my 8 month old is significantly more difficult when im around?

[loeylo]

I'm feeling quite rubbish about this tbh.

I'm back at work now, so my LO isn't with me during the day on Wednesday -Friday. I do see her for a bit before work and I do evenings with her, plus she's with me the rest of the week. Being without me isn't a recent change, she has done overnights since 6 weeks and she's been frequently with other people during the day. I have been back at work for about 2 months now and its getting worse!

When she's with her dad or anyone else she's happy to play on the floor, sit in her jumperoo or go for naps in her cot. When I'm there, she screams (I'm talking about face going purple screeching here) literally every single second that I'm.not physically holding her. She's fine if we are outside, but in the house she is a nightmare.

She's like that when we are both home too, she just wants me. I have never been the attachment parenting type, but I also don't agree with cry it out. I find myself getting really frustrated a lot.


Please tell me I'm not the only one!

 

[Twag]

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time going back to work is hard enough (I went back when DD was 6 months old 5 days a week)

I believe they go through a separation anxiety time around this time so it could just be coincidence - my DD is also clingy to me when I am there and I know it is because she isn't with me the rest of the time and so needs me - my DS is also a bit more clingy and plays up a lot more when I am around this can be very frustrating

I do attachment parenting (i think) so I don't mind too much and I try to soothe them as they need

I hope it passes for you soon

 

[Aliop]

All four of my children have been like this. Seemingly very happy and relaxed, able to play happily around basically on their own when just my DH is home (I am a sahm & no family nearby to look after them so it's just us pretty much) but for me my 8 month old whines and whinges unless I am carrying him or on the floor beside him while he plays?! I chose to believe it's because they love me best of all they can't bear to be parted lol it doesn't last forever so I just go with it pretty much. It is frustrating though!

 

[loeylo]

I'm glad to hear its normal!

I feel bad to think it might be because she misses me, but she is fine waving me off to work, she's fine as long as I'm not in the house, but whenever I'm in the house she cries if I even go for a pee. I am off work for the next 6 weeks (holidays) but I have loads of work to do at home (as in, work for my work and not housework) - I tried it with her on my knee but she just hits the keyboard! I had dreams of spending my holiday doing some work in the morning then going out with her every afternoon, but it takes me so long to do my work I don't have time!

Her dad is happy to take her when he is home from work, but as its so late it would throw off her routine if he took her away, and when she is home she just wants me. She doesn't go down until 10pm (and she doesn't nap much either!) so I cant do work at night!

Oh, and she wont go down for a nap for me unless its on me. She naps just fine for daddy.

It isn't a preference thing because she definitely is a daddy's girl.

 

[Jessicahide]

Just sounds like she misses you and when you are there she wants as much physical contact with you as possible...

 

[noon_child]

Maybe she is used to the routine of when you work etc. so she waves you off because she is used to you coming back, but when you leave to pee during a "stay at home" day she freaks out wondering if you will be gone for a whole day, whether she is going to be left alone with no one else to look after her. It is very common at that age to get this type of separation anxiety. My mother in law came to stay with us for 4 weeks when LO was 9months and it was bliss because I could finally cook a meal without running backwards and forwards every two minutes to reassure my LO that I was still around. I also started to deliberately increase the amount I explained things to her (and made sure she was listening by giving eye contact) so if I need to go for a wee I would say "I'm going to the toilet to do a wee wee. I am coming back very soon. I'm not leaving you alone, I'm just in another room OK?". At first she was still upset because what does "soon" mean to a baby, but after a while she started to get an idea of what soon meant because I'd always come back after a few minutes. Then her anxiety lessened when I said I'd be back soon. She knew what soon meant and believed I would be back.