stickylizard
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WARNING: THIS BIRTH STORY IS HUGELY LONG AND DETAILED!
Hi all!
It's taken me a long ole while to get round to writing my birth story, adjusting to life with 3 under 3 is a tad overwhelming! But better late than never :]
I had been having stronger BH contractions and some quite painful ones from about 38 and a half weeks, but I knew to ignore them! I quite expected to go overdue by 4 days as both my other children were born at 40+4.
I had an appt booked for 38+6 with my midwife and was going to book another while I was there - I was all prepared and ready to plead for one at 40 weeks for a sweep rather than having to wait til 41 weeks which was what she said she wanted to do! The morning of the appt I noticed that baby had not been moving much the day before, usually he was pretty quiet in the day because I was always busy but he had been quiet the previous evening too. I rung the Day Assessment Centre who called me in for monitoring. I was there long enough that I had to call my GP surgery and cancel my appt that morning... But I couldn't get one for 40 weeks, I was offered either 39+4 or closer to 41 weeks, well you can guess which one I picked!
The midwife looking after me whilst I was on the monitor was lovely though, I explained that I had not been getting much sleep because of being so uncomfortable and having all the false contractions and she very kindly got a doctor to write in my notes that I could have a sweep at 39+4!
I was well happy! The monitor showed some movements which was reassuring, though I did point out that usually he was a very very active baby indeed, so this was still reduced movements. They sent me home and said to come back if it continued.
He was still fidgety enough that I didn't worry too much, I went to my appt at 39+4 and the midwife was a senior and so lovely she didn't even question giving me a sweep, as I'd had 2 babies and one episode of reduced movements. She said "I'll try not to hurt you too much, but I do want it to be effective for you!" It wasn't too bad, just a little blood afterwards. She said my cervix was just 1cm and still quite long and thick, but that she could feel my waters bulging.
I felt a bit achy afterwards, she said if it was successful it'd work within 48hrs...
48hrs later was lunch time the day before my due date and nothing had happened so I thought oh well... OH's cousin was visiting from Yorkshire so he popped in to visit and once he had gone I started hanging washing on the clothes horse to dry and OH did the kids dinner and took them for a bath. I went to the loo and had loads of brown mucus plug/show which didn't excite me much as I lost loads of clear plug for about a week before I had my other son. But then I started to have some painful contractions which were about 10-15 mins apart. I just stood still and leaned on the clothes horse during and then carried on. Came upstairs and started listing some of the kids winter clothes from last year on eBay and they continued, every 10 mins ish. OH started to get antsy, he was asking me if I wanted dinner but I was so not hungry. I said "wait til the contractions stop, you know I never have an appetite when they're playing me up"!
About 9.30 we started timing them properly because they had been quite persistent. By 10.30 they were every 5-6 mins lasting around a minute, but still not extremely painful. I was reluctant to call the delivery suite until I was certain it was labour because that would mean I had committed to it; we'd have to call my mum or dad over to babysit, and we'd have to let the One Born Every Minute crew know, as they were filming us, and I knew I'd feel a total fool if I got sent home or the contractions fizzled out on the way there!
So I was leaning over my ball on my knees and I could tell when a contraction was brewing as when I was rocking back and forth I could feel baby's head bashing on my spine, which was not pleasant and not something I had felt before! I was at the stage where in between contractions I was putting OH off calling, saying "no no they're not so bad, look see they've stopped, it's been 6 minutes now and-oh no not again OW" then during the contraction he'd be going PLEASE can we call now? And I'd be like "oooooh owwww... maybe..."
This went on for 45 minutes til I finally gave in and let him call the delivery suite, then the OBEM team, then I texted my mum and my dad, my dad set out to come over (from the pub! But had only had 1 1/2 drinks) because my mum's car is broken and arranging to get here would have taken a long while. I hobbled down the stairs and panicked at the bottom because I had to have a contraction gripping on to OH and nearly pushing him over because the ball was upstairs! He helped me get my shoes on, picked up the bags, I was clutching at my bug (he's a grey woodlouse pyjama case but I'm extremely attached to him cus he's super soft and floppy and cuddly
) and I managed to get into the passenger seat, well leaning over the back of it.
