Mixed emotions at 35yrs old

[workingnurse]

Hi, this is my first time to post a blog. But I had to talk to someone since only my husband and I are the only ones that no Im expecting. I am only 4 weeks prego and I am so confused right now...

We werent really trying but not really preventing either. I have a 10 yr old and a 15 year old.. So basically havent taken care of a newborn in awhile so to speak.

So now that its happening I am so nervous and with mixed emotions of joy and being afraid of the unexpected. My husband feels the same therefore it seems even harder. He usually is my rock. I think because we know how much things are going to change and sometimes change is difficult even when the prize is a great one!

Also my 10 year old has special needs and we will be doing CVS to test for any genetic disorders and that itself brings on a whole other level of stress! But we know that God does not make any mistakes and he will get us through this.

Glad to have somewhere to share my thoughts!

 

[DeeM73]

I know how you feel!I'm pregnant again at 38 and we have a 13 and 12 year old so it's like starting all over!I worry about change also but I'm sure things will just fall into place I have 2 little helpers that can't wait for their little brother or sister!I'm really looking forward to it but so nervous at the same time!xx

 

[Dorian]

Welcome, and congrats!! I know exactly what you mean too. We weren't trying/weren't preventing. I had a mc 5 yrs ago, and after a year or so after wards just figured that was it, no more babies. Here I am, 41 yrs old and starting over.

My children are 17, 13 and 7, so I am starting over pretty much too. Although I'm happy to say my 7yrold still likes to sit with me and snuggle

God will walk you thru it, let Him be your rock.

 

[workingnurse]

Thanks for your encouraging words. I really need them right now. Everything will work out for the good. Keep me posted!

 

[mtnprotracy]

Welcome . I'm Tracy. My husband and I are expecting our 4th child at the end of April. Our boys are 16, 15, and 12---and each of them is about to have a birthday! My situation is very similar. We were sort of sailing along---certainly not trying, but really not thinking we would get pregnant. Our 12 year old is also severely autistic. Once the initial shock wore off, we've allowed ourselves to be excited. Of course, because of our special needs child, I am a nervous wreck at every appointment, every scan. I felt much better after meeting with the genetic counselor.

Again, congratulations. This is a fabulous board with extremely supportive members. I look forward to hearing about your progress .

Tracy

 

[Maple Leaf]

Hello, there are a few of us ladies in similar situations. My DD will be 13 and my DS 10 when this baby is born. Not only did we not expect anymore children but we also moved 1000s of miles from the UK to Canada 4 years ago so have no family support except my DH and children.

It certainly took us some time to get used to the idea. Being pregnant in your 20s for me was carefree, I never even considered the consequences of having a baby at that age, however before even having my first scan this time around I was convinced there would be something wrong. My results have been fantastic, as have many of us lovely older ladies. As I am getting kicked in the ribs and constant Braxton hicks right now, I wouldnt have it any other way.! Lol

This is a great forum, and we can share the worries,highs an lows together, so welcome aboard. X

 

[Torontogal]

Congrats and welcome! I am a first timer so it is totally new to my husband and I - I have no advice to give. But I did want to say welcome and hi! There are a lot of pluses to being over 35 and pregnant.

 

[DeeM73]

It certainly is a great forum everyone is so friendly and helpful,always nice to come on here and have a little blether with lovely ladies xx

 

[zennie]

Congratulations. Wishing you the very best of luck.

I'm 38 and due my 3rd in may. There will be a 10 year gap from our last. Like starting all over again . We're delighted and cant wait. I know it will mean big changes for our family. Peoples reactions can be cruel & rude though, many saying "are you mad going back to all that again" and " wow, what an age gap"!! Have learned to just smile at them and say that we're delighted and thats all that counts.
It'll just take a bit of getting used to, the idea of a newborn in the house again. I'm sure you & your hubby will be a great support to each other.
Please god everything works out just fine for ye.

 

[disneyleanne]

Congratulations on your lovely news!

I think the feelings you have are perfectly normal. I am nearly 35 and we were trying to conceive for 6 months. However when we found out I was expecting I felt panicked and wondered if we had done the right thing. We have two boys who are 11 and 9 so it felt like we were starting over.

