Mums of toddlers and newborns...

[Flower15]

I know its very very early days, I only found out I was pregnant on Tuesday, but as I struggled to breastfeed DD and was disappointed when I stopped, I really would like to experience it again with this baby. Just wondering how managable breastfeeding a newborn is, and still making sure enough time is spent on toddler so she doesnt feel left out. I already feel guilty on her that Il have to split my time, but Id love to give breastfeeding another go. Any tips on how to manage? Im a SAHM but OH works full time, so Im on my own most of the day.

Thanks everyone x

 

[bunnyg82]

Although I haven't got experience yet, I have spoken to my son about it and said about mummy giving baby milkies and that when I'm doing that we can have lots of cuddles and read stories and things which he seemed happy about. Hopefully it will work out like that!

 

[Julesillini8]

Hi. I am also a SAHM now. My daughter was 23 months old when my second baby was born. I nursed my first for a year, and will do the same for my second one. I will say in the beginning it's a bit challenging. The toddler adjusting to new baby, new baby feeding so frequently, and each feeding took like 45 min! My babyis 7 wks old now, nurses every 4 hrs or so, is much more efficient so it now takes about. 20 min... Just remember in the beginning when it's tough, that it will get better and easier. I am not a fan of TV and my toddler watches very little of it. But in the beginning when it's just me and I was nursing the baby around the clock, I did put on Sesame Street or something like that. It's not forever, and sometimes you have to do what you have to do. My toddler is better now about playing when I nurse, or bringing me books to read with her. I bought her special coloring books, sticker books, etc that I saved and bring out for her during my nursing sessions. So it can be done with a newborn and toddler. I won't say it's the easiest thing ever, but it does get easier with time! And the benefits for both you and your baby far outweigh the challenges in the beginning, so best of luck to you!

 

[Flower15]

Julesillini8 - Thankyou for that. Its nice hearing from someone who has been successful, I just wanted to make sure it wouldnt be impossible juggling the two. Il definately try and give it a go. I love the idea about buying her sticker books etc to keep her occupied, il try and stock up during my pregnancy so I am prepared. How easy is it to breastfeed with a sling, so you can play with the eldest why you feed? Thanks again x

Bunnyg82 - Think thats what il try and do, make her still feel involved, all of us cuddle, read books etc. I know it will be hard, but definately worth it x

 

[greenlady]

My daughter was already over three when the second was born, so she's quite good at independent play. But I admit to having the TV on more than I'd like as well - I figure it's such a short amount of time. It's also winter here so it's not always easy to go out and about.

Some people have a 'breast feeding box' with special toys, stickers, games, snacks or whatever in it, and the box only comes out when feeding. (I didn't because my DD is so sharp she would have figured out a way to get it or basically whinged for it in between feeds as well lol).

One thing that really helped me in the early days was my dad came round to take DD1 out for a few hours, a couple times a week. Also having visitors and another child for your toddler to play with - just distractions generally are good.

And of course cuddles and lots of time together while baby is napping. It's totally doable! Sooner or later the feeds become really quick an things get much easier.

All the best for your pregnancy!

 

[Julesillini8]

Green lady, glad I wasn't the only one who needed a little help fm the TV. It wasnt hours or anything, but it was more than what she would normally watch. But it was just the first week or two.... So like I said, sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do!
Flower, I don't nurse I a sling, but that can be done. My little one hates the moby and I don't have another carrier yet. I just sit and nurse where my toddler can come by any visit with us, read books with me etc. we have a toy kitchen so usually I say " baby is eating, can you make food for mommy too?" And I request her to " cook" diff food. It's a learning curve, find what works as you go. The beginning is the hardest when it's so frequent and very time consuming, but as baby grows its definitely easier. I think your little one will be older than mine was when your baby is born. So maybe they will do even more independent play by then too! You will be fine, just hand in there and know things always improve with time!

 

[Julesillini8]

I don't know if you're in the US or not, or if you have this brand by you, but right now I get out sticker books from the brand Melissa and Doug. They make re usable sticker books that she can do different scenes over and over. That keeps her occupied with me for a bit before she wants to climb and get into trouble! Just keep a lookout for this maybe!

 

[justkitty]

I'll have a 19m age gap. Fortunately my dh has 4 weeks off work when baby comes so he can do most of the stuff with ds and keep him to his routine where possible.

Ds also has two little friends and I get on so well with their mums so I know I can ask them to help out sometimes. My main concern is when dh goes back to work.

 

[xsadiex]

It's hard! I'm not going to lie. It's doable but intense. I've felt guilty a lot. I've struggled to meet everyone's needs at times.
We've done lots of reading together and as much one on one time as I can manage. And yes... Quite a bit of tv. It also depends on the personality of the newborn, my baby is hard work.
Good luck and try to be easy on yourself, it's natural to feel guilty. We have great days and awful days lol.

 

[Flower15]

Thanks everyone. There's some really good tips that I'm definitely going to try, going to intend to breastfeed and to just take it one day at a time to see how I'm coping with juggling it all x

 

[greenlady]

Good luck!

 

[special_kala]

The great thing about breastfeeding is that you can do it one handed so there pretty much isnt anything that i cant do whilst BF.

BF 2nd and 3rd time around has been far easier and more successful then first time.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I made the lounge room my haven. Unfortunately, Eamon got to know the TV well while I established BF with Liam, but it was a small price to pay. It can be done!

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I failed at breastfeeding the first time around, so I also wanted to do better this time. There is almost 16 months between my two, and it's hard to keep my toddler happy, especially because she just doesn't really understand, but despite that, we're now almost 7 weeks in and going strong! My biggest challenge at first was feeding the baby and keeping my toddler from grabbing and poking at him, but she does much better at that now. However, she does say stuff like, "All done, baby," and "swing!" when she wants me to go put him in his swing.

 

[hubblybubbly]

We're a week in and I also didn't manage to bf dd1, not going to lie I wouldn't still be bf dd2 if I didn't have help during the day, currently dh and my mum as dd1 is a particularly demanding toddler.....she likes to have someone playing with her at all times or we have a meltdown.

As of two weeks time I lose both dh and mum (dh works abroad and mum lives 200 miles away) I'm hoping by then dd2 is feeding faster and less often and dd1 will be more used to sharing mummy....going to b putting a bowl of snacks and a drink out where dd1 can reach and probably spending a lo of time sitting on the floor bf so I can play! The tv and my iPad may come in handy for distraction too.

If it doesn't work out I'll combi feed..bottles during the day and bf first thing in the morning, evening and overnight...well that's the plan anyway!

And I have no idea how you bf one handed kala...hoping one day I can master this, along with those who can feed in a carrier and while walking!

Good luck
Xx