Missed Miscarriage

[Kya]

I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of December which was a huge shock as we werent trying, but as I got used to the idea I was so happy.

At 11 weeks I started bleeding and a scan showed the baby had stopped developing at 7wks. My body has since done its job and I am now physically fine. The docs have been great and say I can try again after Ive had my next period and that this shouldnt happen again.

Im just so devastated. I cant stop crying and cant quite believe just how awful Im feeling. My partner of 2yrs who seemed so happy when we first found out has climbed into a box and wont come out. He was fab for the first 2 days after the miscarriage then went home (we dont live together) and I havent seen him since. I have great support from family and friends but feel so abandoned by the only person I really want to have around just now.

Im finding it so hard to cope with the strength of my emotions and I cant believe how much my life has changed in the last 2 months. I never realised how much I wanted a child until I got pregnant, and now its all gone to pot.

 

[susan_1981]

Aw hun, I know how you feel, about the miscarriage anyway. Me and my husband were trying for 3 months and I got pregnant. Was really happy but I didn't feel the happiness I expected to feel, wondering now if that was my body's way of telling something wasn't right. I had the sore boobs and very mild morning sickness which all vanished at around 8/9 weeks. Went for my 12 week scan to find out the baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. Was absolutely devastated. Never thought it would affect me so badly.

My husband bottles up his emotions but even he got really upset, although not openly in front of me. I had an ERPC as my body wasn't miscarrying naturally (although I did start getting mild spotting on xmas day - of all days!). Had my ERPC on the Monday (29th December) and felt quite empty after.

I feel a whole lot better about it now although the shock factor is still there. Maybe give your OH a call and let him know that he can talk to you about it. Sometimes men don't like people seeing their emotions. I know mine is like that but he can't escape me because we live together.

So just try speaking to him and I'm sure you'll get through this. Good luck for the future. Me and my husband are trying again now (even though I haven't had my period yet) but apparently there should be no greater risk of miscarrying again next time.

Try to find support in here and with friends and family xxxx

 

[becky77]

so sorry for your loss , this site will offer lots of support for you.
unfortunately the only thing that will help is time , you should do whatever you need to get through this awful time cry if you have to , rant at the world if yo have to.
A lot of men seem to feel very helpless when this happens as they cant help and dont know what to do so they bury there heads , it is very hurtful though , but you sound like you have wonderful support around you.
again so sorry for your loss.

pm me if you want to chat
x

 

[SJK]

Im so so sorry xxx

 

[sam76]

Hello im so sorry for your loss, i had a missed m/c at the end of oct, i had a normal if that what you can call in m/c in march too, i was so upset i really was, i couldnt believe that it had happened again, and blamed myself! but one thing i had to learn was that no matter what, there was nothing id done to make this happen, and learn that it wasnt my fault, cry was all i done for a while, and on new years eve i was broken!! and the same again, why me!!! but my husband and family have been great, and helped, i know its so hard but it will get better, and we will all make it soon xxxx Im so sorry once again take care, pm if you need to chat im always here xxxxx

 

[haaza123]

Hey im so sorry for your loss, i too know what your going through. Its hard for you now but it does get easier although there will be days that you will feel sad. I think that its the feeling of emptyness that makes it difficult.

Yor patner maybe finding to hard to express his feelings. I know that men find it really hard as they want to act like they are the strong ones. With my MC's my DH never talked about how he has been feeling. A bit of me thought that he didnt care which used to make me even more upset and low. I was talking to a close friend who told me that the reason he didnt want to talk about it was because he could feel my pain and didnt want to upset me. My friend told me that he has been finding it hard too but feels that he needs to be strong for me.

Give him a bit of time, he's grieving too. I would to open up to him.
Take care
xxx

 

[MrsJD]

I'm sorry for your loss.

XXX

 

[Shazzy]

So Sorry for your loss, As ppl have said time does take the edge of the pain you feel now. I was lucky my DH was there for me all the way. I dont think he grieved the way i did, I think we all tend to show our emotions differently.

Get plenty rest and tlc. And wish you the best for the future.

 

[Orange lady]

I really am sorry for your loss.
I had a similar experience in December. To be so thrilled and then for it to just be taken away is cruel.
As naff as it sounds time really is a great healer.

 

[Scally]

Sorry for your loss, when i had my MMC my boyfriend tried to ignore it alot but eventually broke down. Maybe your man finds it too hard to be around, but i am sure he'll come round in the end. I never thought i'd get over mine, but here i am 3 and half months down the line and pregnant again (fingers crossed for this one)

 

[Kya]

Thanks to all of you for your messages, they really do help. Im working through it, up and down a lot, but I expect that. My fella hasnt surfaced yet, but if its meant to be then he'll show up soon. Good luck with this one Scally, your message really gives me so much hope xx