We arrived and a contraction hit just as the producers of OBEM came to greet us in the car park and put microphones on us. I remember he said "Hi I'm so-and-so from the team" and I said "I don't give a shit". Oops
It was just gone midnight and we were led into the Birthing Suite and oh my days what a lush room to labour in! Soft-play type mats on the floor with sheets over them, big cushions, a BALL which I was proper excited about, and through the door to the ensuite I could see a pool... Jugs of water, soft lighting, big breezy fan... Gas and air attached to the wall which caught my eye!
The first thing the midwife wanted to do was check baby's heart rate and feel my belly, she said his heart rate was too fast at 180bpm and this meant that we had to move to a delivery suite room and leave the nice birthing suite behind as "Only the most normal perfect of circumstances allow you to be in here!". The room we moved to was nice enough once they'd put some mats on the floor for me, I kept saying "Can I have the ball again now?" because she wanted me on the bed attached to the monitor, and though the leads are long, in the position I wanted to be in over the ball, the heart rate thingy kept losing contact! She gave OH a jug of water and a cup so he was in charge of keeping my fluid intake up to try and get baby's heartrate down. I was in a fair bit of pain, mashing my face into my bug with each contraction, still every 5 mins. She said she didn't think I was in established labour because from the trace she could see that some contractions were weaker than others. I refused to let her examine me because I wanted to wait as long as possible in the hope that when she did I'd be 7cm or whatever. HA wishful thinking, it happened with my son's home birth when I was first examined at 8-9cm, could never happen twice!
The contractions were really painful for suspected not in established labour, so I was confused and upset because I was not allowed gas and air until they were sure I was at least 4cm! The midwife brought me some codeine and soluble paracetamol and there was about half an hour of me feeling like a total dick having OH and the midwife try to explain to me HOW to take these "really tiny" pills, and me trying to explain that I wasn't stubborn, I just physically CAN'T take pills when I can feel them on my tongue, I have to immerse them in yoghurt so I can't feel them. I felt like SUCH a child
Eventually I gave in and let her examine me, at around 1.30am and I was devastated to hear I was only 2cm, she said "as I'm here shall I give you a sweep, see if we can move things along?" I agreed and my goodness that's the 4th sweep I've ever had and it bloody hurt!
She said I needed to keep drinking to keep baby's heart rate down (it had now settled back within the normal range) and left us to it for a bit. The camera man and lady also left and that's when I started crying like a little girl because I didn't understand why on earth I was in so much pain at 2cm, I was sobbing and saying "how am I ever gonna get to 10cm, I'm such a massive wuss and I was so good with Toby, and why did I let her sweep me because now the contractions are worse and closer, make it stop so we can go home"... you get the idea! I hobbled to the ensuite with OH to do a wee in one of those huge cardboard pans that sits under the normal seat, and noticed I looked like a total panda, still crying I was trying to wipe the mascara off my face, hobbled back into the room when my microphone fell off and I was like "huh?" I thought the OBEM people had got bored and buggered off - actually they'd left our mics on and the cameras rolling so my whole pansy crying debacle was caught on film!
At this point the midwife returned with toast and tea, advising me to eat and drink so I had energy, followed shortly by the changeover of OBEM team who I think I pretty much blanked. I spied the plastic jam portion pots on the toast tray and proceeded to stab the codeine tablets into the jam and proudly swallow them down. "Told you all I needed was something to take them in!" I was now shaking all over like a leaf and still upset, the midwife had me lie back on the bed and told me my body was filled with adrenalin trying to nudge me into labour, she felt baby and said well he's all limbs up front so he's back to back, that's why it's hurting you a lot more. At least then I had a reason! It was 2.45am and she examined me and I was just 3cm and in total despair! She said usually at that stage of labour they send ladies home, but when they're not coping with early labour like me, they give the option of pethidine which can make you relax enough for labour to progress as the stress and panic can slow things down. I was reluctant to accept because I had pethidine with my daughter and was given it quite late at 6cm and barely remember giving birth to her, just feeling really stoned! But after some deliberation and a few contractions to push me in the right direction I accepted. So in went the jab and I remember thinking, how many more contractions will I have to endure before it starts to work?!