Best thing you can do is keep the communication open with your husband. Share how you are both feeling. Sometimes your feelings may make you feel guilty or ungrateful to be expecting a baby but don't be hard on yourself. It took me 4-5 weeks to get my head around it and now everything feels right and I cannot wait!

 

[DeeM73]

You're right about people's reactions Zennie,it's so sad that they come away with comments like that,wish they would just keep them to themselves!It's us that's going through it not them!We've all been through it before and cope just fine x

 

[workingnurse]

Tracy, my daughter to has autism. I totally understand your anxiety. I am so nervous but I trust everything is going to be alright. My daughter is doing great and continues to surprise us everyday. She is going to be a wonderful big sister.

 

[April2012]

hi there. i am 35 and expecting my first baby. i am clueless. truly. i have been living a life all about "me." my focus was on finding a way to justify $200 shoes that match perfectly with the skirt i just bought. i did whatever i wanted...when i wanted (for the most part). now...i am fat, frumpy and clueless as to how i am going to give birth and be a mother. i am petrified! so...i don't have the mindset or experience many of you ladies come to the table with. i wonder daily...."what the H*ll am i doing?" sorry for the rambling...i guess what i am saying...is that you are not along in your fears regardless of your specific set of circumstances.

 

[mtnprotracy]

Tracy, my daughter to has autism. I totally understand your anxiety. I am so nervous but I trust everything is going to be alright. My daughter is doing great and continues to surprise us everyday. She is going to be a wonderful big sister.

I'm so excited your daughter is doing so well! Life with autism is always full of daily surprises . We're hopin Zeke will enjoy being a big brother, too. He seems to understand there's a baby, but I'm sure he doesn't grasp the "permanentness" of it. I do think it important that special needs kids get to be big brothers and big sisters. Lots of times couples are afraid to have more children, so they miss out on that experience.

Wishing you and your family the very best .

Tracy

 

[Dorian]

Welcome to the board April, and congrats! Motherhood is a wonderful, scary, wild, beautiful ride.

 

[workingnurse]

I just wanted to thank everyone that has replied and posted their feelings to my thread. This forum has been very therapeutic. It really helps to know you are not the only one having some of the same feelings. I look forward to everyones update!

 

[workingnurse]

hi there. i am 35 and expecting my first baby. i am clueless. truly. i have been living a life all about "me." my focus was on finding a way to justify $200 shoes that match perfectly with the skirt i just bought. i did whatever i wanted...when i wanted (for the most part). now...i am fat, frumpy and clueless as to how i am going to give birth and be a mother. i am petrified! so...i don't have the mindset or experience many of you ladies come to the table with. i wonder daily...."what the H*ll am i doing?" sorry for the rambling...i guess what i am saying...is that you are not along in your fears regardless of your specific set of circumstances.

You are going to be a wonderful mother. It doesn't matter if it is your first baby or third. Every mother has some worries and it feels like the first time all over again. Your mother instincts will kick in!

 

[April2012]

thank you dorian and workingnurse...
i do feel as though my age has given me some wisdom with this baby. i am scared (and clueless) but i do feel like this baby is right. i have been through some difficult stuff in my life. i am hoping that all that "stuff" makes me a good mom.

 

[workingnurse]

Okay I know I am only 6 weeks but I am still getting use to the idea of being a mom all over again.. I know it is going to take some time to get use to the idea, considering my youngest is already going to be 11 years old next month. I am a L&D nurse so I have a constant reminder of what is yet to come my way! Cant wait til I get used to the concept, so I can actually enjoy my last pregnancy. Not that I dont have moments of enjoyment but I have a hard time with change and things are surely about to change. I feel like I am trying to plan for everything and anticipate every new move. I guess I need to relax and go with the flow...

 

[DeeM73]

I know how you feel,I certainly have days like that but so looking forward to it.I think we worry more the older you get!My mind works overtime at times!!ha ha Always thinking way ahead!I'm sure we will all be fin xx