Moan about OH, when TTC!

[suffolksarah]

HI all.

Just want to moan about the OH for a bit, so be warned!!!

Well me and oH DTD on Monday night becuase we wanted to, then yesterday i got a positive OPK,when i got home my OH said 'i am so tired, ive had such a busy day' (translated as 'no sex tonight')
I said Please as today and tomorrow is the day we need to try. He compleatly flew off the handle at me, saying he doesnt like me demanding sex when hes tired, and he hates the whiole TTC sex.
He said when he is asked to do some thing he refuses as he feels like i am treating him like a child, He compared dtd to doing the washing up, he said hes quite happy to do both but wont do it when hes told!!!
I was so upset, he compared dtd to washing up????? I was really upset, i mean surely he enjoys dtd? I have really tried not to talk about DTD since the MC as i know he doesnt like the pressure.
But surely having sex with his partner 2 nights in a row isnt too much of a chore!!!!
I know i want this so much more than him (he is not overly fussed about kids) He moans at me saying 'sometimes i think children is all you want', but i dont think he understand how powerful our maturnal feelings are.
I have always wanted children, it has always been my goal, i have been looking after other people children as a nanny for the last 12 years, and now i want to look after my own, so, so much!.
i dont think he gets it.
I love him so much and will stay with him if we found out we couldnt have kids, but children have alway been my plan.
He says it will happen when it happens, which may be the case, but it will never hapen if i dont get the timing right.
I was just so so cross and upset, that he wouldnt do it. I don't want to waste anymore time.

Anyway, an hour and a half down the line, argueing, me explaining how i fell, and me feeling selfish for wanted to DTD, me in tears for a while . we finally do it!!! ( i mean we could of done it 4 times over by then!!)
My heart wasnt really in it all i could think about was it being comared to doing the washing up!!!!!!
But hopefully his lil men are swimming the right direction!!!
The battle to DTD starts again tonight. GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR

Rant over!!! xx

 

[HollieQ]

Ooo i know the feeling, I don't mention anything to do with TTC to my dh now, after i lost with him for pulling out, and he went mad back! I don't mention ovulation or anything, I even pretend I'm not using the cbfm still (he didn't like that) but I do! I just hide it!

I wouldn't worry about the washing up comment, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that - men are just crap with words .

 

[hollyw79]

aww I am sorry.. it's A LOT of pressure. My DH was very interested in doing like a 9 day marathon for our IUI in January.. he knew the importance of staying active- but the day I got the + OPK- he like froze in a way. Like once he knew "NOW" is the time- he had a very difficult time- even when he wanted to. I agree with HollieQ~ just don't mention anything to him about TTC~ you're on top of it and as long as one of you are- that BFP *will* happen!!! I know it's sooo frustrating- I really do... but hang in there!!!

 

[grandbleu]

That sounded like us every month. I can totally relate. The best thing to do is not talk about TTC, temping, bodily fluids, symptoms, opks, etc. with him. When the time is right just have some tricks up your sleeve...a romantic dinner at home, massage by candlelight, new lingerie, jump in with him in the shower when he least expects it. The more sex seems impromptu (even though it's part of our plan) the better response you'll get.

Just to give you hope...despite always arguing about TTC and never doing it on O day because of said arguments we still managed a BFP.

 

[nicb26]

I know how you feel! The other day we dtd as soon as we got home from work, and dh said something along the lines of Now we can relax as we have done our chores early!!! He didn't actually mean it as bad as it came out, I think he more meant we can relax without me looking at the clock all night trying to get to bed early lol. I guess it can be a bit off-putting if our dh,s start to think we only want them for their swimmers.

Hope u managed to catch the egg! X

 

[Coltsmommy]

MY dh is the same way when it comes to the "ideal" time to dtd. He is all for it until the time when we NEED it then he's not so much in to it. He told me to not tell him when i'm ovulating to just "be all over him" so thats what I plan to do this month. Come on December baby!!!

 

[msdecember]

ughhh... men!! i'm telling you.. we go through SO much, the least they can do is DTD. geez. we only have a small window of conception and with all of the other obstacles, we definitely don't need them to be one of them. very frustrating. i told my DH the day i got AF this cycle that i need for him to DTD EVERY OTHER DAY for a week (which equates to at least 4 times in one week)... can you do that?? goodness.

 

[cazi77]

This post could have been written by me!! We have had soooo may tears over +ve opk and him not wanting to dtd!!! This month he has been a bit better and really tried. Its the 1st month i am fairly sure i ov'd since m/c in dec so im very excited to be in the TWW!

Rest asured you are not alone!!!!

 

[LiSa2010]

OMG sounds like my hubby and I a few months ago and acutally this past weekend...

I don't tell hubby anything about TTC, he doesn't even know about this site cuz he will get all paranoid and feel like it will be too much pressure and he'll think that I'm all about TTC and nothing else....

what I do is, I seduce him on my fertile days and then a few times during my TWW so he doesn't think anything LOL... for a Man, he's a smart one... LOL. he'll put two and two together...

MEN....sometimes they're worse than children

 

[suffolksarah]

Thanks every one, Its really helped knowing i am not the only one! Last night, i felt bad for putting pressure on him, so i cooked him his favourite food for tea in order to try and creep round him. He only went and ate too much and fell asleep at 9pm saying he was so bloated!!!

My temps went up this morning, so one last attempt this evening. I think he may actually be up for it tonight!!! Although i dont know if its too late or not?

But never mind, next month i am not going to mention anything to do with ttc to him, i will try to keep AF a secret so he cant work it out!!!! Hes cottoning on that two weeks after AF i am all over him.

Anyway good luck and loads of to us all. Oh, and willing men with strong who when told!!!! xx

 

[msdecember]

good luck with tonight, lady! hope you get your BD on!

 

[Duffy]

Hugs I've been down that road it sucks sometimes but at least you got the spermies swimming

 

[HollieQ]

How did it go? hope you got what you wanted!!!

Last night, i felt bad for putting pressure on him, so i cooked him his favourite food for tea in order to try and creep round him. He only went and ate too much and fell asleep at 9pm saying he was so bloated!!!

Eee sorry this made me LOL I've been making smaller portions for exactly this reason, it's happened to me too many times! I'm dreading tonight, he normally orders a 16" pizza, maybe I'll order it for him and let them get the order wrong