Missed Miscarriage and ERPC

[RacyRaspberry]

After conceiving which took 6 months, we were so pleased to be expecting out baby, I had an early scan at 6.5 weeks and saw a strong healthy baby with a strong heartbeat.
Last week I had very minor bleed at 11 weeks, it was so minor i didn't need a pad, only when i wiped from the toilet. As a precaution i called the midwife and she told me to rest and arranged for a scan in the morning.
We went in first thing in the morning and my bleeding had even stopped, the consultant said it wasnt uncommon to have a minor settling in bleed and she was sure it was fine, we went in for the scan and everything went downhill...
The sonographer with an external scan could see the sac, which was very elongated so changed to an internal scan, there hiding at the back was the baby that hadn't grown since 8 weeks and no heartbeat at all.
The sonographer said she was sorry and told us the bad news, they led us into a quiet room and the consultant met us in there, by then myself and my DH were in floods of tears. What had we done wrong?
There is a lot more back ground to this story, why it meant so much to us but I really don't want to bore you and it would probably upset a few people anyway.
We decided to have the ERPC under general to get some closure, my DH didnt want me to be in any pain by waiting for it naturally to happen. So they admitted me straight away.
He followed us to the operating theatre and when i woke up in recovery they told me he hadn't left, stayed outside the whole time i was in there.
We are heartbroken, Im having a test for toxoplasmosis to rule it out before we try again as my cat was sick a few weeks before this happened.
I hope and pray that this doesnt happen again... we so desperately want a child together...
If there is some of you out there who has experienced this and gone on to have a normal healthy baby, please please I would appreciate some comfort...

 

[sumatwsimit]

i'm so so sorry racy. not sure what else to say but x

 

[SabrinaKat]

Please don't blame yourself, unfortunately, miscarriage is common and it is nothing you or your oh did at all.

I had an m/c at 7-8 wks two years ago and am now, almost 17wks (EDD: end of Feb/1st March), but try and take it one day at a time, and we are cautiously hopeful...but it took us a long time to recover.

Pls understand that most of the ladies on this forum have had an m/c and some have gone on to have another baby; it's not you at all, but maybe do some reading about m/c (proper reading, not the internet, who scares me with all its doom and gloom) and maybe you will feel a little less loss....

best wishes

 

[PositiveUs]

I am sorry for your loss. That is all of our worst fears.

 

[mummymurray74]

After conceiving which took 6 months, we were so pleased to be expecting out baby, I had an early scan at 6.5 weeks and saw a strong healthy baby with a strong heartbeat.
Last week I had very minor bleed at 11 weeks, it was so minor i didn't need a pad, only when i wiped from the toilet. As a precaution i called the midwife and she told me to rest and arranged for a scan in the morning.
We went in first thing in the morning and my bleeding had even stopped, the consultant said it wasnt uncommon to have a minor settling in bleed and she was sure it was fine, we went in for the scan and everything went downhill...
The sonographer with an external scan could see the sac, which was very elongated so changed to an internal scan, there hiding at the back was the baby that hadn't grown since 8 weeks and no heartbeat at all.
The sonographer said she was sorry and told us the bad news, they led us into a quiet room and the consultant met us in there, by then myself and my DH were in floods of tears. What had we done wrong?
There is a lot more back ground to this story, why it meant so much to us but I really don't want to bore you and it would probably upset a few people anyway.
We decided to have the ERPC under general to get some closure, my DH didnt want me to be in any pain by waiting for it naturally to happen. So they admitted me straight away.
He followed us to the operating theatre and when i woke up in recovery they told me he hadn't left, stayed outside the whole time i was in there.
We are heartbroken, Im having a test for toxoplasmosis to rule it out before we try again as my cat was sick a few weeks before this happened.
I hope and pray that this doesnt happen again... we so desperately want a child together...
If there is some of you out there who has experienced this and gone on to have a normal healthy baby, please please I would appreciate some comfort...

Hi Honey, im sorry. I hope i can help you...................

In june 2008 we found out we were expecting! We were over the moon as we were getting married in august and we thought we would start trying early as it would take a while, so at last we were pregnant and sooo happy, at 6 weeks i had some stomach pain and rang the hospital who like you, told us to come in for a check, we went in for the scan and there was our baby, happy and healthy with a strong heartbeat we were ecstatic! It turned out that we had a water infection!!!!! I was given antibiotics to clear it up and we went away so happy, i felt so sick from 7 weeks on and it really was hard i felt so rough.