OH settled on the mats/makeshift bed on the floor and held my hand, I arranged the pillows and my bug to the desired level of comfiness and went all woozy talking rubbish about how the cameras on the wall looked like those helmet things that old ladies sit under for a perm, and how OH wasn't to turn over or let go of my hand until I was asleep!
Next thing I know I'm starting to wake up at the peak of my contractions, doing my breathing exercises and reaching out pathetically over the side of the bed for OH (who carried on sleeping through the first few), then drifting off again. Eventually they were so strong I couldn't drift back off to sleep and OH woke up, I gave him this panicked "OMG I think I'm dying" look, he hit the call button and the midwife came in to examine me, but not before she told me I was "looking more convincing now" and GAVE ME THE GAS AND AIR. FINALLY!
It was 5.20am and I was pleasantly relieved to find that the pethidine had not left me too fuzzy and started knocking back the gas and air as the midwife examined me. "That's a bit more like it, pick a number" she said. "4?" I said. "6?" said OH. "Nope, you're about a 7-8". Best news I'd heard all night! She then said I needed to start thinking about where in the room I wanted to have my baby and what position. My ideas of another water birth disappeared from my head as I found I was pretty much marooned on the bed, unable to even sit up as it felt like I was sitting on baby's head!
Oddly, even at almost fully dilated, time seemed to pass quite quickly and I was dealing with the pain a lot better with the gas than I was at 2cm with nothing! My contractions started to change, instead of building up and back down, they were building up then the pain was turning into... well not pain as such but really intense warm sensations and lots of pressure, then drifting away. I couldn't help but start to feel like I needed to push, and the midwife was busy jotting down every single thing as it was happening in my notes! (I know, I've read them!) The pushing urges took over and it was actually quite a relief to have something to DO with a contraction besides just breathe and bear it.
I remember I kept saying "are you sure my waters haven't gone, it's wet" and the midwife saying "yep you're just weeing all over the bed, let me change your mat..." I was mortified, apologising for it because it was gross and I was using so many mats - and I became vaguely aware that there was a man behind a camera at the end of the bed, aimed right at my hoohah! Each contraction ended with my body involuntarily pushing and me exclaiming that I was SURE my waters were trickling, but no, I just kept on peeing all over the place... And then a little poo as well, how delightful
The midwife stuck a Doppler on me between each contraction and told me baby's heartrate was dipping to 80bpm and he was ready to come out now. I assured her I was trying and with the next contraction I beared down and pop, literally I heard my waters explode, drenching her from the waist down and almost hitting the camera man! I felt my baby's head start to move down and I shut my eyes and pushed pushed pushed, I pushed really long and hard and well, to try and get him out and safe. I felt that ring of fire and screamed for the first time as I carried on pushing through the pain. "A little push now for his nose... And another for his chin..." He had turned around from his back to back position just in time to be born. With the next contraction I felt the midwife wiggle him and I screamed as his shoulders popped out and the rest of him came out with ease, I'll never forget that feeling from any of my births!
And so we welcomed to the world our third child, Caspian Atticus (Casper for short) at 6.16am on his due date, 30th August 2013
The midwife brought him up onto my chest and rubbed him with a towel and he cried and I was so relieved it was over!! He was put up by my chest for skin to skin and we were both covered in towels and blankets. OH brought over his little hat and I looked at him and his big bright eyes, sucking on the back of his hand and thinking he was absolutely gorgeous and looked just like my other son!
