Mothers pound shop gifts....

[Mum2BKW]

Yesterday I saw my Mum, she's generally excited about my bump and how we only have a few weeks to go etc but always makes some annoying judgemental comments on how I won't need XYZ or I wont do ABC because SHE didn't get on with it (32 years ago.....) but I'm learning to ignore her!

Anyway, she came over at one point with a couple of little presents for baby, which is very sweet. Except that it was a set of mini storage tubs (like tupperware pots the size of a plum) and some scratch mitts. Problem is that the pots are BRIGHT pink (we don't know the sex of our baby yet) and really cheap looking. She was saying that they'll be really useful for holding baby food (personally I think they're about 1/3 of the size of anything that could be deemed useful, and we don't even need things like that for at least another 6 months). The scratch mitts had crap elastic and weren't very soft. I said thanks but was thinking how I really can't see us using these..... and then she said how pleased she was cos she found them in the pound shop! Now I have nothing against pound shops and save quite a bit of money in them (buying things like toiletries, bags of sweets etc), but these were just tat - and tat that we don't even need!

I think I'll just give the stuff to charity.

This is probably a bi snobby but my Mum has LOADS of money - she just spent £14k on a new kitchen, has been on 5 holidays in the last 2 years (places like Egypt and China, all inclusive, at upwards of 2/3k a pop) and really isn't short of cash. I don't understand why she can't buy nice things for baby.

 

[MrsTurner2012]

I feel your pain!

My in laws buy crap & they are well off. Its such a waste. When my family are skint and have bough the majority of things we need for the baby but saved and bought good quality.

Last month was our nieces birthday and her parents (my BIL & SIL) asked for a new coat for her.
She's 2... They bought her 3 coats! THREE! What a waste of money. I said to hubby that I'd have been more pissed off than grateful had they bought them for our LO. She'll not get the wear out of 3 coats so why not have spent the money on something else she needed as BIL & SIL are not well off in the slightest!

BIL & SIL are just as bad though. For Xmas they bought our two school coats. Who buys kids school coats for Xmas.. From woolworths at that. So they must have found them in a clearance shop or something.
Worst bit was my son wears age 13 clothes and hubby's daughter wears age 7 but they bought BOTH coats in age 8-9! WTF.

I'd rather people bought me nothing than bought me crap!

 

[Mum2BKW]

BIL & SIL are just as bad though. For Xmas they bought our two school coats. Who buys kids school coats for Xmas.. From woolworths at that. So they must have found them in a clearance shop or something.
Worst bit was my son wears age 13 clothes and hubby's daughter wears age 7 but they bought BOTH coats in age 8-9! WTF.

I'd rather people bought me nothing than bought me crap!

School coats that don't fit..... brilliant!! Just what they always wanted I'm sure I'd have been so cross, it really sounds like they picked them up in clearance and there was only the one size left!

Do you think I should say something to my Mum so I don't subject myself (and my child) to a lifetime of rubbish presents? It's nice that she thought to get something for baby but, as you said, I'd rather her not get anything than get something rubbish that I won't use but still have to pretend to be grateful for.....

 

[Giggs]

I feel your pain!

My MIL keeps dropping cheap things off for the baby, she leaves the tags on them and then tells me how she got them even cheaper than the price listed, blankets which you know are going to be thrown out after one wash etc.

Whereas my own mum has got all quality stuff from next and debenhams and stocked up on useful things like nappies and wipes!

I'm just going to store the things MIL buys and when baby goes to hers, I'll take the stuff with me and say oh we can leave it here for baby to use when shes here! That way MIL thinks we are using them and wd don't seem ungrateful but I don't have to have them in my house!!!

 

[Aurora_rose]

I have an auntie that does this. It has actually become quite a joke at christmas to see who got the worst present. Kind of like top trumps! One year i was 16 and i had skin coloured tights and anti wrinkle cream. Surprisingly i didnt win that year!

 

[Mum2BKW]

I'm just going to store the things MIL buys and when baby goes to hers, I'll take the stuff with me and say oh we can leave it here for baby to use when shes here! That way MIL thinks we are using them and wd don't seem ungrateful but I don't have to have them in my house!!!

This is a great idea!! Thanks!

 

[Mum2BKW]

I have an auntie that does this. It has actually become quite a joke at christmas to see who got the worst present. Kind of like top trumps! One year i was 16 and i had skin coloured tights and anti wrinkle cream. Surprisingly i didnt win that year!

HA HA!! Oh wow, I have to ask - what won?

 

[Aurora_rose]

My dad had a knitted willy warmer. It was awful it had no tag and it smelt, we later found out she bought it in a charity shop 😕

 

[Mum2BKW]

My dad had a knitted willy warmer. It was awful it had no tag and it smelt, we later found out she bought it in a charity shop 😕

Nooooo!! That's just disgusting!!!

Now I feel that some crap mittens and pots are actually pretty good, lol!

 

[Anderson8]

Tbh at least she's thinking of buying presents.
You will find those wee tubs useful in the future, regardless of colour, if you're planning to make your own food for bubs.
Not me, but I know a lot of people who's parents aren't alive and they would be grateful that their parents are just there for them. It might keep her happy buying these things, in that case then what's the harm

 

[Dragonfly]

I would totally use storage containers no matter what colour.My sons have had pink cups, plates and even clothing. They are containers. I could find use for them I am sure any one could. Even if they sit in your cupboard for a while. My parents dont get anything for my kids at all. I once got a face cloth from the pound shop as a present from my mum while she got my siblings top of the range gear they flounced about in bragging and my kids got nothing. So I get the rage when they have more than enough yet make a statement with cheap stuff or nothing at all.