We were due to go on holiday for 2 weeks in july to spain and i thought it would do me good to lay on a sunbed, chill, relax and have a nice time before our big day 2 weeks after we got home, so off we went. While we were away i was feeling so ill and sick, but we took that as a good sign as they say that means there are more hormones and its good. When we returned i felt even worse it was horrible, just sick and ill, nothing else. At 12 weeks i felt so much better and was looking forward to our wedding one weej later but even more to our 13week scan on the monday before our wedding.

I remember that day so vividly even now, i was so excited and we stopped off to get cash out so we could buy a few pictures of our scan. When we got there i was called in and layed down, the lady was quiet which i knew was normal from before until they had checked everything. She then asked me how many weeks i was, and if i had any bleeding at all, even a speck, to which i replied no. I could see the baby on the screen and then she turned off the screen, im sorry but your baby has died......i will NEVER forget those words, and from that point i sobbed uncontrolably, the baby died at 8 weeks i was told??? But i had no clue, no bleeding?? Nothing.

We were taken to a room where we saw the consultant who then told me they would 'leave me a few weeks to see if my body got rid of the baby naturally'!!! through the tears i replied ' what?' I was now 13 weeks pregnant, i had carried my dead baby around for 5 weeks and my body carried on with the pregnancy, AND i was getting married in 5 days time!!! How could i go through the happiest day of my life with our dead baby inside me? I was then offered an erpc the next morning which i took, even though my fiance was worried.
The next morning i cried all the way to the hospital, in the waiting room and as they took me down to theatre, 'what if they were wrong and the baby was alive?' 'what if they damage me doing it' and an overwhelming urge to keep my baby in my womb safe where it should be.......sobbing i counted back from 10,9,8,.....

When i woke in recovery i was sobbing and calling for my baby, i was still not fully conscious when i asked them to bring the baby to me so i could see it, i dont know why, i never will understand why i did that and i dont remember what they showed me thank god! I left there feeling empty like i had never felt, and for some reason like i had murdered my baby, even though i didnt, it was dead, but i felt differently.

I had a missed misscarriage, i had never heard of it and looked into everything i could, blamed everything i did, and over the next few months was so sad, a feeling i will never be able to explain. It took 2 months for my periods to return! But after one period i found out i was expecting again, we were over the moon, but soooooo scared.

I worried about every pain,niggle etc and i went to the hospital twice, once at 6 weejs because i couldnt sleep for fear my baby had died again...but there it was safe and well, but wait that happened last time! then at 7 weeks i started to feel sick.....oh no!!! one week later i terrible pains and went back to hospital, but i wouldnt let my hubby come because i couldnt face anyone being with me when they told me the baby was gone again. I sat there for 5 hours waiting and was taken into the scan room. The man was quiet and i was in tears and then he turned the screen to me and said, your baby is fine and 8 and a half weeks old and well, with a strong heartbeat, you have ligament stretching!!!! I was overjoyed and went home to my hubby to celebrate.

To calm ourselves we bought a baby heartbeat monitor and at 10weeks we managed to find our babys heartbeat!!!!!!! From that day on we listened twice a day right up until the day i went in to hospital for my induction, we were paranoid of course!!!

On 11th July 2009 i gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy...Charlie 6lb.15oz


I will never forget that baby and i often look in our 'special' box i made with the pregnancy test from the baby and the one scan photo i have at 6 weeks along with the scan details print out they sent me home with and all the 1p's i had collected,.....see a penny pick it up all day long you will have good luck!...obviously not that lucky but i kept them anyway. I think of that baby nearly every day and i always will. And i look at our son and i realise how lucky we are, and ive healed of course but i will never forget our baby and a part of me will never be the same.

If you ever need to talk....im here. I hope ive helped you in some way. It is so hard but you will get through it and you will have a healthy baby, i had no explanantion, they tested the baby after it was removed but it was all normal, unexplained and told us we had a 99.9% chance our next baby would be fine....and it was, we now have a gorgeous 2 year old.

We are now struggling to concieve a brother or sister for him and we have been trying for 10 months and have just been referred for tests for secondary infertility, im hoping maybe this month we might be lucky but who knows? ......................

 

[RacyRaspberry]

Thank you for all of your thought and wishes...

 

[Adela Quested]

I'm so sorry sweetie. Thankfully I haven't had this happen myself, but my SIL experienced this when she went for her 12 week scan and her unborn baby-to-be had died. She went through hell with first the drugs to end the pregnancy (which didn't work) then a D&C under local when the nurse was horrible to her After that she went on to have a lovely little boy who is now 3 years old and another son who is 1. So please don't think that it means you can't go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

Also: the oldest woman in my pregnancy class when I had my son was 43 and having her first. There were quite a few of us over 35. to you my dear!