My 5yo wants to know how baby comes out of my tummy?? what do i say?

[kelzyboo]

My 5 year old daughter asked me earlier today 'how does the baby get out of your tummy?', she asked if i open my mouth really wide and he gets out there

She has ASD and is very intellegent, i told her that we'd talk about it when shes older but she won't tolerate no answer and will ask repeatedly til she gets one!

While i know she is intellegent enough to hear the truth (her IQ's higher than mine ) but i don't think she can comprehend it yet and i worry that she will become scared that a baby will come out of hers, she won't understand the concept and i don't want to kick off another obsession!

Could have posted in special needs but i'm after general advice, she does not need to know the truth yet but i have to say something....any ideas how i can put things nicely whilst being very vague lol
Thanks

 

[Kathleen]

Thats tough! Was trying to find a sex education video online that would cover it but didn't find any. Would being honest but not too graphic work? When my stepdaughter asked questions we panicked a bit and used complicated words that were too old for her to understand.

What about a basic picture of female anatomy? Then say it's only when you're an adult and have a special 'moment' with someone you love that a baby grows inside you.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I dont know. DD1 (4yrs old) asked about Wylder today (the baby we lost) and i was honest. I said sometimes Mommies have babies in their bellies, but they come out too soon. She asked what happens and I said sometimes they get sick or die and she then asked where they go and I told her they grow wings and go to heaven. The sweetest part? She asked if they turn into butterflies and float up to heaven.

I know not related, but its sort of funny how you can have this freak out moment when they ask but usually they turn it into something they can relate to. KWIM?

 

[kelzyboo]

Awww what a beautiful way of looking at it, your daughter is very wise x

I'm going to be honest with her, just with as little technical info as possible as i don't want to confuse her, i do agree that most things that are too complicated they do turn into something they can relate to, like the butterfly which is the sweetest thing i've ever heard btw xx

Thanks for the replies x

 

[evewidow]

my 5 year old asked me too , i couldnt lie to him as he is a clever little so and so . for a few weeks i got away with mommy pushes her out of her tummy . but then after that he asked where she came out of . I just said she comes out of mommys bits and thats why mommy doesnt have a willy ( 2 bases covered there lol ) he just looked at me and said oh right and has never mentioned since.
thankfully he hasnt asked how she got in there in the 1st place !

 

[kelzyboo]

Lol Eve he will hit you with that one when you least expect it!! x

 

[evewidow]

yes you are prob right !

 

[marley2580]

There's a really good book called 'where do I come from' that could help. Infact the library has loads of books like that.

 

[Lyndz]

My mum told me the truth, that babies come out of your tuppence but only get there when a mummy and daddy love each other very much. I don't remember asking again

 

[kelzyboo]

Thanks, will have a look for that book on amazon now lol xx

 

[MrsRabbit]

DS has SPD so I understand the obsession etc. I told him when it's time to have the baby he'd sleep over at a friend's and we'd go to the hospital and the doctor would help get the baby out. Then I switched gears to focus on HIS job as BIG BROTHER which is a very serious and important job. He had to wear his big brother tee shirt and I gave a friend cash to take him shopping for a birthday gift for sissy and he had to sing her happy birthday. He also got to eat her cake as she was too little.

We also got him a baby to practice being a big brother on - bottles, diaper changes, wrapping baby in blanket, baby wearing.

Kept him so busy we skimmed over the baby out of vagina thing.

 

[kelzyboo]

Lol MrsRabbit, thats a good idea to focus on her job rather than mine! Think i may try to get round it that way before i move on to the truth but not the whole truth thing, i like the idea of the big sis t-shirt and birthday cake, have been looking for big sis things but never occured to me about the birthday cake! She'd really like that, thanks xx

 

[rockys-mumma]

My mum told me that babies came out of your belly button

 

[kelzyboo]

Lol i will admit i'd considered telling her that one!!!

 

[x_Nov30_x]

Im quite lucky with this, as i had a c-section the girls have seen the scar and know that a doctor had to cut my tummy to take them out, but i came downstairs one morning and my eldest had baby time on and saw a woman giving birth so they know both ways now, with the whole how did the baby get in there, my OH told them we went to a special shop got baby parts and they were put through my belly button lol

 

[MrsRabbit]

I think it's different when you worry about a child harping about something for months. I used a hammer to put up some curtains when we moved in and he bothered me about it daily for over a year.
I still have to use distraction to skirt around issues I think DS will obsess or worry over. He actually gets anxious about it to the point of panic attack at times. Not worth it. Sometimes we have to give our children only the information they can handle.

 

[kelzyboo]

I agree mrsrabbit, i have to avoid lots of things i know she can't handle! I've spoken to her about me going into hospital to have the baby and explained that a doctor will help baby come out, she hasn't asked me to elaborate yet but i'm sure she will lol not convinced she can handle the truth as to where they really come from but i'm looking at a possible c-section now and fortunately the scar will be easier to explain it and i don't have to go into the full detail, one day yes but when shes ready to hear it xx

 

[xcarlydx]

My 4 yr old son asked me today how the baby will come out my belly and I said that i'll go to sleep and the baby will be there the next morning haha oh dear! Maybe I should have been more truthful? I really feel that my son is still too young and immature to hear it, his little brain couldn't handle it! He looked pale and worried when I told him I had my bloods taken lol

 

[3rdtimelucky]

I too told my daughters' the truth. They are both very inquisitive and wouldnt be happy if I lied to them. When they were very young they thought we went into the hospital and there was loads of babies and we picked them! but as they got older they wanted to know! Last year I let them watch one of those birth programmes on telly with me, and explained that some babies come out of the mam's "front bum" and sometimes women have to have a little operation to help the baby out!
They were both satisfied with that and weren't freaked out at all.
Last week my eldest asked how they get in there in the first place, I have yet to answer her question, Im trying to figure out the best way to explain that to her.. God help me! Oh they are 6 and 9.

P.s.... I was told as a child that I was found under a head of cabbage!! How about that for confusing a child! lol

 

[quin]

Have you thought of scouring youtube to find a video that could be the most appropriate? It doesnt have to be real graphic or anything, but if you find one that is sweet and calming and then try to focus on other parts of it. E.G. How happy mum/dad look. There are many videos on there, some compiled with just photos, and some are not graphic with a full view of where the baby has 'come out of'. Maybe she just needs some assurance about what she can expect you will go through. Many people actually have their children in the labour room with them (not suggesting you do this) and these children seem to cope fine with seeing the lot!