Moms expecting #2

[jessieJ24]

Hey ladies. I am currently ttc #2 and I have been thinking about how I would feel about it once I become pregnant. My son is nearly 2 and is very attached to me and is a mamas boy, if you will. I think I would feel so guilty giving my attention to the new baby and I would worry about making him feel less important. How are you feeling in regards to your first child? How do you think they will feel? Thanks in advance

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I am going to try to involve my DD as much as possible since she is my little angel. My husband is an only child and I have a brother and the other day DH said that he feels guilty in sharing attention. But my opinion more is it's dubble the love instead of sharing. We as parents have so much love to give so it's just adding more in the bucket then. Try to involve your son in as much as possible you can. Let them bathe together and when you are feeding let him sit next to you whilst he can page through a book or draw. My daughter is currently going to bed at 7, but slowly wants to change it until 8 so that by the time baby comes baby can go to bed at 7 and I can still cuddle with DD and she will hopefuly sleep later in the morning. Luckily she's been a good sleeper since 3 months.

 

[stouffer]

I do feel the same kind of guilt about it as you described. I also feel bad when I'm snappy with LO because of my hormones/tiredness. I'm less tolerant when she misbehaves.

I think overall she'll benefit from having a sibling. They'll be 2.5 years apart so will be good company for each other as they get older. I have to keep reminding myself that she's much more adaptable than I give her credit for and that I shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure as long as we both make time for her she will adapt to having a new sibling pretty quickly.

 

[Celesse]

When I was pregnant with my second I was almost resentful towards him. He was going to come along and interfere with the mummy-baby relationship I had with me and my daughter. It would no longer be the two of us. And how could I possibly love anyone as much as I loved my first baby??

But of course he came along and I loved him sooo sooo much and we just adapted as a family to being 4 instead of 3. Yeah there's a bit of jealousy and battle for my attention but mostly it works well and they love having each other to play with.

 

[Starry Night]

To me each child is so precious and I would do anything for either. Just because one needs more attention now doesn't mean I love the other less. I think sometimes it is quality vs quantity. However, I have had several losses while TTC#2 so that has helped shaped my perspective a bit. The first time I got my bfp after my son I was very worried I wouldn't love my second child as much and I really liked it being the three of us: dh, ds and myself. I worried another child would ruin that dynamic. It took missing my two angels to make me realize our family is missing that fourth person.

So what you're feeling is completely normal but it will pass.

 

[daynzee]

i felt the same..but this morning i told my nearly 3yr old(turns 3 in jan) that hes going to be a big brother..at first he didnt believe me..obvbiously since he cant see any change but now he keeps bringing it up lol

 

[cait]

I am a bit nervous about how DD will cope but I know she'll adapt quickly. I'll try and involve her as much as possible and will make sure and have regular mummy and ellie time after baby comes. She will have plenty of dedicated dad time too I'm sure.
She loves books so we'll read a lot of books about big sisters in the final few months of pregnancy too!

 

[Harparcat]

I have the same concerns about my little girl who is 2 as she is used to being the centre of attention and having me all to herself. It doesn't help that my partner works away during the week so we're real little buddies and I wonder how she's going to react when someone else comes into our little gang. I think everyone's tips about keeping them involved and trying to keep some time for them sound good. Good luck!

 

[LittleMum]

I feel the same. Ttc number 2 was such a hard decision to make as our family is already perfect. Got BFP yesterday, told my daughter and didn't get any reaction as she's only 2 lol. I have been cuddling her continuously since finding out as feel so bad but she will always be my precious first born and having another child will never lessen my love for her

 

[Sun_Flower]

I came across this amazing poem, which I think sums it up perfectly I'll try and find the author if I can


Loving Two
As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.
I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

 

[Teeny]

I'm trying not to worry too much as my dd will be so much older by the time they arrive so will start preparing her nearer the time.

I know it will be hard but in my childhood memories I treasured my siblings so I just keep reminding myself that I'm giving her an amazing gift x m