"Mother" "Father" "Aunt" "Uncle" etc - Are These Titles Necessary?

[Jess137]

I really don't see any problem with the titles. To me they just confer the way in which we are related to one another. Words are just words until you put a specific meaning on them. I DO have big beef with this thing that you see in American TV and kids calling their Dad 'Sir'!! I also personally don't like any old friend (or even just close friends) of the parents being called Aunt or Uncle. As far as I'm concerned if you're not the sibling of one of the parents (or by marriage/very long term relationship) then you're not an Aunt or an Uncle.

When my second cousin visited from NZ maybe a year ago (she's only little) she asked how we were all related as there was a huge family gathering and I enjoyed explaining all the relationships. You need titles to do that.

I live in the US. My uncle makes his 2 daughters call him sir. I hate it. But it isn't just on TV, some people are like that. As far as the non related people being called aunt and uncle, I don't have too much of a problem with it, as we were raised to call one of my parent's best friends from years ago "Aunt Sally". It's not like there were a ton of people we called aunt and uncle who aren't.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I would be shattered if Eamon refused to call me Mum He doesn't say it much as it is, so I love it when I hear it on the very odd occasion. Not ever hearing it would be awful for me if he decided to call me by my first name. That said I don't think that will be happening, because OH would hit the roof if Eamon ever tried to call him by his first name.

 

[Every Rose]

I keep thinking about this now and the more I do the more I like the fact that we do have these names for the special people in my life.

When I talk about LO to other people I say "my son" and it makes me feel happy and proud every time I say it. He's my son and he's a fantastic little boy. Anyone can call him by his name but there are only two people in the world who can call him "my son" and I'm one of them! I love that.

And the same the other way around. He loves my parents and there is something very special about the way his face lights up when he sees them and shouts "Dadad" and Mam-Mar" at them. And it makes their faces light up too. It just feels so much more special than when he sees friends that he likes and just says their names. And should the worst come to the worst and DH and I ever split up, I wouldn't want him to call someone else "mum" or "dad" because he only has one of each.

I just can't see that for our family using those names is a way of enforcing respect on him. Special names show love to me and show that the people using them are close to each other for all the right reasons.

 

[we can't wait]

When I talk about LO to other people I say "my son" and it makes me feel happy and proud every time I say it. He's my son and he's a fantastic little boy. Anyone can call him by his name but there are only two people in the world who can call him "my son" and I'm one of them! I love that.

I know children can sometimes go through a phase of calling their parents by their names when they are a bit confused as to why others do but its certainly not something I would encourage.
To me parents and children are not equals if we where then the child would not need us to teach, protect, guide, encourage, help, nerture them.
I was always brought up with respect for my parents and elders and calling a parents by mum, dad, mummy or whatever is part of that respect.

Plus mummy is a tittle I have battled very hard to obtain and im not giving it up

These two posts pretty much sum up everything I would want to say It took OH and I two years to conceive out little one-- so Mommy is not a title I'm willing to give up!

About the in-laws, OH only has a relationship with his father. I call his dad by his first name. I've been a member of the family since I was 13-- when OH and I got engaged, Todd insisted I stopped calling him "Mr. B" It took me a WHILE before I got comfortable calling him by his first name-- I would usually just try to avoid using a name at all

x

 

[lynnikins]

Im proud to be Mum and i know my DH loves being Daddy, the titles are a mark of who we are in our childrens lives as their parents and a mark of respect from them to us. we have 7 siblings between us and 2 of my sisters are married so the boys have a few aunts and uncles and their godparents get the Aunt and Uncles titles too as a mark of respect for their position in the boys lives. i tend to refer to my friends as Aunty K or whatever while the boys are so young but we will teach them to use Mr J and Mrs D and Miss L for example for adults when they are old enough to understand, I always called my parents closest friends aunty and uncle as they played more of a role in my life than my real aunts and uncles for the most part and it was a sign of becoming a responsible young adult when they asked to be called by their first names.
I dont want my children to think adults are better or superiour to them but i want them to show respect to them.

 

[happy&healthy]

My daughter likes to say 'my mommy'. Mom and dad show the special relationship we have. If she were to call me by my name, how would that be special? She would call me what everybody else called me. Also as an adult, I would be devestated if my mom didn't want that special title. She's my mom.

Just realized this post is one year old. Oops. Opinion still stands though. =)

 

[JASMAK]

I dont want my children calling me anything but mum or mommy. I think its not really about respect, although I think I would feel a bit disrespected if they called me by my name, but I also think that those names just make us more special...terms of endearement. I am auntie to my nieces and nephew, and I wouldnt want it any other way. We are a family. Our names are special.