 

[Mum2BKW]

Tbh at least she's thinking of buying presents.
You will find those wee tubs useful in the future, regardless of colour, if you're planning to make your own food for bubs.
Not me, but I know a lot of people who's parents aren't alive and they would be grateful that their parents are just there for them. It might keep her happy buying these things, in that case then what's the harm

I don't mean to sound ungrateful - I know it's very nice of her to think of baby and buy things, I just wish she would buy nice things! I lost my dad quite suddenly to cancer around 20 months ago so I understand totally how hard it is to not have a parent around, I was so close to my Dad and miss him terribly.

It just bothers me that she might keep buying rubbish that we don't need!

 

[J22]

I have an auntie and uncle whohave plenty of money but bargain shop constantly...not for quality, just for the cheapest price. Pound shops can be great but you have to know what's worth getting from there and what's not. If your mum asks about the scratch mitts just tell her the elastic's gone! x

 

[Dragonfly]

Perhaps tell her in some sort of way or drop hints to things you really need? it dosnt sound like she is being thoughtless she may have just passed something and thought it would be useful to you.

 

[MrsTurner2012]

BIL & SIL are just as bad though. For Xmas they bought our two school coats. Who buys kids school coats for Xmas.. From woolworths at that. So they must have found them in a clearance shop or something.
Worst bit was my son wears age 13 clothes and hubby's daughter wears age 7 but they bought BOTH coats in age 8-9! WTF.

I'd rather people bought me nothing than bought me crap!

School coats that don't fit..... brilliant!! Just what they always wanted I'm sure I'd have been so cross, it really sounds like they picked them up in clearance and there was only the one size left!

Do you think I should say something to my Mum so I don't subject myself (and my child) to a lifetime of rubbish presents? It's nice that she thought to get something for baby but, as you said, I'd rather her not get anything than get something rubbish that I won't use but still have to pretend to be grateful for.....

I just told all my family the truth.

They all said oooo I can't wait to buy him stuff... My nan said he was going to start buying stuff each week & putting it away.

I jut said 'I'd rather you didn't! Just incase it isn't to my taste or I already have a million of what you've bought as I just don't want waste & a house full of atuff that won't get used.'

They were all fine with it and have just given me money or made me write a list of things I need and they have each picked something off it to buy.
We get everything we need then with no excessz

I sound like a spoilt brat but we live in a world off excess and I'd rather not!
I'm staying minimal with this child as I went so OTT with my son and some stuff he didn't wear or we didn't use.
So I'm just trying to be sensible and I explained that to them.

My nan has now offered to buy me a pack of nappies each week once baby is born (but I've changed to cloth so she's buying me some of those instead) instead of buying clothes and stuff like she was going to.

Just tell them to to direct thier money elsewhere.

Thinking about it I've prob offended MIL also. She asked what she should knit for the baby. I told her I didn't like knitted clothes so to not waste her time as I wouldn't dress him in them and that we needed some blankets so maybe to crochet those instead. She's open to just buy some but at least I'm not going to have clothes I won't use!

 

[Clarabell543]

She may think she is being helpful telling you about bargains as things tend to be a little more tight when a baby has arrived and she may think she is introducing you to some bargains you didn't know about. Maybe just wait and see if she buys you more or maybe suggest you need something even if it is a particilar baby wipe or pack of nappies and it would be really helpful if she could buy that? She might feel needed then. I know my mum loves to feel like she is helping

 

[MrsWhy]

My parents in law buy some rubbish for my son but what you could say to your mom is that its great that she is buying you these things but what would be more useful is if she could open a children's account for your baby and put away what she would have spent on the stuff from the pound shops - use the excuse that it's going to be hard enough for baby to afford things in later years and that she can help by doing this

It's what my parents in law are doing now instead of buying redundant presents

Just a thought

 

[Mum2BKW]

My parents in law buy some rubbish for my son but what you could say to your mom is that its great that she is buying you these things but what would be more useful is if she could open a children's account for your baby and put away what she would have spent on the stuff from the pound shops - use the excuse that it's going to be hard enough for baby to afford things in later years and that she can help by doing this

It's what my parents in law are doing now instead of buying redundant presents

Just a thought

This is a nice idea, I'll probably suggest this if she keeps buying rubbish. I think I'll also take all the stuff she buys that we don't want back to her house 'in case baby needs it while we're there' - she's going through a phase of chucking everything out so will hate to have the extra clutter there, I reckon that will stop her more than anything else!

 

[Wriggley]

i dont see the issue with them being pink? my son had a pink cup, has worn pink tops etc.. its just a colour? and those tubs are extremely useful - yes they are small but so is your babies tummy

tbh i wouldnt ever moan about recieving a gift from someone - they only trying to be nice and just because shes got money dont mean everything has to be expesive - storage pots are storage pots? why does it matter what they cost or where they came from

 

[Clarabell543]

The account is a good idea. My fil gives my lo a pound a week for her money box.. it is adding up!