Everything from then happened really quickly, as Casper latched onto the breast like a pro, I suddenly noticed and announced to the room that I was bloody starving! I had the injection for the placenta, which came out in one push, and as the midwife examined it the outer membrane tore and she said "it was just starting to wither" - that would probably explain the reduced movements! After a check inside to see if I needed stitches (ouch! And I didn't yay) and a finger up the bum to check for tears (also ouch and none yay) my bits were left in peace and in came a very welcome tray of tea and toast! After having him weighed - a good sized 7lb 11.5oz, the biggest of my three (though there's only 3oz between them all) OH took Casper and had a cuddle and dressed him in his first outfit whilst I tucked into all 4 pieces of toast (and sod OH who was the rightful owner of 2 of those pieces) and a cuppa!
Casper left my boobs alone and went to Daddy long enough for me to have a well earned shower - I came very prepared this time unlike my other hospital birth, so I properly removed my make up, washed and conditioned my hair, washed and mosturised my body and face, and brushed my teeth, got into comfy joggers and a vest top and felt sooooo much better!
We went to the early discharge ward as Casper was feeding well and I had no stitches and no problems, where we opened up the exciting snack part of the hospital bag and munched our way through cereal bars, sesame snaps, caramel biscuit wafers, snackajacks and cartons of juice! It was too loud and busy on the ward to really get any sleep, and all at once the Bounty lady arrived with a pack for me, the OBEM lady who had done our pre labour home interview came in to say congratulations, and a lovely surprise was that the midwife who delivered my daughter in April 2011 happened to be working and came in all excited to see us and hear about the birth and cuddle the baby!
We came home just as my dad was putting the kids to bed (or trying to!) and introduced them to their new baby brother - in hindsight this was a mistake and we should have waited til morning because they were both then too excited to sleep!
Casper is now 8 days old, will be 9 days old in just 6 hours, and time is whooshing by. He is so utterly perfect and easy (so far), sleeps for long stretches, has already SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT from midnight to 7am - and he's breastfed! He rarely really cries unless he is having a cold wipe rudely shoved onto his bits! My daughter adores him, she thinks he's hers
she has barely blinked in the direction of her "baby" the Cookie Monster, and prefers to bring Casper muslins and mittens and toys he can't play with, and she gives him loads of kisses and refuses to go to bed unless she has said goodnight to him. Nap time is a struggle because if he's up she doesn't want to leave him! My other son is not sure what to make of him, though he is slowly coming round and has started to stroke him on the head (rather roughly as he is a boy after all!) I am making a fuss of him when I am not feeding Casper, but he has had a few jealous moments and even tried his luck trying to get some booby time - I'd have thought he's have forgotten by now as I stopped feeding him 4 months ago, but apparently not!
Don't get me wrong, I love all my babies, but my hormones are mental with this one! I am just so so in love with him, I am crying over the slightest thing, every time I look at him I well up. I can't stand the idea that he's already almost 9 days old and find myself actually jealous of those a week overdue who get to do the newborn first week whereas mine's already over! Baby blues/post partum hormones have properly attacked me this time around. Not to scare anyone, I know it's entirely irrational and will pass, but I just want him to stay tiny and always be my baby! In no time he will be the size of my other two and that makes me cry as well! He ran out of sleepsuits today and I had to go get the dry laundry from the conservatory because I couldn't bear to put him in a 0-3 one as opposed to a newborn one! Sigh... I know it'll pass... But ladies, enjoy every single second you can with your baby. I know we all get sick of hearing that from rude old ladies when we are pregnant, but I'm saying it anyway, as a mum of 3 under 2 1/2 I can say that they grow up far far too quickly. I wish I could freeze time with him cuddled in my arms!
I will leave you with some photos of my gorgeous baby (FINALLY I have one that looks just like me!) and our lovely family.
Thank you all for the laughs and the support and I wish you all inspiring labours and healthy pink babies.
See you in Baby Club!
Vikki, Jack, Ella, Toby & Casper
xxxxx
Pic 1 - Moments after giving birth
Pic 2 - 20 minutes old
Pic 3 - With Daddy
Pic 4 - Wide awake in the car!
