectrum overall.

 

[MrsPear]

Glad you are feeling a bit better about it already.

My daughter sat unaided at just under 6 months (for short periods anyway) but my son is 5.5 months and no way will he do it! He will be another month at least I am sure, he tilts badly even if I am fully supporting him. I would not be surprised if he isn't sitting unaided by 7.5 months because he really is not practising or interested in that skill right now. Then again, my daughter didn't even roll over until about 10 months (or crawl until 12 months) and my son can roll and is desperate to crawl.

I haven't parented them any differently other than just following their leads. My son likes to be on his tummy and spends a lot of time there, my daughter hated it and would not spend a single minute on her tummy until 10 months or older. So I just did what suited them.

If I didn't hold my daughter sitting up so much when she was a baby, maybe she would have crawled sooner, who knows, but then again she'd also have done a lot more crying because it's definitely not what she wanted. Same with my son, maybe if I held him upright more he'd be closer to sitting (he's only 5.5 months but noticeably less skilled at sitting with support than the other babies I know his age, he requires full support not just help balancing) but he's happier on his tummy so I just let him get on with it.

I think you just naturally do what the child prefers. You don't even need to think about it. When the baby cries or writhes, you pick the baby up and try something else etc. That's their only real way to communicate and I highly highly doubt you are leaving your twins in positions they dont enjoy (you sound like a really dedicated mum in all your posts) so from that I already know you're doing everything you need to to encourage their development. I really think the thing to do is just follow their cures and they'll let you know what order/speed they want to learn stuff.

When my daughter was 10 months she went to the paediatrician due to slow growth, and she said to me about development exactly what Larkspur has put. When I said Joni wasn't walking or weight bearing yet (she couldn't weight bear until 14.5 months) she simply asked, "but is she getting better muscle tone over time and improving her posture, movements, coordination etc". She was only interested in progression, not ticking off a single specific milestone.

It's definitely easier when they can sit up. I'm sure with twins it will be doubly so because you have to be forever sorting two people. When they can sit it's so much easier to feed them and they can get to their toys from a better angle. I can totally understand why you are getting frustrated, don't think I'm saying I can't! But I definitely don't think you need to worry or stress or think you are getting something wrong. They are happy on their tummies and you are simply following their lead letting them play however they feel comfiest. Xx

 

[Leliana]

Ah Mrs Pear, you always say what I want to say but better

 

[calm]

Thank you. I do completely agree, and as a teacher I've often said similar things, I just knew I wouldn't take my own advice come the time. Its my insecurities as a FTM plus being exhausted and stressed which amplify things like this. Must remember to stay in the moment instead of leaping ahead to the next milestone X

 

[MrsPear]

Thank you. I do completely agree, and as a teacher I've often said similar things, I just knew I wouldn't take my own advice come the time. Its my insecurities as a FTM plus being exhausted and stressed which amplify things like this. Must remember to stay in the moment instead of leaping ahead to the next milestone X

Lol me too. I'm giving all the other babies sideways glances to see exactly how fee behind Doug is with his sitting compared to them. Yet I know 190% I don't need to do that. I even had a cry the other day in case she doesn't make friends in secondary school. Talk about worrying unnecessarily!! Unfortunately I think you can only go so far to avoid it...it's just part and parcel of being a mum! Xx

 

[Rurin]

I have boy/girl twins who are just over 7 months and she has been ahead of him the whole time even though she's the littler one.
She rolled weeks before he did and therefore has had loads more tummy time and can sit up beautifully. He has only been bothered to start rolling in the last 10 days and can't sit up for even a second! I'm not worried as I've got friends with baby boys who all seem to be slower than girls in development. I'm sure your lads will get there!

 

[Buttercup84]

It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong at all. I totally get how disheartening it is when you read/hear about other babies meeting milestones early but it's all stuff that really doesn't matter in the long run IMO. My 3 year old was quite late with her physical milestones and I worried so much about it and convinced myself it was my own fault somehow but she's absolutely fine now. When I look at all the kids in her nursery class I honestly couldn't even guess who crawled/walked/whatever at what age My 7 month old is much more physical and I most definitely haven't done anything to actively encourage it!

 

[calm]

Thought I would update.

My boys are now 9 months and a half. My most active twin has been crawling for over a week, and though he always refused to sit for a minute when we tried to make him, now goes from crawling to sitting on his own. He is also on his knees and I think he will lift himself up soon. His brother always seems behind him, and rolls about all over the place as his brother did before, but doesn't show any of the pre signs of crawling that his brother had been showing for over a month. He does sit quite well, but prefers as his brother to be either on his back or tummy. No-one saw anything to be concerned about when they had their checkup, so just trying to accept that they take their own pace. Also it can be hard when having twins as its very hard not to compare, but always remind myself that they are two completely different babies that happen to share their birthday X