Missed Miscarriage

[Dani88]

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been trying for over two years and about a year and a half ago we found out he isn't producing sperm - we tried everything to reverse this including vitamins, meds, hormones, diet, exercise, surgery to extract sperm for IVF and nothing worked. We grieved the lose of a biological child and were in a good place to start trying with donor sperm. We did our first IUI and it was unsuccessful... we were crushed as I was really hopeful. When the second IUI worked, we couldn't believe it and were so happy. Then at about 5 weeks I started spotting and went to the hospital. They said that everything appeared normal but that it was too early to know for sure and to just relax and come back if the bleeding got worse. Five days later I went back to emerge because I was bleeding so much that I'd soak a heavy pad in 20 minutes or so and there were clots. They ran some tests and did an external ultrasound. I was told I am probably misscarrying and was booked in for an internal ultrasound for the next day. I went home devastated. I had never been more upset about anything in my entire life. The next day comes and I go for the ultrasound and more bloodwork and was told there was a normal healthy heartbeat (114 bmp) and that my baby measured 6 weeks and 2 days. I then went from bleeding back to spotting and have been spotting up until today... but it's gotten better as the days have gone on. I went in for another ultrasound when I was suppose to be 7 weeks and my husband came and we both heard the heartbeat - it was 115 bmp. They said I was measuring at 6 weeks and 4 days so that my due date would be three days later than what I was originally told. They said that everything was good and that the bleeding was okay... it was coming from a subchorionic hematoma which measured about 5x4x3 cm and they said that it should get smaller and absorb on it's own and to come back in a week or two to check on it. I went in yesterday at 8 weeks and 2 days and they told me there is no heartbeat and that the baby is measuring only 7 weeks and 3 days. I now have to go in for a D&C. I am devastated and cannot stop crying and thinking about this. I wish I still had some hope that things would be okay... they said that the tech I got is really good and would not mess up and that once I go from hearing a heartbeat to not hearing it, that that means the baby is dead. Has anyone gone through something like this?

 

[Emerson87]

Unfortunately, I just went through the same thing. Just had my d&c yesterday. I went in for my 10 week appointment and my doctor tried to use the ultrasound in the office and was having a difficult time finding the heartbeat but thought it was just the machine. They sent me to radiology right then and they wouldn't show me the screen or talk to me. Finally I demanded to know what was going on and they said there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring 9w3d. I was in complete shock. I went back to my doctor who went right into getting a d&c and I didn't know how to process it all. When I finally got home I tried to process it all and when I got the call for my scheduled d&c I requested a second ultrasound. They gave it to me on Wednesday and this time I was able to see the baby with no heartbeat. It was devastating. I had my procedure yesterday and I'm an emotional mess today but trying to get by as best I can. I just want to know what if anything is wrong with me but everyone says it's probably just chromosomal issues. I know how you are feeling and it is quite a blow. Especially before Christmas. If you need someone to talk to, I am here.

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm so sorry you are going through this Dani xxx esp after your long journey to get here. I did not get to see my baby's heartbeat, but when I went in for my 8 week ultrasound the baby measured just 6+4 and there was no heartbeat. I had seen all the beautiful ultrasounds in my September 2016 board, so I knew the second we saw the screen that it was not right. I went home and took cytotec that evening and passed the baby three days after that. You won't have to go through that with a D&C. I don't understand why doctors say everything is going well when things aren't progressing as they should. A week after that first ultrasound your baby should have been a bit bigger, but there is an error range of +/-3 days so I guess I get that bit...but the heartbeat not speeding up significantly in that week wasn't a good sign. I get they don't want to worry you needlessly, but being blindsided by that ultrasound at 8 weeks is crushing...I know that all too well.

I was a shell of a person after my MMC. I'd come home from work and just sob. I isolated myself for a while, and I found my own way forward. My own way to grieve. We took a month off of ttc, and then got back to it. I was terrified and I cried and every bfn after that was so much worse. I tried to hold on to hope that we knew it could happen, but that hope faded each month that came and went. Six months later, I was in a deep dark place and life was just pulling me forward. Someone who went through a miscarriage around the same time as me posted this in my journal and it really helped:

Oh I get it, I told her. I get where you're at right now. I know what it's like to long for a new year, I know what it's like to feel like everything is on hold and you don't recognize your own life even though it's right in front of you. I know what it's like when the things that always used to make you happy don't do the trick anymore, because they can't break through the sadness and fear that are covering over everything in your life. I was there I said, and I'm not there anymore, and I'm so thankful. You'll get through this, and you'll find yourself in an entirely new place. You'll find your old self again. You'll laugh easily and sleep well. It will happen. I promise.

I took this to mean that whether we ended up having our baby or not, I would find a way to the other side in my own time, and that for now and for however much longer I needed it was ok that I was in that dark place. Before then I was fighting it. Before then I was kicking myself for not being more positive. Letting go and letting it be was the only thing that helped. I am finding my way to that new place now, starting to feel like my old self a bit again. Not sure I'm laughing easily yet, but I'm sure that will come.

Your journey is different than mine, and you will find your own way forward. Wherever your path takes you, however you need to grieve, whatever time it takes you, I just want you to know that it's ok and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

 

[MKB123]

Hi all,

We just found out that we lost our first baby at 11w2days. Its a missed miscarriage.
I am totally devastated. I am 22. This was our first pregnancy.
My Free beta HCG was 4.5 MoM , PAPP-A was 0.57 MoM. They said the placenta was swollen and had hydropic changes. The baby was moving and had a strong heart beat a week earlier I am RH positive and beta thalassemia minor, my husband does not have thalassemia. I did have flu/fever when I was 4-5 weeks pregnant, but we did not take anything except panadol. I was on folic acid and multi-vitamins since week 4. What could have caused the placenta to have swell? Was this a chromosomal thing? Will it repeat when I TTC again?