Pic 5 - My boys
Hi all!
It's taken me a long ole while to get round to writing my birth story, adjusting to life with 3 under 3 is a tad overwhelming! But better late than never :]
I had been having stronger BH contractions and some quite painful ones from about 38 and a half weeks, but I knew to ignore them! I quite expected to go overdue by 4 days as both my other children were born at 40+4.
I had an appt booked for 38+6 with my midwife and was going to book another while I was there - I was all prepared and ready to plead for one at 40 weeks for a sweep rather than having to wait til 41 weeks which was what she said she wanted to do! The morning of the appt I noticed that baby had not been moving much the day before, usually he was pretty quiet in the day because I was always busy but he had been quiet the previous evening too. I rung the Day Assessment Centre who called me in for monitoring. I was there long enough that I had to call my GP surgery and cancel my appt that morning... But I couldn't get one for 40 weeks, I was offered either 39+4 or closer to 41 weeks, well you can guess which one I picked!
The midwife looking after me whilst I was on the monitor was lovely though, I explained that I had not been getting much sleep because of being so uncomfortable and having all the false contractions and she very kindly got a doctor to write in my notes that I could have a sweep at 39+4!
I was well happy! The monitor showed some movements which was reassuring, though I did point out that usually he was a very very active baby indeed, so this was still reduced movements. They sent me home and said to come back if it continued.He was still fidgety enough that I didn't worry too much, I went to my appt at 39+4 and the midwife was a senior and so lovely she didn't even question giving me a sweep, as I'd had 2 babies and one episode of reduced movements. She said "I'll try not to hurt you too much, but I do want it to be effective for you!" It wasn't too bad, just a little blood afterwards. She said my cervix was just 1cm and still quite long and thick, but that she could feel my waters bulging.
I felt a bit achy afterwards, she said if it was successful it'd work within 48hrs...
48hrs later was lunch time the day before my due date and nothing had happened so I thought oh well... OH's cousin was visiting from Yorkshire so he popped in to visit and once he had gone I started hanging washing on the clothes horse to dry and OH did the kids dinner and took them for a bath. I went to the loo and had loads of brown mucus plug/show which didn't excite me much as I lost loads of clear plug for about a week before I had my other son. But then I started to have some painful contractions which were about 10-15 mins apart. I just stood still and leaned on the clothes horse during and then carried on. Came upstairs and started listing some of the kids winter clothes from last year on eBay and they continued, every 10 mins ish. OH started to get antsy, he was asking me if I wanted dinner but I was so not hungry. I said "wait til the contractions stop, you know I never have an appetite when they're playing me up"!
About 9.30 we started timing them properly because they had been quite persistent. By 10.30 they were every 5-6 mins lasting around a minute, but still not extremely painful. I was reluctant to call the delivery suite until I was certain it was labour because that would mean I had committed to it; we'd have to call my mum or dad over to babysit, and we'd have to let the One Born Every Minute crew know, as they were filming us, and I knew I'd feel a total fool if I got sent home or the contractions fizzled out on the way there!
So I was leaning over my ball on my knees and I could tell when a contraction was brewing as when I was rocking back and forth I could feel baby's head bashing on my spine, which was not pleasant and not something I had felt before! I was at the stage where in between contractions I was putting OH off calling, saying "no no they're not so bad, look see they've stopped, it's been 6 minutes now and-oh no not again OW" then during the contraction he'd be going PLEASE can we call now? And I'd be like "oooooh owwww... maybe..."