 

[smelly07]

I agree, i see nothing wrong with the terms mummy and daddy, my daughters went through a phase of calling their dad by his name and we didnt correct them they sooned went back to using daddy. family are called Aunty ...... or uncle........ on nanny.......... etc etc i dont do the whole friends as aunties and uncles though!

My nephews call me by my name they dont use aunty as thats how they are bought up and thats fine.

i think family is important and i think using these 'labels' as such is a good thing, i dont think it makes you respect anyone any less x

 

[lhancock90]

I don't want my children to call me Mum because it helps discipline, i want them to call me that because it makes me proud. I am Evelyns Mum and i endevour to be the best Mum i can possibly be, much like the one i have.
As for the whole aunt/uncle idea, i don't call my Aunties "aunt" i call them by their first names, as with my uncle, as an adult, as a child i did, however i don't really see how its a problem? I'd rather hear a child refer to family members as that because they are recognizing who is their family? I think its an incredibly personal thing and its lovely, as an auntie to a 2 week old, i can't wait for her to start calling me Auntie!

 

[marley2580]

My kids still call me Marley rather than mum lol.

 

[Yammas]

Ihate calling Oh's parents by their names and especially his nan whos lovely I think it is becasue they are older than me and its what i grew up doing, but on the other hand it can be a shock to the system when you learn that all your relatives arent as infallable as you thought they were although that doesnt mean Id want my children to call me by name.

 

[AirForceWife7]

My daughter calls me mama .. honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way!

It's more of a pride thing for me .. just hearing her say it melts my heart

 

[FlowerFairy]

I call my Parents Mum and Dad and My sons call me Mummy, in fact this weekend my eldest James came home and said he'd decided that at 10 he would call me Mum and his Dad, dad instread of Mummy and Daddy!!
James refers to my OH by his first name, as he's his step dad and Noah calls James' dad "daddy Matt james" Because he gets confused to why James has a different daddy!
I call my inlaws by their first name. I also have real Aunties and Uncles and fake ones and I always refer to the them as Auntie and Uncle and my kids are the same!
As we're from a seperated family there are a lot of grandma's so the kids call my Grandma, who is their Great Grandma, Joanie.
I love the titles, we're a very big extended family group inclusing friends but we're all Auntie and Uncles to each other!
x

 

[freckleonear]

I'm a lot more relaxed about titles than I thought I would be, as I was brought up being told that it was disrespectful to call adults by their first name. My children call me mummy most of the time, but they have sometimes called me by my first name and I haven't tried to discourage that. My husband gets called by his first name more often. We don't usually bother with auntie and uncle for our siblings. Older people who might be offended get addressed correctly. I'm not too fussed either way about titles, but I do think Mummy and Daddy (or whatever equivalent) are nice terms to signify the special relationship between parent and child.

 

[Quackquack99]

I think the title of mum and dad is also a earnt one. For example there are many who have incompetent parents that have done horrific things such as abandon them. Do they deserve the title of mum or dad? I think not.

 

[Hayley90]

I love Harrison calling us mummy and daddy!! and its not for discipline, its because that is what we are.

I call the IL's by their names, as well as my aunts & uncles... when i was smaller they were 'auntie X' 'uncle Z' but as we got older we dropped that.

I HATE non-family members being called auntie/uncle though, i just dont see the point. They arent, just call them their name. It seems pointless to me. x

 

[vaniilla]

I call my parents mum and dad and same for dh, I prefer it that way so we'll try and get lo to do the same, its not about discipline its more about what it means, mum and dad is much more important to us then first name.


I would never use fake titles either, only his actual uncles and aunt are referred to as that.

 

[Yammas]

When I was younger I was taught to cal my godparents uncle and aunty because its easier than saying godfather x and godmother y and imo they are of the same importance.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

I call my parent by there names, and I call my grandma mom. I also call my aunts and uncles by there names.

 

[queenlavera]

I call my Mommy <--- That. I couldn't imagine referring to her by her first name, it just feels wrong. Like a PP said these titles are representative of our special relationships. My friends and associates call me Evelyn, my son is one of the most important and special people to me (and vice versa - I hope!!) why would he be on the same level as an associate?
In-laws - I call my MIL - Mama M***** (our last name) I wouldn't feel comfortable calling her by the first name. I don't see being respectful as a negative.

Also I am in the US and I know in the South that frequently you refer to every elder as Ma'am or Sir and it wasn't because you were beneath them just because they are older and deserve respect.