This went on for 45 minutes til I finally gave in and let him call the delivery suite, then the OBEM team, then I texted my mum and my dad, my dad set out to come over (from the pub! But had only had 1 1/2 drinks) because my mum's car is broken and arranging to get here would have taken a long while. I hobbled down the stairs and panicked at the bottom because I had to have a contraction gripping on to OH and nearly pushing him over because the ball was upstairs! He helped me get my shoes on, picked up the bags, I was clutching at my bug (he's a grey woodlouse pyjama case but I'm extremely attached to him cus he's super soft and floppy and cuddly
) and I managed to get into the passenger seat, well leaning over the back of it.We arrived and a contraction hit just as the producers of OBEM came to greet us in the car park and put microphones on us. I remember he said "Hi I'm so-and-so from the team" and I said "I don't give a shit". Oops
It was just gone midnight and we were led into the Birthing Suite and oh my days what a lush room to labour in! Soft-play type mats on the floor with sheets over them, big cushions, a BALL which I was proper excited about, and through the door to the ensuite I could see a pool... Jugs of water, soft lighting, big breezy fan... Gas and air attached to the wall which caught my eye!
The first thing the midwife wanted to do was check baby's heart rate and feel my belly, she said his heart rate was too fast at 180bpm and this meant that we had to move to a delivery suite room and leave the nice birthing suite behind as "Only the most normal perfect of circumstances allow you to be in here!". The room we moved to was nice enough once they'd put some mats on the floor for me, I kept saying "Can I have the ball again now?" because she wanted me on the bed attached to the monitor, and though the leads are long, in the position I wanted to be in over the ball, the heart rate thingy kept losing contact! She gave OH a jug of water and a cup so he was in charge of keeping my fluid intake up to try and get baby's heartrate down. I was in a fair bit of pain, mashing my face into my bug with each contraction, still every 5 mins. She said she didn't think I was in established labour because from the trace she could see that some contractions were weaker than others. I refused to let her examine me because I wanted to wait as long as possible in the hope that when she did I'd be 7cm or whatever. HA wishful thinking, it happened with my son's home birth when I was first examined at 8-9cm, could never happen twice!
The contractions were really painful for suspected not in established labour, so I was confused and upset because I was not allowed gas and air until they were sure I was at least 4cm! The midwife brought me some codeine and soluble paracetamol and there was about half an hour of me feeling like a total dick having OH and the midwife try to explain to me HOW to take these "really tiny" pills, and me trying to explain that I wasn't stubborn, I just physically CAN'T take pills when I can feel them on my tongue, I have to immerse them in yoghurt so I can't feel them. I felt like SUCH a child
Eventually I gave in and let her examine me, at around 1.30am and I was devastated to hear I was only 2cm, she said "as I'm here shall I give you a sweep, see if we can move things along?" I agreed and my goodness that's the 4th sweep I've ever had and it bloody hurt!
She said I needed to keep drinking to keep baby's heart rate down (it had now settled back within the normal range) and left us to it for a bit. The camera man and lady also left and that's when I started crying like a little girl because I didn't understand why on earth I was in so much pain at 2cm, I was sobbing and saying "how am I ever gonna get to 10cm, I'm such a massive wuss and I was so good with Toby, and why did I let her sweep me because now the contractions are worse and closer, make it stop so we can go home"... you get the idea! I hobbled to the ensuite with OH to do a wee in one of those huge cardboard pans that sits under the normal seat, and noticed I looked like a total panda, still crying I was trying to wipe the mascara off my face, hobbled back into the room when my microphone fell off and I was like "huh?" I thought the OBEM people had got bored and buggered off - actually they'd left our mics on and the cameras rolling so my whole pansy crying debacle was caught on film!
At this point the midwife returned with toast and tea, advising me to eat and drink so I had energy, followed shortly by the changeover of OBEM team who I think I pretty much blanked. I spied the plastic jam portion pots on the toast tray and proceeded to stab the codeine tablets into the jam and proudly swallow them down. "Told you all I needed was something to take them in!" I was now shaking all over like a leaf and still upset, the midwife had me lie back on the bed and told me my body was filled with adrenalin trying to nudge me into labour, she felt baby and said well he's all limbs up front so he's back to back, that's why it's hurting you a lot more. At least then I had a reason! It was 2.45am and she examined me and I was just 3cm and in total despair! She said usually at that stage of labour they send ladies home, but when they're not coping with early labour like me, they give the option of pethidine which can make you relax enough for labour to progress as the stress and panic can slow things down. I was reluctant to accept because I had pethidine with my daughter and was given it quite late at 6cm and barely remember giving birth to her, just feeling really stoned! But after some deliberation and a few contractions to push me in the right direction I accepted. So in went the jab and I remember thinking, how many more contractions will I have to endure before it starts to work?!
OH settled on the mats/makeshift bed on the floor and held my hand, I arranged the pillows and my bug to the desired level of comfiness and went all woozy talking rubbish about how the cameras on the wall looked like those helmet things that old ladies sit under for a perm, and how OH wasn't to turn over or let go of my hand until I was asleep!
Next thing I know I'm starting to wake up at the peak of my contractions, doing my breathing exercises and reaching out pathetically over the side of the bed for OH (who carried on sleeping through the first few), then drifting off again. Eventually they were so strong I couldn't drift back off to sleep and OH woke up, I gave him this panicked "OMG I think I'm dying" look, he hit the call button and the midwife came in to examine me, but not before she told me I was "looking more convincing now" and GAVE ME THE GAS AND AIR. FINALLY!
It was 5.20am and I was pleasantly relieved to find that the pethidine had not left me too fuzzy and started knocking back the gas and air as the midwife examined me. "That's a bit more like it, pick a number" she said. "4?" I said. "6?" said OH. "Nope, you're about a 7-8". Best news I'd heard all night! She then said I needed to start thinking about where in the room I wanted to have my baby and what position. My ideas of another water birth disappeared from my head as I found I was pretty much marooned on the bed, unable to even sit up as it felt like I was sitting on baby's head!
Oddly, even at almost fully dilated, time seemed to pass quite quickly and I was dealing with the pain a lot better with the gas than I was at 2cm with nothing! My contractions started to change, instead of building up and back down, they were building up then the pain was turning into... well not pain as such but really intense warm sensations and lots of pressure, then drifting away. I couldn't help but start to feel like I needed to push, and the midwife was busy jotting down every single thing as it was happening in my notes! (I know, I've read them!) The pushing urges took over and it was actually quite a relief to have something to DO with a contraction besides just breathe and bear it.
I remember I kept saying "are you sure my waters haven't gone, it's wet" and the midwife saying "yep you're just weeing all over the bed, let me change your mat..." I was mortified, apologising for it because it was gross and I was using so many mats - and I became vaguely aware that there was a man behind a camera at the end of the bed, aimed right at my hoohah! Each contraction ended with my body involuntarily pushing and me exclaiming that I was SURE my waters were trickling, but no, I just kept on peeing all over the place... And then a little poo as well, how delightful
The midwife stuck a Doppler on me between each contraction and told me baby's heartrate was dipping to 80bpm and he was ready to come out now. I assured her I was trying and with the next contraction I beared down and pop, literally I heard my waters explode, drenching her from the waist down and almost hitting the camera man! I felt my baby's head start to move down and I shut my eyes and pushed pushed pushed, I pushed really long and hard and well, to try and get him out and safe. I felt that ring of fire and screamed for the first time as I carried on pushing through the pain. "A little push now for his nose... And another for his chin..." He had turned around from his back to back position just in time to be born. With the next contraction I felt the midwife wiggle him and I screamed as his shoulders popped out and the rest of him came out with ease, I'll never forget that feeling from any of my births!
And so we welcomed to the world our third child, Caspian Atticus (Casper for short) at 6.16am on his due date, 30th August 2013
The midwife brought him up onto my chest and rubbed him with a towel and he cried and I was so relieved it was over!! He was put up by my chest for skin to skin and we were both covered in towels and blankets. OH brought over his little hat and I looked at him and his big bright eyes, sucking on the back of his hand and thinking he was absolutely gorgeous and looked just like my other son!Everything from then happened really quickly, as Casper latched onto the breast like a pro, I suddenly noticed and announced to the room that I was bloody starving! I had the injection for the placenta, which came out in one push, and as the midwife examined it the outer membrane tore and she said "it was just starting to wither" - that would probably explain the reduced movements! After a check inside to see if I needed stitches (ouch! And I didn't yay) and a finger up the bum to check for tears (also ouch and none yay) my bits were left in peace and in came a very welcome tray of tea and toast! After having him weighed - a good sized 7lb 11.5oz, the biggest of my three (though there's only 3oz between them all) OH took Casper and had a cuddle and dressed him in his first outfit whilst I tucked into all 4 pieces of toast (and sod OH who was the rightful owner of 2 of those pieces) and a cuppa!
Casper left my boobs alone and went to Daddy long enough for me to have a well earned shower - I came very prepared this time unlike my other hospital birth, so I properly removed my make up, washed and conditioned my hair, washed and mosturised my body and face, and brushed my teeth, got into comfy joggers and a vest top and felt sooooo much better!
We went to the early discharge ward as Casper was feeding well and I had no stitches and no problems, where we opened up the exciting snack part of the hospital bag and munched our way through cereal bars, sesame snaps, caramel biscuit wafers, snackajacks and cartons of juice! It was too loud and busy on the ward to really get any sleep, and all at once the Bounty lady arrived with a pack for me, the OBEM lady who had done our pre labour home interview came in to say congratulations, and a lovely surprise was that the midwife who delivered my daughter in April 2011 happened to be working and came in all excited to see us and hear about the birth and cuddle the baby!
We came home just as my dad was putting the kids to bed (or trying to!) and introduced them to their new baby brother - in hindsight this was a mistake and we should have waited til morning because they were both then too excited to sleep!
Casper is now 8 days old, will be 9 days old in just 6 hours, and time is whooshing by. He is so utterly perfect and easy (so far), sleeps for long stretches, has already SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT from midnight to 7am - and he's breastfed! He rarely really cries unless he is having a cold wipe rudely shoved onto his bits! My daughter adores him, she thinks he's hers
she has barely blinked in the direction of her "baby" the Cookie Monster, and prefers to bring Casper muslins and mittens and toys he can't play with, and she gives him loads of kisses and refuses to go to bed unless she has said goodnight to him. Nap time is a struggle because if he's up she doesn't want to leave him! My other son is not sure what to make of him, though he is slowly coming round and has started to stroke him on the head (rather roughly as he is a boy after all!) I am making a fuss of him when I am not feeding Casper, but he has had a few jealous moments and even tried his luck trying to get some booby time - I'd have thought he's have forgotten by now as I stopped feeding him 4 months ago, but apparently not!Don't get me wrong, I love all my babies, but my hormones are mental with this one! I am just so so in love with him, I am crying over the slightest thing, every time I look at him I well up. I can't stand the idea that he's already almost 9 days old and find myself actually jealous of those a week overdue who get to do the newborn first week whereas mine's already over! Baby blues/post partum hormones have properly attacked me this time around. Not to scare anyone, I know it's entirely irrational and will pass, but I just want him to stay tiny and always be my baby! In no time he will be the size of my other two and that makes me cry as well! He ran out of sleepsuits today and I had to go get the dry laundry from the conservatory because I couldn't bear to put him in a 0-3 one as opposed to a newborn one! Sigh... I know it'll pass... But ladies, enjoy every single second you can with your baby. I know we all get sick of hearing that from rude old ladies when we are pregnant, but I'm saying it anyway, as a mum of 3 under 2 1/2 I can say that they grow up far far too quickly. I wish I could freeze time with him cuddled in my arms!
I will leave you with some photos of my gorgeous baby (FINALLY I have one that looks just like me!) and our lovely family.
Thank you all for the laughs and the support and I wish you all inspiring labours and healthy pink babies.
See you in Baby Club!
Vikki, Jack, Ella, Toby & Casper
xxxxxPic 1 - Moments after giving birth
Pic 2 - 20 minutes old
Pic 3 - With Daddy
Pic 4 - Wide awake in the car!
Pic 5 - My boys
